The Emperor’s New strass tulle jumpsuit

Well, looky here, everyone: it seems our old friend the Emperor has gotten herself a simply FABULOUS new jumpuit! Can you see it?

see through jumpsuit with strass crystals

This cost the Emperor no less than £2375, so it MUST be good, mustn’t it? And if you have any doubts that it’s good, let us quell them by pointing out that IT’S DESIGNER. Every good fashion victim knows that DESIGNER = GOOD, so it’s just a shame that this particular piece of art could only ever be worn (at least in the manner shown above) in the privacy of your own home, because if you’re going to spend that much money on a tulle jumpsuit, you’re going to want people to see it, aren’t you? The visible seams! The visible underwear! All of those tiny strass crystals:

Well, if you’re going to go to the trouble of putting tiny crystals all over an item of clothing, it may as well be a totally sheer jumpsuit, no?

Oh, and just in case it isn’t obvious, yes, all of the above is sarcasm. We’re as mystified as ever by the existence of garments like this one. Who buys them? For what purpose? And even if you DID have a spare £2375 down the back of the couch, would this be the best possible use for it, do you think? Couldn’t you find/make something similar, if you really, really needed it (WHY?) for much less than that? Which, we guess, brings us right back to the question of why, in the wide world, you would ever, ever need such an item? To wear over something else? To wear UNDER something else? WHAT?

If you can solve this mystery, please do, so we can update our case files accordingly. Until then, we’ll file this one under Daylight Robbery and hope the Emperor comes to her senses soon…

Buy it here 


  • August 21, 2013


    Wow, you can look just as trashy for way less money.

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  • August 28, 2013


    Apparently there are entertainers out there willing to wear…almost nothing.

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