Trousers/Pants

selection of fashionable boiler suits

Trend Trial: Boiler Suits

“The boiler suit trend”: now THERE are some words we hoped never to have to write. It’s happened, though. Boiler suits are being deemed a “hot trend” for the summer, which means we find ourselves in the expected position of having to ask you… Boiler suits, ASOS Before we looked at these images, we’d automatically have dismissed boiler suits, not as a crime of fashion, necessarily, but as something we would never want to wear. (Unless we were actually, you know, boiling…) After looking at the images, however… we’re STILL dismissing them as something we’d never, ever want to wear. Especially the denim version, which is just too ‘Dexy’s Midnight Runners’ for words. You are not us, though, and for…

leggings

Closet Heroes: Leggings

A closet hero is an item of clothing which, once purchased, quickly becomes indispensable to its owner. Here at TFP, we don’t believe that there are particular items which “every woman” should own: we’re all too different to need or want exactly the same clothes. We do, however, believe that most people have their own closet heroes, and in this regular column, we’ll be sharing some of ours: and hopefully some of yours, too…. Leggings: ASOS If you’d told us a few years ago that we’d one day be describing leggings – LEGGINGS – as a “closet hero”, we’d probably have laughed in your face. Actually, though, we weren’t the least bit surprised when they came up in the list of suggestions…

Crime of Fashion? Spiked cutout leggings from Forever 21

A couple of days ago, this suggestion popped into our ASK.fm inbox: Well, your wish is our command, so… Leggings, £14.95, Forever 21 Um, yeah. We honestly don’t know what’s strangest about these leggings: the fact that they have cut-outs at the knees (and ONLY at the knees), or the fact that those cut-outs are surrounded by spikes, making the knees in question look like they’re inside some kind of strange, Venus fly-trap… try to touch them and those spiked jaws will slam shut, probably cutting off your finger in the process. Or that’s what WE think when we look at them, anyway. We’ve had a LOT of caffeine already this morning, though. A LOT of caffeine. We’re obviously very…

60s-style floral jumpsuit

Would you wear… Moschino’s 60s-style jumpsuit?

So, 60s style is back in fashion, just in case you hadn’t noticed. And while some brands are choosing to embody the spirit of the 60s in a fairly subtle way –  a mini skirt here, a graphic print there, a pair of clumpy platform shoes everywhere – others are taking a far more literal approach: This is by Moschino, it’s £852 (about $1,300), and, well, it’s a whole lot of look, to put it mildly. A whole lot of look that we really can’t imagine anyone pulling off, outside of a costume party.  If you actually WERE going to a costume party, of course, this would be awesome (Or it would be if it was as cheap as any…

harem shorts with one leg longer than the other

Puzzling Pants: Help us solve these trouser mysteries…

Some of them are straight-up ugly, and some are just plain… strange. Here’s a quick round-up of some of the most puzzling pants Yoox.com currently has to offer: your assistance in helping us solve the mystery of why these exist and who’s actually buying them would be very much appreciated… Guess by Marciano harem shorts, £120 We’ve always said that if an item of clothing looks like a ready-made wardrobe malfunction it’s probably a crime of fashion. These shorts make the model look like she’s got some unfortunate kind of “clothing tucked into knickers” thing going on, which, apart from LOOKING bad, must just be SO uncomfortable. Wouldn’t it feel odd, walking around with one trouser leg hiked up to…

Closet Heroes: Skinny black pants

Thanks to all of your suggestions on our first Closet Heroes post, we now have a growing list of awesome items to feature. We’ll be doing our best to work our way through as many “hero” items as we can, but today we’re focusing on a suggestion from Fashion Police reader Spiky, which we just so happen to wholeheartedly agree with: skinny black pants. Spiky said: “I work in an office environment, and for me it’s my skinny black pants. I get the Really Skinny trousers from Gap.” It’s definitely true that these trousers can be indispensable for those who have a formal or semi-formal working environment, and need to look smart every day, but skinny black pants can be adapted…

You want fries with those leggings?

Nothing hits the spot quite like a good ol’ burger and fries, does it? You know what they say about fatty, fried, food, though: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! And in this case, those fries you just ate will  LITERALLY appear on your hips! Both items: ASOS Do you love junk food enough to actually WEAR it, officers? Because we’d take the ACTUAL burger off your hands, sure, but when it comes to getting dressed, we’d rather clothe ourselves in something else. Like, oh, we don’t know, maybe popcorn? Everyone loves popcorn, right? Especially this girl: In fact, this girl loves popcorn so much it makes her want to jump for joy: Sweatshirt & leggings:…

three pairs of printed trousers

Three Things: Printed trousers

Forever 21 // Topshop // Zara Printed trousers appeared on the style scene a couple of seasons ago, and while some of you loved them, and were more than happy to pledge allegiance to our new printed pant overlords, others were reluctant to accept that they’d be expected to walk around with patterned legs all summer long. We understand both points of view, but in recent months we’ve found ourselves coming down in favour of the printed trousers. They make a nice change from jeans, and if you find the right print they can also be a slightly warmer alternative to skirts and dresses on those chilly summer days we tend to get here in the frozen north of the UK….

black leggings with padded sections on legs

Crime of Fashion: Robot leggings

We thought the fringe leggings we arrested this morning would be the worse thing we’d have to show you today, but then we stumbled across these at Nasty Gal, and thought for a moment that it was April 1st all over again: This is no joke though, officers: those really are a pair of black leggings with knee-holes. Oh yeah, AND THE REST. “The rest” in this case takes the form of those strange, silver padded sections attached to the legs: Nasty Gal call them “robot leggings”. Which is certainly one way to describe them, although we’re sure you can think of others. They even managed to distract us from the shoes, and that’s no mean feat. While we’re on…

Fringe leggings, revisited

We’ve discussed the existence of fringe leggings before, but we figured these ones deserved a special mention, not just because of the leggings themselves, but because of the styling of the whole outfit: They’re basically My Little Pony’s leggings, aren’t they? As in, if My Little Pony ever decided to wear clothes, multicloured pastel print leggings with manes of their own would probably be high on its wish list. These Bitching & Junkfood creations were presumably high on someone else’s wish list, too, because they seem to have sold out at ASOS, despite their bes efforts to put people off, by styling them with a fishnet top, neon bra, and chunky platform boots, which are either made by Jefferey Campbell…

sheer pants with cabbage patch print

Peculiar Pants and other Opening Ceremony delights

Love peculiar pants? Buy these ones here. The product description describes these as “pajama pants”. If that’s the case, then it certainly explains the see-through quality, and also means that we can’t arrest them for crimes of fashion: they get off on the technicality that they’re designed to be worn only in the bedroom (Or possibly in Tesco, depending on how you’re feeling that day), which is outwith our jurisdiction. If they’re supposed to be PJs, though, that may explain the sheerness, but it DOESN’T explain the $485 price tag, unless we’re to assume these are, in fact. the Emperor’s New Pyjama pants. Do people seriously pay $500 for PJs? Really? Because, you know, we’re all for people being able…

leggings with animal print and sheer panels

Possibly the ugliest leggings in the world.

We normally save the fashion crimes until our regular Friday roundup, but we strongly suspect these leggings of being the ugliest leggings  we’ve ever seen, and we need your go-ahead to lock them up and throw away the key. Here’s the evidence: What do you think, jurors? Are these a crime of fashion… or is that the stupidest question you’ve heard all year? [Buy them]

The Ugliest Pants of 2012

Pants. They’re one of the easiest and most comfortable items of clothing to wear, but for reasons which continue to elude us, they’re also one of the easiest items for fashion designers to completely and utterly screw up. From making them completely see-through, to adding crotches which trail along the floor as you walk, the world of ugly pants is a huge and baffling one. Our Ugly Pants file is by far the largest in the Fashion Police HQ, and today we share with you some of the highlowlights of the year just gone. For your viewing displeasure, we’ve included some shorts and jumpsuits in this selection too. You’re welcome! You’ll find the original arrest reports here, should you wish…

drop-crotch suit

What Not to Wear to the Office

Grey wool trousers with a matching, fitted suit jacket sounds like a very office-appropriate kind of outfit, doesn’t it? These pants, though… don’t. In fact, these pants don’t really strike us as appropriate for ANYWHERE, really. On the plus side, at least you can leave the handbag at home and carry everything you need for the day in the crotch. OK, it’s not much of a “plus side”, to be honest. If you can think of another one, we’d love to hear it: after all, there has to be SOME reason people would pay £353 for these, surely? [Buy them]  

skirt pants

Skants: half skirt, half pants

“Skirt-like trousers”, says the product description. “Skants”, says The Fashion Police. Because under the same logic which dictates that a sheer dress is a “shress” and sheer pants are “shants”, it stands to reason that skirt-pants must be “skants”. There’s absolutely nothing else about this garment that stands to reason, unfortunately. Why would you need to look like you were wearing a maxi skirt from the front, but trousers from behind? Why would you pay $777 to do it? We’d love to know… [Buy it]

deliberately creased clothes

Crime of Fashion: Deliberately creased clothing

Deliberately creased clothes: we hate them almost as much as we hate gladiator sandals. We’re not sure if the shoes in this photo could technically be described that way, but we ARE sure the shorts are as creased as all get out: We just want to hold her down and iron her, don’t you? Or DO you? Is it just us nursing this powerful hatred for expensive clothing which is designed to look like it’s already been very well worn? If it is, you can buy everything in this outfit at Acne…

nasty gal fringed shorts

Double the Crime, Double the Time: fringed shorts and caged bustier

Nasty Gal have helpfully suggested two different ways you might wear this caged bustier of theirs. One will make you look like you’re out in your underwear (with added boob underhang!), the other will simply make you look like you got dressed in the dark: it’s up to you to decide which would be the lesser of the two evils. However you choose to wear this outfit, though, we just don’t think the bustier is going to deflect attention away from the shorts. Which, with that amount of fringing, that close to crotch level, make it look like a trip to the waxing salon is long overdue for this poor model. You can’t un-see it now, can you? [Buy it]

ugly leggings

Nice n’ kneesy: Issey Miyake’s £230 leggings

You know all those times when your legs are too cold, but your shins are just BOILING? No, us neither. Someone, somewhere must be experiencing those odd weather conditions, though, otherwise these Issey Miyake leggings wouldn’t exist. Or cost £230. Anyone want to suggest a solution to this mystery? [Buy them]

unflattering pants

When animal print and drop-crotch collide

We’re not saying sheer, animal-print harem pants with ties at the ankles are ALWAYS crimes of fashion, but… Actually, you know what? We ARE saying that. We totally are. But of all of the sheer, animal-print harem pants in the world (and there’s a frighteningly large amount of them), we think these ones may well be the worst. As proof of this, we’d like to submit the following into evidence: Well, would YOU want your crotch area to look like this? The prosecution rests. [Buy them]