Wear or Die

Wear or Die: Project Runway Edition

Project Runway is a great show, isn’t it? It’s always entertaining to see all that creativity being unleashed, and clearly these outfits are more about showcasing the creativity of their designers rather than creating clothes for real women to wear. In public. What if you had to wear one of these outfits in public, though? What if it was either that, or death? Well, that’s the choice facing you this week, we’re afraid, readers. You must wear either Blayne and Stella’s “nude suit” with, er, embellishments, or Kenley and Wesley’s huge shouldered ensemble – or you must die. So what’s it going to be?

Wear or Die: New York Fashion Week Edition – Hervé Léger swimwear S/S 09

OK, folks, we know summer’s gone and it’s hardly beach weather, but grab your cossies because we’re taking you to the beach anyway. Or actually, on second thoughts, forget the cossies – we’ll supply those for you, and boy do we have a treat for you today, because we’ve managed to score you a couple of Hervé Léger one pieces, fresh from the New York catwalk! You’ll be the belle of the beach in these beauties, but which one will you choose to wear, we wonder. Will you look weirdly indecent, even although you’re totally covered up in the black number, or will you choose to turn heads by giving the appearance of being naked in the “nude” coloured suit…

Wear or Die: Crocs V. Skechers

We know what you’re thinking. "Why do The Fashion Police hate us?" you’re wondering. "What did we ever do to them that would make them treat us so cruelly, forcing us into a a pair of hideous orange shoes against our will?" Hush, hush. The Fashion Police don’t hate you: it’s just another game of Wear or Die, and we have to say, we’re curious about this one. Can we persuade you to wear a pair of Crocs by giving you a pair of equally hideous Skechers as your only alternative, we wonder? In other words, which of these shoes would you choose to wear if you had to wear one – or die? A quick recap of the rules…

Wear or Die: Clubwear Edition

Folks, grab your coats – we’re taking you clubbing. Actually, on second thoughts, forget the coats – you see, this is clubbing Wear or Die style, and you wouldn’t want to hide the pretty clothes we’ve got picked out for you, would you? This week we’ve gone searching through the clubwear section of our cells, and we’ve unearthed these two little beauties for you to try. You may be thinking the item on the left is a dress, but think again: this is actually a jumpsuit, although whether that makes it better or worse is up to you to decide. Decide you must, though, because it’s either wear this, wear the dress next to it – or die. So, what’s…

Wear or Die: Jump(Suit) for your life!

This week’s dose of style-related torture comes to you, not from The Fashion Police ourselves, but from reader Helen, who hit up eBay on our behalf and found these two jumpsuits – one of which you must wear, or die! You know the rules: you must pick one item to wear, and give us the reasons for your choice in the comments section. What’s it going to be, though: the bright pink “Barbie does Dallas” jumpsuit on the left or the fetching skull-suit on the right? Remember, if you don’t choose one, you die – so choose well, dear readers! P.S. – if you’re choosing the skull suit, you may want to take a look at the back view first…

Wear or Die: Moon Spoon Saloon

This week’s edition of Wear or Die is brought to us by new fashion label Moon Spoon Saloon. While some members of the fashion blogging fraternity are currently applauding Moon Spoon Saloon for being "different" and "intriguing", there are others who, while acknowledging this to be the case, are simply looking at their work and saying, "Hey, if people were forced to wear one of these outfits or die, I wonder which one they’d choose?" Guess which group we’re in? So, which outfit will you choose, folks? The puffy clown suit on the left or the little leather number on the right? The choice is yours, you lucky, lucky people!

Wear or Die! 80s fashion

We’re pleased to say that after our plea for help last week, some of you decided to take pity on your poor Fashion Police, and submit some Wear or Die outfits for us to torture you all with. This week’s submissions come from Han, so you have her to blame for the fact that today you’re going back to the 80s, wearing either an acid wash 80s jumpsuit (left) or… a pink 80s jumpsuit (right). Neither are exactly what you’d call “attractive”, but of course, that’s not what Wear or Die is about, so if you’d kindly choose one of these fine items to wear, at least you know you’ll be able to escape death for one more week. Which…

Wear or Die: Black or white?

As Michael Jackson once so eloquently put it, "If you’re thinking ’bout my baby, it don’t matter if you’re black or white". When you’re playing Wear or Die with The Fashion Police, however, it might matter to you if you’re wearing black or white, because neither of these choices are particularly attractive ones, in our opinion at least. This is the choice that faces you today, though, dear readers: you must wear one of these two dresses, or die. So what’ll it be: black or white?

Wear or Die: Animal Instincts

The Fashion Police have noticed that a lot of our readers don’t like animal print. This is a shame, because guess what we have for you to try on for this week’s Wear or Die? Did you guess "animal print"? Good guess! Yes, today your choice is between the leopard print leggings on the left, or the dress on the right, which seems to used the prints of quite a few animals to create this, umm, "unique" effect. Poor animals. And poor you, because, according to the rules of the game, if you don’t choose one of these items to wear, you die! Which leaves our only remaining question: which item will you choose?

Wear or Die: Customised skirts

For this week’s Wear or Die we’ve ventured into the wild and not-very-wonderful territory of the customised skirt, bringing back these two little beauties for you all to try on. You know the rules of the game: you must choose one of these items to wear – or you must die. Sorry. So, which is it going to be: Tweetie Pie or Jane of the Jungle? Little-girl-in-a-mini-skirt or… well, Jane of the Jungle. The tacky jungle. The choice is yours, dear readers – just remember that if you don’t choose, you die!* *Note: not really

Wear or Die: Gonna dress you up in my fug

It’s time for another Wear or Die, folks – the game where everyone’s a loser, because they have to either choose an ugly item of clothing to wear, or die. Today, we’ve searched high and low for the ugliest items around. We finally found them on eBay (the dress on the left) and Metropark (right) and now that we’ve found them, we’re going to sit back and wait while you decide which of these fine items of clothing you’d choose to wear, assuming that you had to wear one – or die! What’s your choice? 

Wear or Die: The Bottom Half

Who wears short shorts? Why, you do, dear reader – but only if you pick the Burfitt High Gilla Check Shorts on the left of the above image as the item you’d wear in order to escape death today in this edition of Wear or Die: the game where everyone’s either fugly or dead. Should you pick the high waisted, tapered-leg, pleat-front pants on the right, however, you may not find yourself feeling much more comfortable, on account of how you’ll be wearing one of the most unflattering shapes ever to come out of the 80s. Still, you know the rules: you must pick one item to wear, because trust us, or you must die. So, what’s your choice?

Wear or Die: All White on the Night

Throw away your little black dresses, folks! White is where it’s at – or it is when it’s Wednesday afternoon and it’s time to play Wear or Die, anyway… Today your choice is between the two dresses shown above. We don’t care whether you decide to flaunt your figure in the skintight "I’m totally not wearing any underwear with this" dress on the left, or the "Don’t you think shredded loo roll makes excellent party clothes?" number on the right. All we care about is that you choose to wear one of them – or die! Tell us your choice in the comments field below!

Wear or Die: Panic at the Disco!

The collection these outfits come from is called The Disco Collection, so we’re assuming that’s where you’re supposed to wear them, although we reckon it’ll be a case of ‘panic at the disco’ indeed if you try wearing either one of these on a crowded dance floor… Of course, we jest: we know these are art, dahlinks, but we still thought it might be fun to make you all choose one of them to wear – or die! So, what’s it to be, Fashion Police cadets? Will you choose to possibly disembowel people with your dress, or would you prefer to go for the "It’s going to be fun trying to sit down in it" skirt? Play Wear or Die…

Wear or Die: We bet that you’ll look good on the dance floor…

It’s party time, people! And as everyone knows, there ain’t no party like a Fashion Police party – especially when everyone’s wearing ugly outfits, handpicked by us! This week you’ll be hitting the dance floor in one of the dresses above: either Goddiva’s red foil party dress or Julia Clancy’s leopard print ‘Latoyah’ smock, which isn’t actually a dress at all, but which will look very J.Lo worn with a pair of stilettos and a diva attitude. We’re sure you’ll all look just lovely no matter which you chose to wear, of course, but which is it going to be? (Remember that if you don’t wear one… you die!)

Wear or Die: Pretty in Pink

Pink: it makes the boys wink, apparently. Will they be winking at you in one of these beauties, though, that is the question?  On the left, we have Wet Seal’s ‘Cold Shoulder’ butterfly dress (and before you ask, no, you can’t wear it with jeans, leggings or anything else – you have to wear it the way it’s shown, although we’ll let you choose your own shoes. We’re all heart.) On the right, meanwhile, we have Goddiva’s ‘Kate’ chiffon dress, which is apparently in the style of Kate Middleton. Eh?! Goddiva say the Kate dress is "perfect for a romantic dinner", so let’s assume that’s what we’re picking outfits for today. So, two pink dresses, two very different styles –…

Wear or Die: Mom “fashion”

"Kids? Time to come on in now – we got your ugly clothes all ready for you!" Yes, for this week’s Wear or Die, we’re trying something a little different, so while these clothes won’t exactly burn the retinas of your eyes, they’re not going to be winning you any style awards either. In fact, they’ll make you look like someone’s mom. The choice, then, has been laid before you: you can either wear "mom jeans" or … a skort. The catch is that if you don’t wear one of them – you die! Drop us a comment to tell us your answer!

Wear or Die: Ugly Sweaters

Ho ho ho! We know it’s not Christmas, but here at Wear or Die, every season is the season for Ugly Sweaters, and today we want to ask you: suppose you absolutely had to wear one of the sweaters above – or die? Which one would you choose? Would it be the "scary snowman", peeping coyly around your breastbone on the left of the picture above, or will you go for the scary… what the hell are those things, anyway? – in pepto bismol pink? The choice is yours, folks, but remember: you must choose one – or die!

Wear or Die: Freaky flats

We love Office, we do. But as we took our usual weekly stroll through the shoe sections this morning, we couldn’t help but notice that something strange was going on with some of the flats. Something that made us scratch our heads and say, "Hmmm, if people had to wear one pair of these shoes, or die, which pair would they choose?" Well, we’re about to find out. You can wear the nautical slip ons, featuring just about every print known to man, or you can go for the slightly more grown up be-fringed lace-ups. But if you don’t go for one of them… you die, simple as that! Tell us which you’d choose and why…

Wear or Die: Swimwear section

It’s almost summer, which means it’s time to start thinking about swimwear. Of course, most of us would probably prefer not to think about the types of swimwear pictured above, which kinda scream out "I have absolutely no intention of swimming, but LOOK AT ME anyway!", but that’s too bad because The Fashion Police are going to make you think about them. In fact, we’re going to go even further than that and make you pick one to wear. If you don’t wear one, you die*. Simple! Yes, folks, it’s this week’s edition of Wear or Die and we want to know which of these two swimsuits you’d wear if you had no other choice. Will it be the "belly…