Trousers/Pants

Fashion Trends: seven-eighths trousers, a.k.a. “ankle length”

One thing the fashion world is very good at is making up new names for old clothes, perhaps in the hope that it’ll trick us all into believing the style is something new and different, rather than just the same old, same old. Witness, for instance, the “seven-eighths trouser”, more commonly known as “ankle length” or “ankle grazers”. These are longer than capris but shorter than “regular” trousers, and unlike the peg-legs we featured earlier this month, they don’t have to be tapered, but are generally the same length all the way down. All well and good, but what do you think of them? We have to admit to a certain fondness for this style, although we think it can…

Peggy Noland’s drop-crotch leggings: still Public Enemy # 1

We know we’ve featured Peggy Noland’s drop-crotch leggings before here at The Fashion Police, but every time we find them still being sold somewhere, another little bit of our faith in humanity disappears, so when we discovered the shocking images above at Karmaloop today, we knew our Public Enemy # 1 was still at large. And when we say "large", we’re talking mostly about that crotch… So, at the risk of repeating ourselves, we say to you now, readers: this is NOT OK. Ever. Under any circumstances. Now, let us never speak of this again…

Daylight Robbery: Marc by Marc Jacobs leggings

We should probably begin here by saying that the idea of paying $158 for ANY pair of leggings is anathema to The Fashion Police, because: a) We’re poor b) And slightly stingy c) We know we can buy them for about £5 in H&M d) They’re leggings These ones by Marc Jacobs, however, have surprised us even more, however, because, as well as serving all of the purposes leggings usually serve, these ones will allow you to create the impression that you got yourself a couple of bad leg injuries that’ve had to be bound up nice n’ tight. Is THAT what justifies the $158 price tag, we wonder? Is it the glitter, perhaps? Or is it just the Marc…

Genie Pants: like harem pants, but without the dropped crotch. (Thankfully)

By now you all know where The Fashion Police stand on the harem pants issue: we hate them, and judging by the responses we tend to get to our harem pants posts, many of you (although not all of you) agree with us. What if there was a slightly more palatable version of harem pants, though? One that had all the comfort of the offending pants, but without the appearance of a full diaper hidden beneath the waist? What would you think of those, we wonder? Well, there is: they’re called "genie pants", and they’re basically, wide, cuffed jogging pants. You know, just like genies wear? The ones shown above are by Brochu Walker and are $345 at Shopbop. Now,…

Outfits for the Indecisive: Maison Martin Margiela’s leather trousers/skirt combo

Hey, does anyone here remember a brief trend back in the 90s for trousers that had a skirt attached to them? Anyone? They were just regular, tailored trousers, of the kind you’d wear to an office job, say, but they’d have this little "pelmet" style skirt over the top of them. What did you think of that trend, if you do remember it? We have to say, it wasn’t a look the young Fashion Police were ever into, but if you like to layer, find it hard to choose between trousers and skirts when you’re getting dressed in the morning, and were secretly hoping that trend would make a comeback, your luck could be in. Here’s Maison Martin Margiela’s updated…

Fashion Trends: Peg leg trousers

We touched on this subject earlier this month when we discussed Miss Selfridge’s carrot leg jeans, but we thought the topic was worth revisiting because there’s more than just a single pair of jeans involved here, folks. Those so-called “carrot legs” weren’t just a one off: the more popular current term for the style is the “peg leg”, and this “peg leg” is being touted by the fashion press as “the look of the season”. So, what do we think of it? Well, in reference to the jeans, we called it the “mom” jean. It’s basically a tapered, cropped leg, topped off by a generally pleated front, with some volume around the hips. It’s the “volume around the hips” bit…

Future Classics lumpy-leg trousers: presumably they look better on…

To be fair, judging by the picture of these jodhpur-style trousers on the mannequin (see it here), they actually do look better on than they do in this picture, which, quite frankly, makes them look deformed. Now, we have a few easy rules when it comes to buying clothes, and one of them is that if the item looks like it has some seriously saggy hips and knees even when it’s not being worn, it’s probably not going to flatter us. Let’s face it, we need all the help we can get here, after all: we’re looking for clothes that’ll help hide our lumps and bumps, not create new ones, and while we understand that may be an "edgy" and…

The Emperor’s New Leggings

"Why are they showing us a picture of a model in a sweater when the title refers to leggings?" you’re wondering. "Where are the leggings? We were promised leggings and we want leggings, dammit!" Take a closer look. Yup, they’re sheer leggings. Leggings that are… all but invisible to the naked eye. And you know what we’re going to ask now, don’t you? Yes, we’re going to ask, WHY? Why would you need such things? They won’t offer much in the way of warmth, you can’t really see them, and, to be perfectly honest, we think these could be in with a good chance of winning the Most Pointless Item of Clothing in the Whole World Ever award, if such…

Drop Crotch Crimes: Denim “bloomers” from Cheap Monday

Aww, would you look at that, folks, it’s baby’s first power suit! Only problem is, these “bloomers” by Cheap Monday aren’t for “baby” – they’re for you. Yes, you. And as if the elasticated hems, dropped crotch and general “I’m totally wearing a diaper underneath these” appearance of them isn’t bad enough, we’re just totally confused by the fact that this model is wearing them with a smart pair of dress pumps, of the sort you’d wear to the office. Why would you do this, we wonder? Is it some strange twist on Casual Friday? ‘Bring Your Bloomers to Work’ Day? An office where bathroom breaks are forbidden? Or just another drop crotch fashion crime? You decide. We’re too busy…

Leopard print tracksuit from River Island tests Fashion Police patience

You know, we’re starting to think we’ve been too lenient in the past when it comes to animal print clothing. The problem with these borderline fashion crimes is that if you give them an inch they’ll always end up trying to take the proverbial mile, and we’d hate to think our tolerant stance on the issue of leopard print shoes and accessories (and lets be honest here – we’re not just tolerant towards them: we love ’em) has been instrumental in the creation of this leopard print velour tracksuit from River Island. Just to be clear here: we’re not all that keen on velour tracksuits at the best of times, but we don’t think leopard print versions are ever OK….

Harem Horrors: Dorothy Perkins’ black droopy jumpsuit

Oh my. What the hell happened here, Dotty P? We’re slowly getting used to the sight of harem pants cropping up (or dropping down, as the case may be) here, there and just about everywhere this season, but this jumpsuit doesn’t just have a (slightly) dropped crotch, it appears to have dropped hips, too. "WHY?" is our immediate question? Because this appears to come with love-handles and stretch marks already built-in, and that just… well, it doesn’t seem like it would be the most flattering item of clothing you’d ever own, does it? It’s basically a Saggy-Skin Suit, and we can see no sense in that at all. Are we wrong, readers? Do you think you could make this outfit…

The L.A. Legs Leggings – wear a map on your butt

Ever got lost in L.A.? Planning a trip there? Don’t forget to take a map, then – and what better way to make sure you always know where to go than by actually wearing that map on your butt and legs? (Well, there is SatNav….) Of course, from a distance you’re probably going to look like you just have lots of really visible veins on your naked legs – some of them red ones – and you’re going to have to decide whether that’s something you can live with. If it is, these are $64 from Karmaloop. Personally, we think we’ll just stick to the SatNav…

How not to wear leopard print

Our rule of thumb regarding animal print is that a little goes a long way. A very long way. Another rule of thumb we’ve adopted recently is that animal print should never be pink. Or indeed, any bright colour that animals themselves wouldn’t wear. Just for the hell of it, let’s add another rule to that mix. Let’s say animal print should stay the hell away from your thighs. It may seem arbitrary, we know, but animal print on thighs… it just doesn’t seem like such a great idea to us, you know? By following rules, we believe it is possible to wear animal print responsibly. It won’t be possible to wear these pink, leopard print capris from River Island,…

Shant Spotting: Sheer pants by Ann Demeulemeester

Remember last season, when every second designer seemed to be sending models in sheer pants down the runways, and all we ever heard from the fashion press was how sheer clothes were going to be, like, SO HOT this year? Remember how that didn’t actually happen, on account of the fact that most people were just too damn sensible to want to go out in public with their underwear on display? Yeah, us too. We’d actually started to think shants were just a myth. No one was wearing them after all, and none of the stores seemed to be selling them (or none of the ones we frequent, anyway), and so it was that The Fashion Police started to breathe…

Tailored harem pant crimes on the rise, Dries Van Noten is latest culprit

What’s this? More tailored harem pants? Oh, say it ain’t so! We thought the ASOS crime was a fluke, a one-off, a never-to-be-repeated crime of fashion, but no, it seems that the dropped crotch is like the serial killer of the fashion world, and here it is popping up – or rather, dropping down – on these Dries Van Noten wool trousers. Admittedly, the dropped-crotch element of these creations isn’t quite as extreme as some we’ve seen, but it still ain’t pretty, and like the lace stirrup leggings and hooded all-in-one before it, we find ourselves wondering: where the hell would you wear them? Other than to the Fashion Police jail, obviously…

Tailored harem pants: just as bad as regular harem pants, maybe worse

Look, if you absolutely must wear harem pants (and we’ll be honest, we can’t think of a single situation in which a dropped crotch would suddenly become a "must". Or maybe we just don’t want to), we reckon they should be soft and slouchy: the kind of thing you’d wear for lounging around the house or, at a push, on holiday. These ones, though? These ones are tailored. Yes, tailored harem pants. That would imply they’re meant to be worn in formal, or semi-formal situations, like work and things like that. We think that’s all kinds of wrong. Do you?

Daylight Robbery: Alexander McQueen’s tailored all-in-one

£1,045. One. Thousand. And. Forty. Five. British. Pounds. Or, to put it another way, $2984 US. That’s how much it’ll cost you to buy Alexander McQueen’s tailored all-in-one, and even assuming that the tailoring is second-to-none (which it probably is) and the fabric (50% acetate, 50% viscose, in case you were wondering) the last word in luxury, we’re still looking at a plain black jumpsuit here. One which has the faintest suspicion of the "dropped crotch" about it, too. Is it worth £1045? We’re going to go with "no", here. Even putting our inbuilt dislike of jumpsuits aside for the moment, and acknowledging that this piece is simple enough to be made to work, it’s still just a rather ordinary…

Wear or Die: Animal Instincts

The Fashion Police have noticed that a lot of our readers don’t like animal print. This is a shame, because guess what we have for you to try on for this week’s Wear or Die? Did you guess "animal print"? Good guess! Yes, today your choice is between the leopard print leggings on the left, or the dress on the right, which seems to used the prints of quite a few animals to create this, umm, "unique" effect. Poor animals. And poor you, because, according to the rules of the game, if you don’t choose one of these items to wear, you die! Which leaves our only remaining question: which item will you choose?