I’m probably setting myself up for some abuse by describing this dress as a Crime of Fashion, because I know there are some fans of the "shiny and overtly sexy" look out there. While we’re on the subject, though, y’all can stop emailing me telling me the reason I don’t like your dresses is because I’m "too fat to wear them". The reason I don’t like your dresses is because I’m too old to wear them – there’s an important distinction there. Oh, and because I don’t want to walk around looking like I’m about to be basted in tinfoil, thanks very much.
With that out of the way, let me just say that, as well as making you feel like you’re what’s for dinner (and possibly helping you shed a few pounds in sweat, especially if the club is hot), the fabric of this also reminds me of those foil blankets they wrap around trauma victims to stop them shivering. I’m not sure whether the dress will do that or not, but I do know I’d feel like a trauma victim if I tried to wear it. And would probably look like one, too. My main question now is: is it more horrible in the gold or in the silver?