Fashion Crime Friday | Tuxedo dresses, stirrup socks and other crimes of fashion

Attention all officers: it’s Fashion Crime Friday, and the following Style Suspects are going to have to be processed before you can hang up your police badges for the weekend. Here’s our first victim – we mean “suspect”:

tuxedo dress

[Buy it here for £1,072]

Suspect # 1 | The Tuxedo Dress

This keeps on happening, and we’ve no idea why. Why are tuxedo dresses a thing now? Why do we need these half dress/half jumpsuit hybrids? Why, in OUR day, people either wore dresses, or they wore tuxedos: they had no need to wear both of them simultaneously. Of course, this was all fields, then. Hey, you kids! Get off our lawn!

Almost as bad as the tuxedo dress is THIS dress:

ugly dress

[Buy it here for £3690]

Suspect # 2 | This Dress

This is one of those items which probably seemed like a good idea on the runway, but which should probably have stayed there, if you ask us. Which, of course, you didn’t. “What happens on the runway stays on the runway”: that’s our motto. This dress, however, has filtered through to retail sites, which raises the question of where you’d actually wear something like this in real life. OK, the pose isn’t helping, but £3690 floor-length gowns generally say “black tie” to us, but even assuming you were to wear something underneath the chiffon top, this doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you’d wear to your company’s annual ball, does it? (Seriously, DOES IT? If so, we want to work where people dress like this…)

Suspect # 3 | Leather stirrup socks

leather stirrup socks

[Buy them here for $1,290]

Leather stirrup socks: another item we’re going to file under “things that don’t need to exist.”

Suspect # 4 | The Strange Skirt

strange skirt

[Buy it here for £237]

We’ve no idea what’s going on with this skirt, but we do know it’s the last one available, so if your hips are your best bit, and you really want to get them noticed, you know what to do.

Have a great weekend, everyone! And don’t forget, you can follow us here:

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