OK, Topshop, this is a Fashion Police intervention. You see, we love you, we really do, but when you insist on producing things like this white studded unitard (£80) and matching leotard (£60), we start wondering what the hell you're trying to do to us here? And when you suggest that the unitard in question be "rocked" with "a shrunken acid wash denim jacket and heels", well, we start to think you just might be taking the piss.
Who are you expecting to wear these items, Topshop? Where are you expecting them to be worn? Sure, yeah, we know dancers wear unitards and leotards, sometimes. But surely not strapless ones? And surely to God, not with acid wash jackets and heels?
Someone please explain this to us. Or tell us we're hallucinating, and these items don't actually exist. Please.