Skirts

Half Skirt

Strange Skirts: Aqua jumps on the bandwagon

Aqua are becoming serial offenders in the real of Strange Skirts: and Strange Other Items, too, to be perfectly honest. We think they’ve outdone themselves with this Half Maxi/Half Mini, though. Come on, Aqua, make your minds up! Surely no one is THIS indecisive? Look, even the model is starting to get all huffy: Not content with a skirt that will leave one leg out in the cold, however, Aqua continued the strangeness with this Shirt-With-a-Tail: They call it a “dress”. We call it “what a Fashion Criminal Superhero would wear, if there actually were Fashion Criminal Superheroes. Which there isn’t: there are only villains in the world of Fashion Criminals.” And just to prove that we’re not totally biased against dresses…

Dogtooth print pencil skirt

Top Ten: Pencil Skirts

Ah, the humble pencil skirt! It’s a true fashion classic, and we’re very glad about that, because the pencil skirt is a Fashion Police favourite, which adds a touch of sophistication to just about any outfit. We’re particularly glad to see so many of them around this winter: it would be wrong to call the current range of pencil skirts a “trend”, because it’s a look that never really gets old, but if it’s a look that you love, you’ve no doubt been finding it a whole lot easier to create it recently, thanks to the many pencil skirts, in every conceivable colour and print, which have been flooding the high street. (Special credit here to Topshop and River Island…

Two tone skirts by Zara and Dries Van Noten

Designer Vs High Street: Two-tone skirts by Dries Van Noten and Zara

Good old Zara! The Spanish chain comes to the rescue once again, helping us save £478, were we in the market for a two-toned skirt with white panels at the front and black ones at the side. If we WERE looking for such a thing, we could buy it from Dries Van Noten. It would cost us £504, though, so we have to admit, we’d be much more likely to head to Zara, spend £25.99 and still have enough left for a top and shoes to wear with it, and maybe some lunch while we were out. The Zara skirt is currently sold out on the website, but can be found on eBay (where you can probably expect to pay…

Style on Trial: Feathered mini skirts from Zara

Something we’ve noticed in our years of Fashion Policing, is that most people love feathered mini skirts. Witness: (Feathered skirts, £79.99: click here to buy them) You’re already poised to tell us how much you adore these, aren’t you? So today, we’re asking you to explain the appeal. Because while many of our readers think feathered skirts are the cat’s pyjamas, we, on the other hand, tend to think they’re almost as comical as cat’s pyjamas. Seriously, you’re seeing fun, “edgy” fashion here, but we’re just seeing the skinned hydes of Elmo and Grover: Fashion Icons, 2011 We’re also seeing the glimmerings of a Halloween costume idea, but we don’t want to pay £80 for the privilege, which is what one…

Easy Fashion DIY: Marc Jacobs patent pencil skirt

Want to get this high-fashion look on a budget? Easy! 1. Take one bin bag/refuse sack/whatever you like to call them. You know, one of these: 2. Fold it in half, wrap it around your waist and secure with tape. Or something. 3. You’re done! You are now the proud owner of the kind of skirt Marc Jacobs would hawk for £580! (Note: the Marc Jacobs skirt isn’t actually made out of a bin bag. It just looks like it is.) Can’t be bothered going to all that trouble? Just click here to buy it, then.

Save or Splurge? Red skater skirts by Preen and River Island

Behold the red skater skirt! Not exactly a hot trend item – well, you know, it’s a red skirt: they’ve been around forever, and they’ll probably be around forever more. There are a few more of them around than usual this summer, though, probably because of the whole 50s vibe that’s going on in fashion right now, and which has seen the swirly skirt rise to prominence once more, whether attached to dresses, or on its own. Skirts like these are available in lots of different colours at the moment. We particularly like them in red, though, because they have a very classic feel that’s just begging to be work with something like a striped sweater or knotted white shirt,…

Heroes in a Half Skirt: Andrea Crews provides the worst of both worlds

Heart telling you to jump aboard the midi-skirt bandwagon, but head telling you to stick to the minis you know and love? Don’t worry, there IS a middle ground: a place where midi and mini meet, mate and live happily ever after. Or possibly not. That middle ground is occupied by Andrea Crews, who has set up camp there, and is busy producing her half midi/half maxi creations, which mix fabrics, as well as lengths. If you think the example at the top of the page is bad, though, just wait until you get a look at THIS bad boy: Oh HELL NO. Denim and lace should NEVER collide, should they? It’s like a really bad day down at Dollywood….

Whoops! Sacai’s $1,100 “accident” skirt

Did anyone else look at this image and think someone had thrown up all over this skirt? Or spilt something down it at least? It’s actually embroidery, of course, but that side-tie doesn’t really help, does it? In fact, it makes it look like an apron. An apron someone has thrown up on. You really don’t see it? Maybe we need more coffee. Or less coffee. Or to live in a world where people don’t pay over $1,000 to look like they’re wearing a soiled apron. One of those should work. (Click here to buy it)

Skirt meets harem pant, courtesy of Rick Owens

It takes a special kind of skill to make a skirt look worse than a pair of harem pants. Rick Owens has that special kind of skill. Rick, we name you the Fashion Frankenstein. But what shall we call the Monster? What DO you call a cross between a skirt and harem pants? Skarem pants? We think so. And what would you charge for a skarem pant, we wonder? Oh, probably about £219, don’t you think?  If that sounds reasonable to you, click here to buy this.

Rick Owens asymmetric skort

The reverse mullet skirt: Rick Owens’ asymmetric skort

At first glance we thought this was just a skirt: but look closer.  There is, in fact, a pair of shorts peeking out from under the front hemline.: From the back it does indeed look like just a skirt, creating some sort of reverse mullet skirt which is surely a crime of fashion in itself?  But these are the short version of those skirts-attached-to-trousers that were so popular in the late 1990s.  And that can’t possibly be a good thing.  Can it?  Tell us below, and if you want to buy this item, it is $950 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Save or Splurge? Bright blue midi skirts by Rachel Roy and ASOS

As we’ve observed a couple of times now, the midi skirt is back with a vengeance right now. We’ve been admiring Rachel Roy’s blue swing skirt for a while, but at $425, we felt duty bound to seek out a slightly more wallet-friendly version. Luckily our old friends ASOS came to the rescue with this swishy blue number (which isn’t really “midi” on the model, but would be on some of the rest of us), which comes in at a rather more affordable $62. Now, the differences between the two speak for themselves here: the designer skirt is a luxe-looking silk twill, while the ASOS version is a linen/lyocell mix. The shapes and colours, of course, are similar, but how much…

Hips Don’t Lie: Sonia Rykiel Feather-embellished mesh skirt

The good news is that this skirt is designed to be worn over the top of another skirt (if The Outnet’s stylist is to be believed, anyway), so you won’t be required to display your knickers in a feathery pom-pom frame. That’s the good news. The bad news is that nothing about this makes up for the fact that you WILL still have two feathered pom-poms attached to your hips. And you’ll have paid £237 (which is at least better than the original £790) to do it. If you want to press ahead with that look, however, you can click here to do it.

Diane von Furstenberg Ceasar skirt-romper

When is a skirt also a romper?

No, that post title isn’t the opening line of some lame joke, but the answer can be found in the garment we present here.  When we first spied this skirt we thought it was a bit, well, odd, with its open sides and mini skirt underlay.  But then we looked again and realised that this skirt?  Is actually a romper too!  Behold: And there you have it.  The magically transforming skirt/romper.  And for skirt/romper read: crime of fashion. If you want the ability to convert your skirt into a romper at any given opportunity, you can buy this Diane von Furstenberg number for $265 at Shopbop.  All we ask though is that you put something underneath it as the top…

Christopher Kane laser-cut leather pleated skirt

Christopher Kane’s ‘eye popping’ skirt

Net-a-Porter call this an “eye popping take on a ladylike design”.  Well it’s certainly that alright, but we’re not sure we want our eyes popped quite that much.  If you feel like you need sunglasses to look at your skirt, that’s probably a sign that it’s a bit too bright folks. This is made of pleated leather, and the lace design has been laser cut which we suppose goes some way to justifying the £1,610 price tag.  But where would you wear a neon yellow pencil skirt?   If you have any ideas where to wear it, we’d love to know and you can buy it here.

Starstyling holograph leggings

Style on Trial: Culottes

Culottes were very popular in the early 1990s and they seem to be having something of a resurgence this spring. Naturally, then, we’re interested to discover what you think of them.  Are they just the next step from a wide leg trouser?  Are they a practical alternative to a skirt?  Would you wear them? The pair above are £38 from Topshop, but they are popping up all over the high street this season.

ASOS balloon shape jersey maxi skirt

ASOS balloon shaped skirt: model hides her face in shame

Is this the most unflattering skirt you’ve ever seen?  What about now, fully ‘inflated’? The poor model has resorted to hiding behind her oversize sunglasses in a bid to hide her identity.  And don’t even get us started on the sandals the poor girls has been forced to wear with the skirt. Perhaps the only redeeming feature about this is the price.  It’s just £30 so the fashion victims out there can wear it once, be ridiculed by their friends, and not worry about the cost when they never wear it again.  Although, as they’re fashion victims, they won’t care about the cost. What do you think though?  Is this a must have for spring or is it as ridiculous…

Look like a domestic goddess, with Tsumori Chisato

The “fifties housewife” look is the height of fashion right now, readers, and what better way to get the look than with this Tsumori Chisato skirt, which comes complete with a pair of oven gloves hanging from the waistband! At least, we think they’re oven gloves. They could also be floral ovaries, although obviously that would be even stranger. This is £194 – click here to buy it.

Rag and Bone Pelham skirt

Rag and Bone live up to their name

We saw this skirt and do you know what it reminded us of?  One of those rag rugs – you know, where rags of fabric are woven together to create a rug?  Well this could very well be the skirt version of that.  Thank goodness for that lining is all we can say.  We’re sure the model agrees. So would you wear a rag rug skirt?  Where would you wear it?  And would you pay $725 for the privilege?  If you would, it’s by Rag and Bone and you can buy it at Shopbop.

Kaufmanfranco brushed suede utility skirt

Kaufmanfranco suede skirt: now with added bag

Is everyone else seeing a bag stuck to the front of this skirt?  Net-a-Porter are trying to pass it off as an ‘oversize pocket’ but you’re not fooled, are you readers?  Neither are the Fashion Police. We suppose it could be useful for carrying a few necessities around, but do you really want to wear a skirt with a bum bag (fanny pack) attached to it?  And would you pay £1,455 for the privilege?  If you would, then you can buy it here.