Ugly Shoes: A short roundup (And some amazing shoes, too)

We know the title of this post refers to “ugly shoes”, but seriously, THESE are amazing, aren’t they?

Finsk, $995.95: click here to buy them

Not amazing in a “Let us buy them immediately and wear them to work!” way, obviously. We somehow think the only people we’ll see actually wearing these will be Lady Gaga and those who like to dress like her. And also those who like to spend $1,000 on crazy footwear. But as SoleStruck say, these are “the most OMG shoes” on the planet right now. Hard to argue with them there. (Hard, too, not to add the phrase “OMGSHOES” to our vocabulary.) They really are quite spectacular, and while we’re a little surprised to see them being sold as ACTUAL FOOTWEAR, as opposed to just appearing on some runway, on Gaga, and then never seen again, we have to admit, we would seriously LOVE the chance to try these on and walk around in them. And probably to fall off them, too.

Now, THESE, on the other hand:

Louis Vuitton ‘Artifice’ sandals, $1,470: click here to buy

We find we will quite easily be able to live without ever trying these on. Louis Vuitton has never been our favourite brand, it’s true, and sometimes we’ve suspected them of churning out ugly stuff just so they can sit back and laugh as everyone rushes to buy it, because “IT’S LOUIS VUITTON!” But we have a particular dislike for animal legs on… well, on anything other than animals, to be perfectly honest with you. These could only be uglier if they’d stamped the “LV” logo all overt them. Ironically, they’d probably have been able to sell them for twice the price if they’d done that. This sums up Louis Vuitton for us.

While we’re on the subject of animals:

Christian Louboutin ‘Puck’, available Fall 2011

There are lots of absolutely amazing shoes in the Christian Louboutin fall collection this year, as we’ve come to expect. There’s also these. They’re called ‘Puck’, and they do have a kind of elvish feel to them. They also look a bit like they’re been wrenched off the feet of some mythical, woodland creature. One that we’d probably prefer not to meet. Quite how this will work outside the setting of a Shakespearian play, or a nightmare, we have no idea. We’ll be interested to find out, though, when they finally become available and people start wearing them. Well, THEY’RE DESIGNER. People WILL wear them, won’t they?

Finally, one we suspect you’ll all love, and want to use the word “quirky” to describe:

Vans Watermelon shoes, $36, Colette. Personally we prefer to keep feet and foot separate (it’s just one of our “things”), but if you can’t wait to put the two together, you can click here to buy them. After the Louis Vuitton and Christian Louboutin offerings, they actually look quite sweet. And make us fancy a slice of watermelon, now you come to mention it…


  • July 7, 2011


    The Vans would be cute without that huge sole – somehow that makes it look like a ‘spechul’ shoe – if you get my meaning?

    As for the others – I couldn’t agree with you more… You’ve summed it up perfectly!

    View Comment
  • July 7, 2011


    I don’t like any of them! And I never thought Mr. Louboutin would let us down like that… They seriously remind me of the Grinch.

    View Comment
  • July 7, 2011


    The vans look like they’re baby shoes, in which case I think they would be adorable on a little girl.

    View Comment
    • July 11, 2011


      That’s what I thought, too.
      They look a lot like baby sneakers, and in this case it’s completely okay by me.
      By the way: I didn’t recognize them as water melons until you wrote it…

      View Comment
  • July 12, 2011


    Those Vans would be ADORABLE as children’s shoes. You wouldn’t catch me n them however..

    View Comment
  • August 2, 2011

    Rock Hyrax

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a special allergy to Louis Vuitton…

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    ashley rockin

    i agree but it wasnt right to put them out for adults to wear seriously

    View Comment
  • December 28, 2013


    The first pair of shoes look like origami…

    View Comment