Wear or Die

Wear or Die: Denim Dress Edition

If you love denim dresses, this edition of Wear or Die will be right up your, er, ranch. If you don’t love denim dresses, on the other hand… well, look at it this way: at least it’s better that death, right? Death or denim, you see, is the choice that lies before you today, readers. You must choose one of the two dresses above to wear (in public, remember: no “Oh, I’ll just wear it around the house,” answers – that doesn’t count!), or you must die. Simple, isn’t it? So, which one will you choose? Option A: D&G silk denim-print pussybow dress Option B: Democracy of Nevermind denim skirt jumper

Wear or Die: Couture Week Edition – Givenchy 2010

Readers, you SHALL go to the ball! Yes, your Fairy Godmother Fashion Police Officers have waved our magic wands, and tonight we’re taking you all out to the fanciest ball you can imagine. And what’s more, we’ve scored you a couple of couture gowns to wear too, courtesy of Givenchy. The only tiny problem? It’s the two dresses pictured above. And if you don’t choose one of them to wear to the ball? Well, you die. Them’s the breaks. Which dress will you choose, then, assuming that you must wear one, or die? Tell us in the comments!

Wear or Die: Jason Wu Edition

Most of the time, Jason Wu gets it so right. Even the First Lady would agree, But when it goes wrong, it’s really very wrong isn’t it? Granted, these aren’t the worst dresses to be featured on Wear or Die, but we cant imagine Michelle Obama rocking either of these and being happy about it. So if you had to, would you wear this Jason Wu ostrich feather dress (a mere £3,315 for all that glue gun action) or this bright yellow number (just £1865 to look like a bumble bee): It’s over to you! Which would you rather? Birds or bees?

Wear or Die: Shressed to Impress

Readers, we’re taking you out for the evening. Fancy party, posh frocks – you know the drill. And don’t worry, it’s all on The Fashion Police – even the clothes, in fact, because here’s the rub: you’re going to have to wear one of these two dresses from our jail. Yes, it’s time for a game of Wear or Die, and that means you either choose one of these to wear or… you die. Simple. (We’d really rather not have to kill you, though, so we’re hoping you’ll play along. Seriously, what’s a bit of VPL amongst friends, anyway?) As for the dresses, Option A is by Shakuhachi, while Option B is Gareth Pugh. Which would you choose, if you…

Wear or Die: Crotch Vs Hips

Crotch or hips, crotch or hips? That’s the choice that lies before you today, readers. Would you rather have all of the droopy, excess material on your pants hanging loosely between your knees…or would you prefer to have it hanging loosely around your hips? Of course, you may well prefer not to have any droopy fabric on your trousers AT ALL, but that’s too bad, because this is Wear or Die, and that means you must choose one of the items above to wear… or you must die. Which one would you choose? (Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION!) (Option A: Givenchy, £1073.70, Option B: Matthew Williamson ,£534)

Wear or Die: Shirt Dresses

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser – so we thought it was high time we forced our readers to choose between two ugly items of clothing again! For this Wear or Die, we’re dipping our toes into the murky waters of the shirt dress: for yes, readers, the two items you see before you are, indeed, dresses, not just ugly shirts. We’ve given you the choice here between two very different styles: the down-and-out option A (£60 at Topshop) , or the frilly, new-romantic style of option B (£25 at Desire Clothing). We wouldn’t want to wear either of them, personally, but what if you HAD to…

Wear or Die: Louis Vuitton shoe edition

Shoes! With moustaches! They’re what we’ll all be wearing next summer, apparently: or so Louis Vuitton would have is believe. Both of these styles appeared on the runway as part of their Spring/Summer 2010 show, but luckily for you, you don’t have to wait until then to try them on, because we’re presenting them to you now, as part of this week’sWear or Die. You’re welcome! Yes, readers, you must pick one of these shoes to wear in public – or you must die. But which ones will you choose? Leave your answers in the comments box, and remember: death is not an option!

Wear or Die: House of Holland denim edition

London Fashion Week has been and gone, but we’re still having recurring nightmares about some of the pieces featured in the House of Holland show, so we figured, what the hell! Let’s make our readers choose one of these outfits to wear… or die! And then we laughed like cartoon villains. The two outfits we’ve chosen for you both feature a dash of denim. Would you rather wear that denim placed strategically over your private parts, as in option A, however, or in the form of a denim bra, worn with big pants and lots of lace, like option B? The choice is yours: just remember, however, that you must choose one outfit to wear – in this game, death…

Wear or Die: Printed Pants

It’s been a while since we’ve played Wear or Die, but as soon as we laid eyes on the two pairs of pants shown above, we knew we had to try and force you to wear them: or one pair of them at least. That’s the task before you now, readers: imagine that The Fashion Police have stolen all of your clothes. Instead, we present you with these two pairs of trousers (and OK, we’ll let you wear a top and shoes with them – we’re not that mean), with the warning that if you don’t choose one pair to wear, you must die. Now, clearly you’re not going to want to die over a pair of pants, so tell…

Wear or Die: prison attire, a.k.a. more denim jumpsuits

We're thinking of changing the name of this column to Jumpsuit or Die, purely because we're fairly certain that even if we live to be 100 years old, we still won't have time to round up all of the hideous jumpsuits that are drawn to our attention. Today we bring you two creations that we think would make good choices for the Fashion Police prison uniforms. We must look into that. On the left, a denim jumpsuit by Alexander Wang, modelled by someone who was too ashamed to show her face. On the right, meanwhile, a denim jumpsuit from ASOS, modelled by, um, Rihanna.* You, readers, must wear one of these jumpsuits or die. So, which one will you choose?…

Wear or Die: Paisley print dress edition

Paisley print is one of The Fashion Police's pet hates. We don't really know why this is: it just IS. And so while neither of the two dresses shown above would ever make it into our closet, who knows, those of you who don't share our dislike of all things paisley and voluminous will probably find this a particularly easy edition of Wear or Die. This round of the game pits Marc Jacobs against Alexander McQueen, and mini against maxi. Which one would you wear, assuming you had to wear one – or die?

Wear or Die: Hi ho silver!

For this edition of Wear or Die, we've chosen to items of clothing connected only by the fact that they're both silver, and both on the shiny side. They're also both "on trend" (yes, that phrase makes us cringe, too), so who knows, you may even like one or both of them, in which case, this will be a relatively easy choice for you. So let's get on with making it, shall we? This week you choose between ASOS's mirror foil body con dress (£35) and River Island's sequined harem pants (£34.99). You may choose your accessories yourself (sorry, no long overcoats allowed!), but you must wear one of the items above: or die. Which would you choose?

Wear or Die: Another jumpsuit edition

We know jumpsuits tend to appear on Wear or Die more than most items of clothing, but really, so many ugly jumpsuits, so little time: can you blame us? Today we want to know what you'd wear, faced with a clear choice between psychedelic silk from New Look (option A) or 80s-print viscose with built-in hips from Miss Selfridge (option B). You must choose one, or, sorry, but you must DIE!

Wear or Die: Katie/Katy edition – Katie Price or Katy Perry?

This morning The Fashion Police woke up with a burning question on our minds: what would we have to do to persuade our readers to dress like Katie Price/Jordan, and make them think it was a good idea? And then the answer came to us: make the only other option dressing like Katy Perry, in the strange half suit/half dress outfits which was one of her costumes at the MTV Europe music awards. Simple! As it happens, both women shown here are wearing weirdly indecisive outfits, but what we want to know is this: if you HAD to dress like one of them – or face death – which one would you choose? It's the "Katy/Katie" edition of Wear or…

Guest Post – Wear or Die: Alexander McQueen edition

 This edition of Wear or Die was written by Ms Jenn of {Bits of Beauty})> Ms Jenn writes… "Ladies and Gents, welcome to Wear or Die: Alexander McQueen edition. I guess we could also call this one, the Odd Bird edition. Mr McQueen is a well-known genius and darling of the fashion world. We all go raving mad over possibly owning a piece of McQueen fashion royalty. So, how generous and fabulous, that you get to choose one of two runway looks? That's right, you get to wear the entire look, including the shoes. Isn't that fabulous? Wait, no? You fool, do you think you have a choice?! Oh wait, you have the choice to DIE, which in any case,…

Wear or Die: Lady Gaga edition

It's been a while since we had any new Lady Gaga outfits to show you, so today we thought it might be fun to not just SHOW you these ones, but to actually make you WEAR them, too. Well, fun for us, anyway. Yes, it's the Lady Gaga edition of Wear or Die, and your task is to decide which of the outfits above you'd choose if you had to wear one of them - or die. Would you go out in only your underwear, as Lady G seems to have done in outfit A, or would you be a little more covered up in the ripped leggings of outfit B? The decision is yours, readers: which one will you choose?

Wear or Die: Jumpsuit for your life!

This week's Wear or Die is a special treat for those of you who love jumpsuits. And for those of you who don't – well, it is Wear or Die, what do you expect? For those of you who've never played before, a quick recap of the rules: 1. You must pick one of the outfits above to wear – on pain of death! 2. Death is not an option. Sorry. See, easy, isn't it? Well, it would be easy if it wasn't a choice between a droopy crotch or massive hips, obviously. But it is, so let's decide: which outfit would you choose? [Option A | Option B]

Wear or Die: Clubwear Edition

Oh yes, we went there. We went to Ami Clubwear, and we came back with two dresses which we will now force our readers to choose between: or die. And if there's anyone out there who DOESN'T choose death on this one, we'll be absolutely amazed. With that said, as regular readers will know, in this game, death is not an option. For those of you just joining us, you must choose one of the two outfits above to wear. In public. If you don't choose one – you die! So, which one will you choose?

Wear or Die: Comme des Garcons edition

  Our investigations in the Comme des Garcons section of Yoox.com yesterday made us wonder if there was anything else there we should be taking note of. These two sack dresses aren't in the same league as those infamous bloomers, of course, but they did make us wonder: if we had to wear one of them – or die – which one would we choose? That's the question facing you now, readers: would you rather be the madwoman in the attic or an extra from Little House on the Prairie? You decide! It's either that … or death!

Wear or Die: Psychadelic Jumpsuit edition

 It's often said in our comments section that the Fashion Police "hate" all jumpsuits. We'd just like to take this opportunity to say that this isn't true: we don't actually hate ALL jumpsuits: just the ones that look like this. (We do hate almost everything that has a swirly, psychedelic kind of print on it, though. That's certainly true.) With that said, we present the two outfits above as this week's Wear or Die dilemma. Option A comes from Mango, and is £55. Option B is a Topshop creation, which doesn't seem to be available to buy yet, but don't worry, that doesn't stop us offering it to you today. You know the rules, folks: you must pick one of…