Wear or Die

Wear or Die: Strange Shoes

We haven't had a footwear edition of Wear or Die for a while now, so without further ado, let's sit back, relax and… try to imagine what we'd do if someone forced us to choose one of the pairs of shoes above – on pain of death. Would the relative comfort of Option B allow you to overlook the fact that you're essentially wearing a couple of rodents (moles? We're not sure: answers on a postcard) on your feet, or  do you prefer to stick your feet in a giraffe instead? Mole, giraffe or … death: what's it to be?

Wear or Die: Cher’s Oscar Fashion Edition

  This week's Wear or Die was inspired by Fashion Police reader Molly, who suggested we force our readers to dress up like Cher – or die. "Well, why the hell not?" we thought. And so it is that today you find yourselves in the unenviable position of choosing between one of the two Oscar night fashions above. Neither are outfits for the faint-hearted, but what if you HAD to wear one of them – or die? Which one would you choose? The outfit on the left may look initially more frightening, but the one on the right reveals much more skin. Just to level out the playing field a little, we're going to allow you to ditch the hat/wig/whatever…

Wear or Die: Agatha Ruiz de la Prada Fall 2009 edition

  Ah, the wonderful world of high fashion! Humorous? Yes. Creative? Most definitely. Something you'd actually wear in real life? Um, not so much, sometimes. What if you HAD to wear it in real life, though? What if some of those "for the runway only" creations were ALL you found in your wardrobe one morning, and you had no choice but to wear one of them? Or what if The Fashion Police forced you to wear one of them, on pain of death? That's the difficult situation you find yourself facing today, readers. Above are two outfits from the Agatha Ruiz de la Prada Fall 2009 show. You must wear one of them – or die. So, which one will…

Wear or Die: Buenos Aires Fashion Week edition

  It may not be quite as well known as the New York/London/Paris/Milan events, but Buenos Aires has a Fashion Week too, and it's to Buebos Aires that we take you now, to ask the all-important question: if you had to wear one of the two outfits shown above – or die – which outfit would you choose? You know the rules by now: you must wear the outfit as it's shown, and you must wear it in public. Or, you must die. Obviously no one would want to die over a silly old acorn/insect dress (would they?) so tell us: which option would you choose?

Wear or Die: New York Fashion Week Edition

  So far, The Fashion Police haven't exactly been run off our feet thanks to New York Fashion Week: in fact, the whole event has been surprisingly bereft of crimes of fashion. With many designers doing their best to appear respectful of the current economic situation, it's all been a little bit restrained, but the Wear or Die show must go on, and so we managed to dig up these outfits from VPL and Threeasfour to taunt you with. Imagine, then, readers, that we're holding a gun to your head.We're telling you that if you don't choose one of these outfits to wear – and you must wear it exactly as it's shown in the picture – you must die….

Wear or Die: Yellow and green should never be seen

  It's been becoming increasingly clear in recent months that we're currently living through an Era of Awful Trousers. Dropped crotches, supper-baggy legs (often with elasticated ankles), hideous patterns – you name it, we've seen it. There's only one thing more amusing than Awful Trousers, though, and that's forcing you, our readers, to wear a pair of them. Today, we give you the choice of not one, but two pairs: it's up to you which pair you decide to go for, but remember – we're playing Wear or Die here, and the rules of the game state that if you don't choose one, you must die! (The rules also state that you're not allowed to cover your chosen outfit up…

Wear or Die: Denim dresses

This week's edition of Wear of Die – the game where everyone loses – is brought to us, not by some specialist clubwear site, or even by avant-garde designer who thinks it's "creative" to wear your skirt on your head, but from our very own Miss Selfridge. Yes, the store that spawned many a fine Dress of the Day has now turned to the Dark Side, and has been busily churning out denim dresses for the past few weeks. The 80s revival claims another victim! What if you absolutely HAD to wear one of those denim dresses, though? What if it was that or… death? What if the two dresses above were all that stood between you and the opportunity…

Wear or Die: Crotch Vs. Hips

  Despite our much-discussed loathing of the crime of fashion that is the drop-crotch pant, we don't think we've forced our readers to contemplate wearing a pair yet. Well, that has to change, of course, but what could possibly be more horrible than a crotch that reaches your knees, we wondered? Well, how about hips that would make it difficult to fit through doors? The Fashion Police have been alarmed to find more and more garments with huge, puffy hips appearing in our cells recently, and so we got to wondering: if our readers HAD to wear either a dropped crotch or a pair of massive hips – which would they choose? This is the choice that's now before you….

Wear or Die: Footwear Edition

  It's been a while since we had a footwear edition of Wear or Die, so of course we had to rectify that, didn't we? Up above, you see two shoes. Both are black, both are ankle height and, in our opinions at least, both have taken a bit of a beating from the ugly stick. But just say you HAD to wear one of them. Or die. That's the choice before you today, folks, but will you choose Option A, which is Ann Demeulemeester's lace-up flat boots, or will you go for Option B, which is "Twister" by Irregular Choice? It's a hard choice, but someone has to make it, and today that someone is you. Yes, you. Make…

Wear or Die: The Wrong Trousers

Once again, The Fashion Police have seized a shipment of contraband clothes, and have decided to make good use of them by forcing you, our readers, to wear them – or die. The two outfits above come from SANS, and, as you can see, feature large holes in the trousers. Our question to you, then – and we must admit, it’s a question we never thought we’d hear ourselves ask – is this: do you prefer the large hole in your trousers to: a) have a large pair of bloomers protruding from it or b) make you look like a creepy cowboy? Up to you, readers: tell us your choice in the comments!

Wear or Die: Holes

Wear or Die has been on hiatus for a few weeks, but after yesterday’s Porthole Sweater, we couldn’t resist investigating the phenomenon of "clothes with holes" a little further, and after taking these two outfits into custody, well, it was only natural that we’d think to ourselves, "Hey! What if our readers had to wear one of these – or die?" And so it is that we present you with an difficult choice – choose one of these outfits to wear, or choose death. (But please don’t choose death, because that’s just no fun now, is it?). On the left, a holey dress (no, you can’t wear something underneath it, sorry), and on the right, a pair of holey leggings…

Wear or Die: Nice day for an ugly wedding dress!

We know we’ve marched our readers down the aisle before as part of Wear or Die, but damn, if those ugly wedding dresses don’t keep on coming! As you all know by now, The Fashion Police have no mercy, either, so today your choice is to choose one of these fine outfits to wear on the happiest – but worst dressed – days of your life. The dress on the right is made from fake fur. The outfit on the left, meanwhile, is… yeah. To make things just a little bit easier on you, though, we’re going to break our own rules for once and allow you to wear something to cover your girls underneath the top of that one….

Wear or Die: print dresses

We were a little bit stumped as to what to give you for this week’s Wear or Die, so we decided to take a look inside the Fashion Police jail and see what we could come up with. As you can imagine, there was no shortage of ugly items there, but we finally narrowed it down to the selections you can see above. On the left, a Matthew Williamson dress from July of 2007, on the right, a dress from Topshop’s Archive Collection of the same month. Both of these dresses had us reaching for the Fashion Police handcuffs, but we’re now letting them out on parole, purely so you can play Wear or Die with them. You’re welcome! The…

Wear or Die: Shiny!

The Fashion Police were forced to impound another consignment of Great Glam stock this week. We would’ve just thrown it all straight into the jail, but then we thought, “What’s the fun in that when we could force our readers to wear it?” So here you are, folks, welcome to another Wear or Die, featuring the ‘Gilded Dreams’ jumpsuit on the left and the ‘Illusionist’ dress on the right, which has to be viewed from the back to be truly appreciated. Remember, you will be wearing the item you choose in public, so you can’t opt to hide away somewhere in it, and nor are you allowed to cover it up in any way. The game is Wear or Die,…

Wear or Die: Acne edition

Acne have amazed us on more than one occasion lately, so who better than they to provide us with this week’s Wear or Die options? First of all, some ground rules: 1. You must choose one outfit to wear – or die, mwa-ha-ha! 2. You must wear the outfit in public, so no answers along the lines of “the second one, but I’ll make sure I don’t leave the house all day!” are permitted. We’re mean like that, sorry. 3. You may not cover the item up in any way, so no “I’ll take the dress and wear a coat over the top”, unfortunately. With that said, all that remains is for us to pose the question: will you wear…

Wear or Die: One extreme or the other?

For today’s game of Wear or Die we thought we’d show you some extremes of style, and find out which side you’d come down on, assuming that you absolutely had to choose one or die. On the left of the picture above, then, you’ll see Peggy Noland’s ‘Missbehave’ leggings (yes, the text says “Missbehave”, in case you were wondering), while on the right is a Victorian nightgown, whoops, we mean dress, by Comme des Garcons. Which will you choose to wear, though? Will you “missbehave” in the leggings (and before you ask, no, you may not wear something over the top of them to cover them up – the leggings must be on show at all times!) or will you…

Wear or Die: Footwear edition

With winter hard upon us, it’s time to stock up on warm winter footwear, folks. Or actually, scratch that: let’s just stock up on totally impractical peep toe footwear instead, shall we? And let’s make it ugly, into the bargain! Well, it is Wear or Die, and that’s how it goes in this game, unfortunately… Before you stand two boots. On the left, a black peep toe boot which has been forced inside a cheap copy of Balenciaga’s famous lego shoes. On the right, meanwhile,  a frightening take on the summer’s gladiator trend from a brand called "Promiscuous Tempt". Er, yeah. Your task then, readers, is to choose one of the options above to wear. Oh, and if you don’t…

Wear or Die: Playsuits

After the couture crimes we’ve been featuring in Wear or Die recently, we thought you might want to slip into something a little more comfortable – or actually, maybe not when you find out that by “comfortable” we mean “a playsuit”. And by “a playsuit”, we mean “one of the two playsuits pictured above”. Ah. The “nylons over the face” look from the Martin Margiela show are starting to seem like a good idea all of a sudden, no? Still, whatever you think of them (and who knows, you may even like them, in which case this’ll be an easy game for you), you must pick one of the outfits above, and you must wear it – or die. Will…

Wear or Die: Paris Fashion Week Edition

Welcome to this week’s Wear or Die, folks, and before you ask, no, you may NOT choose to wear nylons over your face like these models. Because that would be cheating, wouldn’t it, and anyway, you’re going to want everyone to see you in your lovely new hot-off-the-Paris-catwalk duds, aren’t you? Well, OK, maybe not, but Wear or Die is the name of the game, and as that name suggests, your task is to choose one of these outfits to wear. If you don’t pick one? You die. And maybe you’ll want to, who knows… Both of this week’s choices come from Maison Martin Margiela’s S/S 09 collection. Will you choose to wear the, er, hair suit on the left,…

Wear or Die: London Fashion Week edition

Of all the fashion weeks around the world, London is The Fashion Police’s favourite, because it’s at London Fashion Week that all of the youngest, freshest and, dare we say it, craziest designers tend to to come out to play. Both of the outfits above come from Christopher Kane’s S/S 09 show, which was pretty darn cool to look at, it has to be said. Would you actually wear it, though? And if so, which outfit would you wear? Sadly for you (or perhaps not, if you like these), you don’t actually have the option to say “no” to that first question, because this is Wear or Die, and that means you have to chose one of these outfits to…