Skirts

Fashion Police for the Boys: The Utilikilt

Despite being based in Scotland, The Fashion Police do not count themselves amongst those women who go weak at the knees over Men in Kilts. Our reasons for this are twofold: 1. Kilts are made of tartan. The Fashion Police have no love for the tartan, the Clashy McClash thing it is. 2. Most men don’t know how to wear skirts.It’s true. You see, we women know that you move and sit differently in a skirt or dress than you do in a pair of trousers, say. It’s like one of those instinctual, feminine things we’re all born with. Men, however, do not know this. So if you ever go to a Scottish wedding, you’ll see a lot of men…

Denim Skirts: What do you think of them?

This week I’ve been reading Hadley Freeman’s excellent book, The Meaning of Sunglasses (which we’ll be reviewing next week sometime). In the book, Hadley makes the observation that, with a few notable exceptions, denim is really best kept for jeans. I think I’d have to agree, particularly in reference to these denim skirts, which are new in at Miss Selfridge this week. A well-cut denim mini skirt I can just about handle, in certain situations, and on certain people. Denim skirts like these ones, though – well, for some reason they’re making me think of bleached blonde permed hair (with the roots showing) worn with neon coloured "scrunchies", huge fake nails, white frilly ankle socks and trainers. I have no…

Prada’s ‘Bare Butt’ skirt at Milan A/W 08. Nice.

Designed for those occasions when you’re going somewhere a bit posh, so you decide to wear a ladylike pencil skirt and heels, but then decided that you really, really want to show your naked ass to everyone you walk by, Prada bring us this black skirt, complete with "Butt Window".  We’re immediately declaring this to be a Crime of Fashion of the highest order. But we’d like to thank Prada for the laugh it gave us when we first laid eyes upon it. Also: does it look to anyone else like the model in this picture is crossing her fingers, thinking "Dear Lord, I hope The Fashion Police don’t arrest me in this"? Or maybe that’s her middle finger, and…

Jellyfish skirt. Words fail us.

Here’s a handy style tip for you, courtesy of The Fashion Police: if it’s not instantly obvious what an item of clothing actually is, it’s probably a crime of fashion. When we first laid eyes on this skirt, for instance, we believed it to be a jellyfish, or, at the very least, some kind of artistic rendering of one of those creepy, many tentacled creatures that live in the deep.  The fact that it’s designed to be worn by goths does nothing to convince us that it won’t suddenly wrap those tentacles around us and squeeze us to death, either. Report Crimes of Fashion!

Christopher Kane’s denim skirt leaves Fashion Police feeling ruffled

In the wrong hands, ruffles can be very dangerous when applied to clothes. You have to tread very carefully with them: more carefully than, say, Christopher Kane, who has created here what’s not so much a denim skirt but more of a pair of frilly pants. And as if the words "frilly pants" weren’t bad enough, he’s made them in denim. The blurb on the Browns website assures us that this is, indeed, a skirt. Sadly, the picture of it on the mannequin seems to suggest otherwise – and the fact that said mannequin is also wearing a see-through shirt doesn’t really help, does it?

Style on Trial: Skorts

Skorts. You know what we mean: from the front, they’re skirts. From the back, however? Shorts! Ain’tt that clever? They’re sort of like the sartorial equivalent of the mullet, except in this case the party’s in the front, while the business is in the back. What do we think of our friends the skorts, though? Are they crimes of fashion, or are they just practical solutions to the ongoing dilemma of what do do when you want to wear an extremely short skirt, but still be able to bend over in it? We call "fashion crime", personally. This is because we have a deep-seated prejudice against items of clothing which pretend to be other items of clothing. This applies to…