Under Fashion Police Arrest: Proenza Schouler’s beaded satin jumpsuit


Well, if this isn't the worst use of $10,750 we've seen, we don't know what is. No, that's not a typo, readers: this Proenza Schouler jumpsuit really does cost more than a second-hand car, which is really quite amazing considering that it has so many things wrong with it we could almost use it as a handbook for new Fashion Police recruits, to help them identify crimes of fashion.

The puffy legs, finished with elasticated ankles – that's two crimes of fashion right there. The "lowered inseam", which is just another way of saying "dropped crotch". Three crimes of fashion. The "boobs busting out of the porn star top. Four. The trashy, cut-away sides. Five. The bondage-style back:


We're up to six crimes of fashion. We still haven't mentioned the market-stall effect fabric, which takes us to seven. We could probably keep counting, but we need to go and lie down in a darkened room, so we'll leave you to get on with that without us. And seriously, we don't even care that this has, as eLuxury says, "Very exquisite Hungarian bugle bead embroidery forms elegant and iridescent crescents": all we can think of is that $10,750…

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