The shape of skirts to come? Pannier skirt from River Island

We should probably begin this post by pointing out that the skirt you see before you doesn't have ACTUAL panniers in it to make it stick out at the hips like that. Or not so far as we know, anyway. It just looks like it does, which may be almost as bad, depending on your point of view. This style of skirt is slowly gaining prominence in the fashion word at the moment, and you've probably noticed some examples here on this very site. You should expect to see even more of them in the stores soon, because skirts with giant hips are being touted as one of the "big" (no pun intended) looks for this winter. One the one…

Impostor Clothing Alert: the skirt that wanted to be a shirt and tie

By now our regular readers will be well aware of The Fashion Police position on clothes-that-are-pretending-to-be-other-clothes: these items are dastardly impostors, and we've rarely met an impostor item we didn't want to arrest. It will come as no surprise, then, to learn that a skirt that's pretending to be a tuxedo would cause us to raise our eyebrows, if not our handcuffs. What really surprises us about this skirt, however, is the fact that it's on sale for £10. Surely it's not worth that much?

Guest Post: The Plaid Drape Skirt by Rojas

 This guest post was submitted by Ashley Reiner. Ashley writes…    Not new to The Fashion Police by any means, Rojas has done it again.  What they call a “drape skirt,” in fact looks like leftover fabric stuck to the sides of the skirt. Which leaves us to wonder: who on earth would this look flattering on?  No one, that’s who.  Even those with flawless bodies will still risk looking like they have fat deposits only on their hips.But, if you’re still not convinced, then you can find this picnic cloth skirt for $80 at Karmaloop.     Author Bio: Ashley Reiner is currently a fashion design student in Houston, Texas.  Saying she has a love for fashion would be…

Style On Trial: Open cage skirt by Boutique at Topshop

Cage skirts have been hugely popular across the fashion blogosphere over the last couple of years, and in the "real world" too, if this £45 cage skirt by Topshop Boutique is anything to go by: it sold out within a couple of days, so presumably there are lots of people currently walking around wearing one of these. What we want to know is, are you one of them? This skirt is, of course, much less alarming than it may look at first glance, because it's supposed to be worn over something else (leggings, other skirts, etc) rather than by itself, although we wouldn't be AT ALL surprised to see some people try and wear it on its own. Yes, Lady…

River Island, New Look and the mysterious case of the ruffled bow skirt

OK. Now, we have no idea who came up with this design first, but we think we're going to have to place both River Island and New Look on a warning here, because seriously. Seriously. Is it just us, or do these look like lampshades from a particularly cheap bordello? If we absolutely had to wear one of these, we think we'd go for the New Look version which, at £20, is £10 cheaper than River Island's attempt, and also much less.. ruffled. We're just going to cross our fingers, though, and hope nothing DOES happen to force us to wear one of these: what about you?

Commes des Garcons balloon skirt: for when you want to look like a ball with legs

 Do not adjust your sets, readers, this is not just a large, black dot, it is, in fact, a skirt. And as such, it's in clear contravention of Section 6 of The Fashion Police Code: the section which states that items of clothing should not be able to have the word "balloon" used to describe them. Ever. If you're thinking it might look better on, though, let us disabuse you of that belief with the image you'll find under the jump…

Fashion Trends: Hitch hem dresses and skirts

Remember hems? Remember when they were straightforward and unfussy? Those days are gone. These days we sometimes struggle to find dresses that don't have what's known as a "hitched" hemline – something you can see illustrated in the image above. The hitch skirt or dress is a close relation of the puffball: it creates a skirt with a lot of volume, and a much "rounder" shape than most other styles, although all hitched dresses are not created equal, and some are more "hitched" than others – as you can also see above. What does everyone think of this trend? Is it a welcome change from boring old straight hems, or is it too close to the puffball for comfort? Tell…

Fringed Fashion Crimes: Romance Was Born Snowflake Fringed Skirt

Aha, so this is where Pocahontas buys her clothes these days! Two things about this: 1. If you look closely, you'll see that the part of this skirt that actually IS a skirt, as opposed to long fronds of material, extends only to just below the crotch line. So if you want to preserve your modesty AT ALL in this, you're going to have to either wear it on top of something else or just really, really hope a stray breeze doesn't come along and lift your skirt. 2. Who wears sensible black court shoes with their multi-fringed, dip-dyed skirt? Seriously, WHO? And that's without even mentioning the fact that it's a multi-fringed, dip-dyed skirt. Oh no, wait, we kinda…

Hips Don’t Lie: People Tree’s Embroidered Waist Dotty Skirt

"Cassie wondered why she always seemed to be able to clear a room in mere seconds. Then she realised her hips were effectively shooing everyone out of the way. And terrifying them." Of course, this People Tree skirt does have its advantages, too. If you were feeling particularly antisocial, say, this would be a great choice of outfit, because no one would dare to get in the way of those hips. For every crime of fashion, a silver lining…

Daylight Robbery: Fendi’s mesh crinoline with leather seams

Given that the product description on eLuxury states that this Fendi crinoline is meant to be worn over a "narrow dress", we're not going to book it for Crimes of Fashion – although, that said, worn as demonstrated on the mannequin above (and also suggested by eLuxury as an acceptable way to wear it) we'd really have no choice. Instead, we're merely going to ask why it needs to cost $590? Because, we know it has leather seams, but even so, is anyone else seeing a fancy underskirt here? Anyone?

Armand Basi and the alarming tulip skirt

  We're happy to admit we're partial to tulip skirts, and we're not even averse to clothes with slightly exaggerated hips, which can cut a nicely dramatic silhouette and be something of a blessing to those of us born without hips of our own. We think Armand Basi has taken it too far with this one, though. This is clearly a "one size fits all", and by that we mean "all at the same time". We reckon we'd easily fit our whole family under those hips, which would be handy if it started to rain, we guess, but could also get us into trouble with store security guards, who will suspect us of smuggling out stock underneath our skirts. Because the…

Style on Trial: Narciso Rodriguez Charmeuse silk striped skirt

  Ooh-er! This skirt gave us quite a turn when first we laid eyes on it, over at Net-a-Porter: in fact, we had our citation pads out and we were all ready to swoop in and make an arrest, when it hit us: this skirt is not what it appears to be. You see, at first glance we’d assumed it was fashioned entirely out of thin strips of fabric, so your body underneath those strips would be left completely exposed. And, well, you know what some of those celebrities are like: if a skirt like that were available, we just know some of them would jump at the chance of wearing it,and NOT ON OUR WATCH is all we can…

Daylight Robbery: Miu Miu’s ‘urban apron’ skirt

 At first glance, we thought this was a little boat-necked top. We were wrong:  Yes, it's an apron. And, OK, aprons are fine. They're, you know, handy for those times when you're cooking or cleaning and you want to protect your regular clothes from dirt. That's not what this one is for, though. No, this is an URBAN apron. Which apparently means you're meant to wear it outside the house. Oh, and to pay £272 / $379 for it. Uh-huh. We'd say that makes it a classic example of Daylight Robbery, because even supposing we DID want to wear aprons in public – and, just to be clear, we DON'T – we really can't imagine paying that much for one….

Under Fashion Police Arrest: Sheer skirt by Comme des Garcons

  We never did decide what a sheer skirt should be called, did we? We know sheer dresses are "shresses" and sheer pants are "shants", so should sheer skirts be called "shkirts", we wonder? Or should we just stick to calling them "crimes of fashion", which is, after all, what they are? This one by Comme des Garcons isn't quite as see-through as some we've seen, which means it will allow your legs and butt to look like they're in disguise – and really, who could blame them if they were? This is £174 from, which we reckon makes this a case of Daylight Robbery, too. So there you go, that's three things we could call sheer skirts

Style on Trial: Antipodium Don’t Sleeve Me Skirt

These are tough financial times, folks. In fact, the economic situation is getting so dire we feel there’ll soon be no choice but to start tying a couple of shirts around our waists and calling them a “skirt”, in a bid to beat the credit crunch. Or, of course, we could just forget that, and spend $320 on two shirts that have ALREADY been tied together to create a skirt. It won’t get you quite as many brownie points from the Frugal Fairies, of course, but it’ll save you getting the sewing machine out. Then again, you COULD just save your money altogether, and not bother with the whole “shirts-as-skirt” scenario. Unless you like this look of course? Do you? And if so, do you…

Zucca Black Jumper Skirt a.k.a. ‘The Diaper Skirt’

Just in case harem pants and their various offspring weren’t doing enough to remind us of diapers, this skirt by Zucca should have people looking at you pityingly and asking if you’ve had “a little accident” in no time flat. It’s $227 reduced from $569. Actual diapers, on the other hand, cost much less, and you can always dye them!

Would you wear…Topshop’s sequin lightening strike skirt?

The sequins. The lightening. The shortness. This is the type of skirt that shouts “look at me!” and it’s definitely not one for shy and retiring types. Which brings us to the question: would you wear it? And if so, what would you wear it with? It’s from Topshop, and it’s no longer in stock on the website, but if you love it, you may be able to find it in store. Do you want to, though?

Save or Splurge: Prada-esque lace skirts on the high street

Remember all those lace skirts Prada sent down the runway last season? Well, those were pretty see-through, but a little bit of flesh-coloured lining makes the look perfectly wearable, and that’s something the high street has cottoned onto, producing a similar look, but with added modesty. Neither of the two skirts above are what you might call outrageously priced, but the Principles version on the right is still more than twice the price of Next’s skirt on the left, leaving us to ask: which one would you go for? Would you save or splurge? Or would you wear neither?

Skirts: how short is too short?

Putting aside for the moment the fact that Danielle Lloyd here (she’s a British glamour model, for those of you unfamiliar with her boobs, sorry, we mean face…) is ruthlessly flouting the "short skirt OR completely see-through top" rule of fashion in this photo, we want to ask you about her skirt. In fact, we want to ask you about skirts in general. How short is "too short", do you think? Is there such a thing, or does it all very much depend on the age/shape/attitude of the wearer, or on what they happen to be wearing the short skirt with at the time? Do you draw the line at a particular length, or are you happy to go as…