Trousers/Pants

Style on Trial: lace stirrup leggings by Kova & T

According to Shopbop, these are "just the leggings we’ve been waiting for". We really hope they’re speaking for themselves there, because although The Fashion Police have learned to tolerate regular leggings in certain, carefully controlled situations, when we look at the picture above, we can’t help but think Madonna would’ve loved these in her "Desperately Seeking Susan" days, and that’s not a look we’re keen to see come back. Oh, and they have stirrups on the bottom, and in our book, that’s never right. We’re not even going to get into the $110 price tag… Just to test that our reactions to these lace leggings are sounds, however, we’ve decided to put them up On Trial and find out what…

Lindsay Lohan’s leggings and ankle gloves now available at Shop Intuition. Yes, “ankle gloves”…

We first brought you images of Lindsay Lohan’s new leggings line back in May. Since then, we’re sorry to say we still haven’t worked out what the knee pads are for. And we don’t think we want to know. If you have a use for that kind of thing, however, the leggings are now available to buy at Shop Intuition, with prices ranging from $99 – $132. Now, clearly we haven’t seen the leggings in question, so we don’t know what the quality is like, but those kind of prices seem almost like crimes of fashion themselves, don’t you think? How much do you usually pay for leggings? We know we get ours from H&M for less than £5, so…

La Redoute take harem pants to new levels of fugliness

You don’t have to tell us: we know. We know there’s very little on the subject of harem pants that hasn’t already been said by us, but we’re going to repeat the message one more time, just for the benefit of La Redoute, who are becoming repeat offenders on this subject. La Redoute, we just want you to know that the images seen above? Are NOT OK. We repeat: NOT OK. What you’ve essentially done here is taken a pair of ordinary khakis, and a pair of ordinary camouflage pants, and committed a “drop-crotch” crime so terrible it hardly bears looking at. One last time, La Redoute: IT’S NOT OK. Now, we don’t want to have to speak to you…

Super-high waist pants: hopefully not the next big thing…

You all know how we feel about high waist pants. To say they’re no friends of ours would be like saying that hey, Britney didn’t look so good for a while there, hmm? So, all we’re going to say about these full body cover pants by Society of Rational Dress is that we hope they’re not the shape of things to come, because if they are? We really think we might go blind… [via Trendhunter]

Style on Trial: Metallic silver trousers from Topshop

Metallic trousers baffle us. They seem like the kind of thing you could only ever get away with wearing if you were: a) a rock star or b) a visitor from the future So, not exactly the most versatile item of clothing you’ll ever own, then. Topshop are selling these ones for £50, though, and the fact that they’re being sold on the high street makes us wonder if the streets of the UK are about to start looking like the set of some strange sci-fi fantasy, with the sun glinting off thousands of pairs of silver-clad legs. Is this scene about to become a reality? In other words, would you wear these metallic trews, or are they, in fact,…

Crimes of eBay Fashion: Cut out flares

We can only imagine the conflict that must have raged in the mind of the person who designed these trousers. "I really want to wear some funky flares to the club tonight… But I also want to show off as much of my flesh as is humanely possible… What to do? What to do?" These trousers were the result of that light bulb moment when the scissors came out and the diamond cut flares were born. A moment that will live on in infamy indeed…

Style on Trial: Cuff legged pants

Pants with cuffs at the ankles: we’ve always been suspicious of them. Why is this, do you think? Is it because they remind us of harem pants? Is it because they make us think of joggers? Is it just because they’ve managed to give even this perfectly-formed model the illusion of having the cankles from hell? Or is it all of the above? We suspect that last option is the answer, here. The thing is, unless you’re planning on walking through a pit of snakes, or taking part in some other activity in which having beasties crawl up your pants is a very real possibility (If you are, write us!), we just can’t find a whole lot to love about…

Crimes of eBay Fashion: Lace trousers

Fashion Police tip of the day, folks: never search eBay using the keywords "lace trousers". (Yes, we know we did it, but we’re trained professionals, and it’s our job to track down these crimes of fashion for you…) If you do, you’re likely to find something that looks a little bit like the outfit on the left, and that’s just not pretty, is it? Now, ordinarily we would turn a blind eye to this kind of fashion infringement, believing it to be the kind of "specialist" outfit that’s designed only to be worn in the bedroom. (Of course, why you’d want to look like a Fashion Criminal in the bedroom is beyond us, but hey, it’s your sex life.) The…

Draped Bustle Pants: even uglier than harem pants?

You know, sometimes we get bored of having to always buy clothes that flatter our figures and make us look like actual human beings. Sometimes we just want to throw caution to the wind, and buy us some clothes that’ll make us look like we have weird, drapey bits dangling from our hips – and which will make our hips look much bigger than they actually are, into the bargain. Where could we buy some clothes like that, do you think? Oh, of course – eBay. Silly of us to even ask…

Not just harem pants – twisted crotch harem pants

Because sometimes it’s not enough for your crotch to be low – sometimes you want it to be kinda twisted, too. These are by Ann Hagen, and, of course, it could just be the angle of the photograph, but I’m suddenly reminded of being a little girl and getting my tights in a twist when I tried to put them on. Thankfully, I have now learned to dress myself, but I think I’ll steer clear of anything that brings back those uncomfortable memories…

Crime of Fashion: Floral mesh pants set

So, on the plus side, those are some mighty fine abs this model is flashing, aren’t they? Wouldn’t you just kill for those abs? Here’s an interesting dilemma for you, though: if your Fashion Police Fairy Godmother was to wave her magic wand and grant you the abs, on the condition that you had to wear this green floral pants set to show them off, would you still want them? Hmm, those abs are suddenly looking a lot less attractive all of a sudden, aren’t they? Come on then, tell us what it would take to get you into this little beauty? How much would we have to pay you? Or do you like it so much you’d happily hand…

Black Halo turn their Jackie O dress into a romper suit

Remember Black Halo’s Jackie O dress? It was our Dress of the Day on March 25th, and even now The Fashion Police still think fondly of its gorgeous, slim fitting style and Mouret-esque tailoring.  So when we heard that the label had turned the dress into a romper suit, we just didn’t know what to think. Of course, in very general terms, the words "romper suit" are almost guaranteed to terrify us, making is think instantly of the horrifying ‘Dress Like a Toddler Trend’ and the tendency of some grown women to dress like three year olds. This romper suit, however, definitely doesn’t look like something you’d catch a toddler wearing, and while it hasn’t really failed to win us…

Your regular harem pant hit, courtesy of La Redoute

As The Fashion Police were imbibing our first drops of caffeine this morning, and checking up on the fashion criminals currently in our cells, it suddenly occurred to us that hey, it’s been at least a couple of weeks since we last compared harem pants to diapers and illustrated our point with a picture of a woman looking like she needs to get to a bathroom fast. Well, we couldn’t possibly allow harem pants to get off scott free all month, so here you go: La Redoute’s harem pants, on sale for $12.99. And another pair of low-crotch pants join the section of the Fashion Police jail built just for them…

Trousers with built in keyboard: ugly AND impractical!

Have you spotted the design flaw in these pants-with-an-inbuilt-keyboard, folks? The one that will guarantee that while the wearer of these pants may well feel inspired to do a whole lotta typing, they probably won’t actually get much work done? Yes, it’s the cunning "keyboard over the groin" placement, which makes even this apparently innocuous little picture look just a little bit dodgy. Still, at least they’d make work a lot more fun… [via Shiny Shiny]

A jumpsuit we don’t actually hate

Yes, yes, we know what we’ve said in the past about jumpsuits, playsuits and trousers-pretending-to-be-skirts, but the problem with Fashion Policing is that it’s not an exact science. There are exceptions to every single fashion "rule" we can think of, and this would appear to be one of them. It’s ASOS’s sweetheart neckline all-in-one  , and at first glance we actually thought it was a dress, which is perhaps why we like it. We’d like it even more, of course, if it actually was a dress, because unless you’re going somewhere very windy, and have concerns about flashing your knickers, we can’t really think of a good reason for a playsuit to mimic a dress. But at the end of…

Crimes of eBay Fashion: Nu rave harem pants

Every time we think that we’ve seen it all as far as harem pants go, and that the genre can surely sink no further into fug, something comes along so crotch-droppingly hideous that we just have to arrest it instantly – and tell you about it. These "nu rave" harem pants are one such item. While we really can’t argue with the seller’s assertion that they’re "super roomy and really comfortable", because we can see that they’re "super roomy" for ourselves (We have rooms at Fashion Police HQ that are smaller than the crotch on those things, seriously…), we would venture to suggest that this fabric would be hellish on pretty much anything it was applied to. To have used…

Tie dye is taking over! Tie dye trousers by Topshop Unique

We’re rapidly coming to the conclusion that tie-dye brings out the worst in some designers. Having made the decision to use this most horrible of patterns on an item, it’s almost as if they just shrug their shoulders and say, "Screw it – if the colour’s going to be messy, the rest of it may as well be messy too…" So it is with these tie dye trousers by Topshop Unique. While far from the worst example of tie dying we’ve ever seen, the unattractive colour (It’s what mold would look like if mold was blue rather than green) is matched only by the droopy pockets, shapeless legs and suspiciously high waist (or is it a low crotch?). If none…

Crime of Fashion: Rick Owens harem-style pants

Sometimes we wonder if we should just give up our campaign against harem pants. Every day we fight the good fight, trying to help people not look like they just took a dump in their pants, and then someone like Rick Owens comes along and charges £455 for his ‘harem-style pants’ and shows us it was all in vain. Now, we’re not quite sure what’s with the "harem-style" bit of the description here. Because surely these are harem pants, plain and simple? There’s just no "style" about it – and we mean that most literally. We recognise the harem pants by the way the crotch brushes the models knees, and as we recognise these, our mortal enemies, we realise that…