Yes, your butt does look big in that: How to tell people how they really look

Guest_post Ali of Make a Heart on how to answer that age old question: ‘Does My Butt look big in this?"

Telling someone they look bad can be tricky. We’re all happy to post photos of bad outfits online and write witty comments about how ridiculous they look, but would we actually tell this person what we really think? I think the blame for a lot of horrible outfits we see on celebrities should go to their stylists and friends, for not saying ‘Hey Beyonce, I know you’re all ‘I’m proud of my curves’ and whatever, but that dress is just too damn tight’.

You are completely entitled express your honest opinion in the following situations:

* In the store, in response to the question "What do you think of this?" This is the best opportunity as you can really shoot the thing down – at this stage you are only insulting the designer, not your friend’s fashion sense.

*Before leaving the house, in response to the questions like "How do I look?". You need to be a little gentler here, because your friend has already gone to the effort of putting together an outfit they like. Always suggest an alternative solution, or you’ll wait for another hour while she chooses something else.

*You’ve already left the house and you get asked a specific question such as "Tell me honestly, is this shirt too see-through?". At this stage you need to be honest but also reassuring. They’ll be wearing this all day and you don’t want them feeling insecure – confidence is key in pulling off an outfit!

How to address the issue tactfully:

*Direct your criticism towards the clothing, not your friend. It’s a lot easier to hear "The hem of that shirt just doesn’t seem to be quite the right length – have you got a longer top?" than "Your fat stomach is hanging out all over the place".

*If someone is wearing something so outrageously bad that you’re shocked by it, don’t say anything. We’ve all had those moments where you’re waiting for someone, and when she turns up in a hideously huge, brightly coloured hat, it catches you so off guard that you get this startled look on your face. To cover it up, you say "Wow! Love that hat!". Now, everyone loves a compliment, so if you say that you love her hat, she’s gonna keep wearing it. The other common reaction is to make a joke, but that’s really rude, so it’s best not to say anything.

*Unfortunately, the wearer of the hideously huge brightly coloured hat is probably going to ask what you think of the hat. Just say something like "Hmm, not the kinda thing I’d usually go for – where’d you get it?"  and hopefully her answer will provide an opportunity to change the subject (for example, just talk about shopping instead) and she’ll get the subtle message that you’re not a fan of the hat.

If everyone was a little more honest with each other, we’d all be more well-dressed. Just remember to play nice.

For more from Ali, visit her blog, Make a Heart

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