Frankenshoes: Flatforms have gone too far now

Ugly black "flatform" shoes

Seriously. SERIOUSLY, people.

Not even Jeffrey Campbell, Enemy of Feet, would think these were a good idea. NOT EVEN JEFFREY. And when Jeffrey Campbell would look at a shoe and think, “You know, I think these may be a little too ugly…” you know you’re in trouble.

These look like boats:

Ugly flatform shoesSinister, terrifying boats. Like, if fashion was a horror movie, the bad guys would sail around inside giant versions of these shoes, wouldn’t they? And we’ll tell you what: THEY PROBABLY DO. This is what we’re up against, people. This is what the evil masterminds at the head of the Fashion Crime Ring are capable of. Are you scared? Because you should be.

Also: if they look this bad in the product shot, just imagine what they look like on feet! Oh, right: we don’t have to imagine it:

Ugly flatform shoesYikes.

Flatforms: they just don’t need to exist, do they? (If you disagree, click here to buy them.)


Have you voted yet?

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