What Not to Wear to the Beach: Aubrey O’Day

Earlier today we showed you the dress that is not really a dress. Now we’d like to follow that up with the sad tale of the Bikini That Is Not Really a Bikini.

Warning: Although Aubrey O’Day apparently thought this outfit was safe for the beach, it’s possibly not safe for work, so proceed with caution:

Yeah. That’s… not a bikini. And to be fair, she was wearing this for a photoshoot. We can only assume it was a shoot for the kind of men’s magazine you find on the top shelf, although if that’s the case, well, maybe Malibu beach wasn’t quite the right venue. Anyway: don’t wear this to the beach, kids! It’s NOT A BIKINI…

(P.S. In response to the male readers who are about to leave us comments telling us we’re JUST JELUS and that if we had her figure, why, we’d be almost naked on the beach too: sorry to¬†disappoint, but no. And sure, she does have a nice figure, we’ll give you that. But even if we had figures exactly like it, we wouldn’t be out in public dressed like this, because these are not “clothes”, and because not every woman in the world is obsessed with being OMGSEXY. Sometimes we just want to be, you know, dressed.)

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