Trousers/Pants

How wide legged is TOO wide legged?

Even although we have no love for the wide legged trousers at the best of times, we have to concede that they do look good on some people – and by that, we mean "people who aren’t us". There is a limit, however, to how much "wideness" we’re willing to take from the aforementioned trousers, and we think these trousers by Love Label have taken things just that bit too far. We’re also really hating this whole "look, I don’t got no feet!" look that seems to go hand-in-hand with wide leg trousers for so many people. Yes, Kim Kardashian, we are looking at you… What do you think? Too wide, or perfectly acceptable, if you like that sort of…

Harem pant fashion crimes on the rise. Or are they?

Despite the persistence with which retailers keep making harem pants available for sale, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with walking around with your crotch hovering somewhere above your knees, we have to admit that we’ve yet to see anyone actually wearing the offending garments in real life. We’re wondering now if this is just some kind of crazy plot by the aforementioned retailers to make us think that harem pants are being snapped up in their thousands, while actually they’re all sitting unsold in some warehouse somewhere. It’s certainly something to think about, anyway. These harem pants by Urban Outfitters are far from the worst we’ve ever seen, but when UO say, "You’ll probably either love ’em or…

MakeMe’s drop crotch leggings will make you a fashion criminal

…Fashion Police Report… Filed By: Officer Sys Item: MadeMe Leggings Place of Arrest: Karmaloop.com Accused of: Dropped crotch crime, crazy patterns Other comments: We really didn’t expect to be able to identify this year’s Fashion Crime of the Year as early as March, but we think these win the House Cup for sheer fugliness. Caught in the act of making this poor model look seriously deformed (we’re sure that’s anguish on her face, although she could just be trying to look "cool"), these leggings make us feel uncomfortable just by looking at them. They must be stopped! Sentence: Deportation to the closet of Britney Spears for the term of their natural life. Spotted a Crime Against Fashion? Report it!

Stella McCartney’s floral print jumpsuit: words fail us

Forgive us. We know that lots of you love your jumpsuits, and, indeed, we’re happy to concede that most jumpsuits are not crimes of fashion – or at least, not on this scale, anyway. When Stella McCartney created this jumpsuit, though, God only knows what kind of buyer she had in mind. People who aim never to have sex again, perhaps? Heather Mills? Who knows. All we can say is that even the mannequin has turned her back on the camera, for shame at being seen in this thing. And what’s with the dangly bits under the crotch, Stella? It makes the jumpsuit look like it’s peeing itself, and that’s rarely a good thing, we find. Are you ready for…

Tapered leg trousers: still ugly

Don’t be too alarmed by this picture, gentle readers. Our research leads us to believe that these pants are something of a fashion anomaly – there’s nothing to suggest that the tapered leg/high wait/pleat front combo is making a comeback, and that’s a very good reason to feel thankful, because truthfully, we can’t remember seeing this particular style of trouser look good on anyone, EVER – not even on Five Star, back in the 80s, when the tapered legs were actually popular. Why are Yoox.com expecting people to pay £44 for them now, then? We have no idea. Would you buy them?

Denim leggings: for those days when you just really want to show off your crotch…

Now, before y’all go pointing out that hey, they’re just like REALLY skinny jeans, and ain’t nothing wrong with that, let us just point out one very important point: the pockets. These here denim leggings have pockets on the butt. They’re not real pockets, off course – with fabric as tight as this, pockets aren’t going to be a whole lot of use to you, really – but their very presence tells us that these pockets were designed to be seen. Just to reiterate: these pockets on the back of a pair of DENIM LEGGINGS were designed to be SEEN. It’s starting, folks. The "leggings-worn-without-any-kind-of-crotch-covering" trend is starting. Hold us. [via Fashion Binge]

Jodhpurs with braces. Our hell is complete now.

As far as The Fashion Police are concerned, anything that makes our love handles look like: a) they’re sliding down our legs and b) they could be concealing small children inside them, such is their size, has to be a crime of fashion. This is why we don’t like jodhpurs. And braces? (or "suspenders" if you’re Stateside.) We have no love for the braces, either. For one, there’s just no need for them, and for two, they can lead to excruciating, would-be sexy photoshoots featuring Keira Knightley, and frankly, we feel dirty just thinking about that. These braces, of course, are of the "just for decoration" variety (because, yeah, the hips on those things clearly weren’t big enough already…), which…

Baggy Trousers: Alexander Wang’s pleated pants at Shopbop, with matching baggy jacket

Pleated pants. They’re just all kinds of wrong, aren’t they? And, you know, we get the whole "slouchy, man-style trousers" thing, we really do. But when the trousers are low of crotch and short of length, like these ones? We have to call "Fashion Crime". The thing is, this kind of length is really hard to wear. In fact, we’d argue that it really only works with narrow legs, because if you try to go short and wide, you tend to either end up with weirdly truncated legs, or look like you’re wearing someone else’s pants. Someone else who is a good few inches shorter than you. All of that said, though, we have to give credit to Alexander Wang…

Style on Trial: Treggings – a cross between trousers and leggings

They’re not trousers. They’re not leggings. No, they’re "treggings" – do you see what they did there? Treggings have actually been on the fashion scene for a good few months now, but, assuming they were just a flash in the pan, The Fashion Police didn’t bother to bring them in for questioning. As the months have passed, however, and the treggings have proved to have a longevity that we didn’t expect of them, we’ve brought them before you now to stand in the dock and be judged… The case for the Prosecution: The prosecution puts it to you that these "treggings" are nothing more than leggings which are designed to be worn like trousers – i.e. without the necessity of…

Comme des Garcons apply the ‘badly laddered tights’ effect to trousers

Before we look at this poor model’s Comme des Garcon trousers in any great detail, let’s first of all take a moment to reflect on her good luck in escaping the pack of rapid dogs who clearly attacked her moments before this photo was taken. Those dogs ripped the bottom of her pants clean off, and they got their teeth and claws into the rest of them, too, but somehow she got through it, to stand before us, unbowed. Bravo, that model! Now, let’s talk about the trousers, if we may. What we have here is your basic "ripped tights" effect, a la Alexander Wang at New York Fashion Week. We didn’t like it as applied to hosiery, and we…

Does my bum look big in this?*

Go on, be honest now – it does, doesn’t it? It looks huge. GOD, I knew it! Damn shop assistant was all, "Seriously, harem pants are going to be SO HOT this season, and honestly, they don’t make you look AT ALL like a giant toddler who just filled her diaper. Here, try them on with these chunky heeled shoe boots – perfect!"  Yeah, and not at all unflattering either, eh? Just one question, though: how in the hell are you supposed to walk with all of that excess material between the ol’ legs? And why would you want to? (Pants: 200 euros at Supple. Shoe boots: unknown. Diaper: model’s own.) * Note: that’s not actually MY butt. Obviously. Report…

Harem Pant Hell: La Redoute has got to be kidding us…

When we revealed the results of our Biggest Fashion Crimes of 2007 poll, we got a couple of comments from people who said that they didn’t understand the inclusion of harem pants in the list, because they didn’t think it was even possible to buy these monstrosities any more. All we can say is that these people clearly haven’t been shopping at La Redoute (or, indeed, reading this site before commenting on it, because it’s not like we haven’t highlighted the harem pant crimes every time we’ve stumbled across them), who have persisted in trying to hawk us harem pants for over two years now. Their latest attempt, reported to us by Officer Anne-Marie, involves these white pants that will…

Style on Trial: Religion’s Drape Front Trousers

Every time I look at these Religion drape-front trousers, I’m horribly reminded of saggy, wrinkled skin edging its way down someone’s legs. I say "reminded" – I’ve never actually seen anyone with leg-skin like that, but Religion have cleverly made me imagine it. Thanks, Religion. The tapered leg effect doesn’t do much for me either, it has to be said, buy the "my hips are sliding down my legs effect" of the top half of these pants makes what’s going on at the bottom almost irrelevant. What do you think, Fashion Fans? Should we class these as a Crime of Fashion, or do you think wrinkles are going to be big this year?

Comme des Garcons make giant diapers, people buy them

We’re not sure what’s most surprising about this: the fact that Comme des Garcons made them, the fact that Yoox.com charged £108 for them, or the fact that there were apparently so many people willing to dress as giant babies in them that they’re now sold out. We reckon all these need is a big old safety pin near the waistband and they’ll look like old fashion nappies. Pairing them with stilettos doesn’t change our minds on that one, Yoox. Report crimes of fashion!

Style on Trial: Skorts

Skorts. You know what we mean: from the front, they’re skirts. From the back, however? Shorts! Ain’tt that clever? They’re sort of like the sartorial equivalent of the mullet, except in this case the party’s in the front, while the business is in the back. What do we think of our friends the skorts, though? Are they crimes of fashion, or are they just practical solutions to the ongoing dilemma of what do do when you want to wear an extremely short skirt, but still be able to bend over in it? We call "fashion crime", personally. This is because we have a deep-seated prejudice against items of clothing which pretend to be other items of clothing. This applies to…

Crime of Fashion: La Redoute jump on the ‘drop crotch’ bandwagon

We’ve had words with La Redoute about this before, but those words clearly fell on deaf ears, because as I was browsing through their stock this evening, what should I find, but these. Yes, it’s those drop-crotch pants again: there’s just no getting away from them, is there? These ones are by Kana Beach, who’ve gone for a sporty look with these harem pants. Why, we have no idea: it’s not like you’re going to want to have all of that excess material flapping around between your legs while you’re at the gym, or playing sports, now, is it? Although it would probably be a handy place to store your water bottle, now we come to think of it. These…

Style on Trial: Lace-Trim Leggings

After a bit of a shaky start, The Fashion Police have learned to love like leggings. Not quite as much as Lindsay Lohan loves them, of course, but we will acknowledge that leggings have their place. For us, that place is hidden under boots, rather than being used to flaunt a nasty case of camel toe, but the point is: in the right hands, and with the right outfit, we don’t mind leggings. What we just can’t seem to come to terms with, however, is the lace trim versions, especially when worn, as in this photo from Urban Outfitters, with a tiny denim mini-skirt and white high-top sneakers. Oh, and when they’re fluorescent yellow. Urban Outfitters? The Eighties called. They’d…

Ski Pants Spotted at Topshop

Some of you hate leggings. Some of you hate ski pants. I’m fairly confident that most, if not all of you, will hate the unholy alliance of the two, which has produced this, their bastard offspring: the ski pant legging. Why, Topshop, why? It’s not as if leggings really need a stirrup on the bottom anyway, is it? They tend to be on the clingy side, so there shouldn’t really be any need to prevent them from creeping knee-wards by adding a piece of elastic to the bottom, should there? This is far from the first siting of stirrup pants that’s been reported to us recently, of course. In fact, with the situation starting to spiral out of control, I…

Crimes of Ebay Fashion: Polka Dot Hammer Pants

I don’t know what’s most surprising about this: the fact that someone, somewhere decided that it would be a good idea to make Hammer Pants in mustard yellow with polka dots (with attractive elasticated waist, natch), or the fact that, at the time of writing, this auction has already attracted five bidders. Are there people out there who actually wear this kind of thing, then? Because I’m not sure I even know anyone who’d wear yellow polka dot pants at all, let alone yellow polka dot Hammer Pants. The seller of these fine items points out that while they’re designed for me, women would actually wear them too, if they so desired. Well, thank goodness for that! It’ll be Hammer…

Crime of Fashion: Satin Stirrup Pants from Urban Outfitters

The Fashion Police have examined the evidence presented in this photo, and we duly find Urban Outfitters guilty of the following crimes of fashion: 1. That they did make stirrup pants 2. That they did make SATIN stirrup pants 3. That, rather than tucking said SATIN STIRRUP PANTS into a pair of boots, which would be the only way to render them even vaguely acceptable to The Fashion Police, they did team them with a pair of high heeled court shoes. Conclusion: Guilty as charged, on all three counts. Now, would anyone like to suggest a suitable punishment?