Outerwear

Amber Rose in orange jacket by Bless

Case Closed: Amber Rose in Bless’ orange fox fur jacket

When we first brought Bless’s bright orange fox-trimmed jacket to your attention last August, we thought this was one fashion mystery that would have to remain unsolved, for surely no one would want to wear such an item – especially considering the fact that it comes with a $1,777 price tag? As our mothers are always telling us, though, there really is something for everyone, and one woman’s crime of fashion is another woman’s Most Wanted. As if to prove that point, here’s Kanye West’s girlfriend, Amber Rose, wearing one of the aforementioned jackets in Paris last week. Looks like Amber missed the ‘Leggings Are Not Pants’ memo too, hmm? Interestingly, one of our first reactions to this jacket last…

Don’t Wear it to the Airport: Ashish spiked denim jacket

This item was reported by Eva, who points out that it’s probably illegal in several countries. We don’t know about that, but we DO know that you couldn’t expect too many hugs while you were wearing it. And that makes us sad. It’s by Ashish, and it’s £810 at Browns Fashion. We’d want those spikes to be solid platinum for that.

Get tangled up in Maison Martin Margiela’s spider-web waistcoat

If the title of this post hadn’t already given the game away, do you think you’d have guessed what this is, readers? Other than a spider’s web, obviously? We don’t think we’d have guessed it was a waistcoat, so props to Maison Martin Margiela for creating yet another garment that doesn’t actually look like a garment. That must take a lot of skill, you know? Oh, and for those of you still struggling to see the “waistcoat” bit, here it is on a mannequin:

Dolce & Gabbana’s jacket comes with handbags attached

At first we thought it was just an ugly jacket. Then we took a closer look: Ah. Well, on the plus side, at least you won’t need a handbag. On account of how there are two of them attached to your jacket. It also goes some way towards explaining the £475 price tag. Value for money, you see! Available at Yoox.com, but only if you’re a UK size 8.

Jean Charles De Castelbajac’s further adventures in animal-themed fashion

Ah, Jean Charles De Castelbajac! By now we’re used to his weird and (debatably) wonderful forays into the world of animals-as-clothing, but it would still be remiss of us not to bring your attention to these latest examples of his craft. Some designers just use leopard print, you see, but JCdC, he uses the whole leopard – or its head, at least. In a Wear or Die type of situation we’d probably go with the dress, but all the same, we’re glad we don’t have to choose. If you, on the other hand, would find the choice a pleasant one, you can find both of these at Colette, where they retail for around £600 each.

The Emperor’s new Miu Miu jacket

Oh great: a shacket. Well, we’d had shants and shresses, so it was surely only a matter of time before someone decided to make a sheer jacket, no? As well as offering proof that people will, indeed, pay £265 for essentially nothing, this also has the dubious distinction of being possibly the most useless garment we’ve ever come across. Bravo, Miu Miu: winner of this year’s Chocolate Teapot Award for fashion! Miu Miu sheer jacket, £265

[Guest Post] Crime Of Fashion: Miss Selfridge Ostrich Feather Jacket

Fi writes… When I saw this in a magazine it was in blue and my first thought was ‘OMG, who killed Gonzo from the Muppets?!’  The culprits turned out to be Miss Selfridge and they have cunningly tried to disguise their crime by dying the jacket black which is the only colour currently available on their website.  However, we are not fooled and the jacket is therefore thrown into Fashion Police jail for its crimes. Bail is set at £120 and you can release it here. [Read more from Fi at her blog, ShoeGal]

Revenge of the Shoulderpads: Dolce & Gabbana’s puff sleeve trenchcoat

We’ve had to put up with a lot from shoulder pads this year. They’ve been on everything from dresses to jackets to shirts: in fact, chances are that if it covers your shoulders, it’s probably had a pair of giant foam pads inserted into it at some point this year. We think this Dolce & Gabbana trench coat is one of the more amusing shoulder-pad pieces of the year, though: not just because the thought of paying £1,850 for something we’d have trouble fitting through doorways in makes us snicker slightly, but because it looks like the Incredible Hulk is about to come busting out of it at any second. In fact, we’re pretty sure that if the Hulk shopped…

Tim Ryan’s handmade mohair coats are…interesting

Oh no, not AGAIN! Are the muppets safe from NO ONE? Must fashion designers continue this terrible tradition of hunting down and killing every last one of them, purely so we can have super-expensive jackets? The Fashion Police would like it to be known that this kind of thing is NOT ON. In the future, anyone found to be involved in muppet killing will be sent straight to Fashion Police jail, on a life sentence. We’re going to be starting with Tim Ryan, who’s selling the coats you see above for £1,930 each at Browns. He goes straight to the newly-opened Muppet Wing of our jail – unless, of course, any of our readers would like to step in and…

The Curse of the Cutout Jackets Spreads: Cynthia Rowley jacket is latest victim

Following on from the Dion Lee blazer we showed you last month (you know, the one that didn’t have any elbows?), The Fashion Police are saddened to report that attacks on defenceless jackets are continuing, across the world. The latest victim is this Cynthia Rowley jacket, which appears to have had part of its back removed by an un-named attacker. What was the motive for this crime? We’re dammed if we know. We do realise that a nice pair of shoulder blades can be sexy, but the grey t-shirt you can see under this jacket? Not so much. And if you did wear it with nothing underneath, in a bid to show off your shoulders, well, you clearly have a…

Alexander Wang mates denim jacket with hoodie

A denim jacket with a hoodie underneath: it’s not exactly a fashion crime, but then, it’s not quite the cutting edge of style either, is it? Unless… unless the denim jacket is actually ATTACHED to the hoodie. That’s a different matter. In fact, that’s £525 of “edgy” fashion right there – or so we’re led to believe, anyway. If you’re convinced by it, it’s by Alexander Wang, and it’s available at Browns.

Coat Corner: red short frill detail coat from Miss Selfridge

We love red on winter coats. There’s nothing like a bright splash of colour on a dull winter day to make you feel that little bit more cheerful, and there’s also something very festive about the colour, although hopefully not too festive: we wouldn’t want to be accused of taking style tips from Father Christmas, after all. This coat from Miss Selfridge combines a classic shape with a great colour and some cute little ruffles – it’s £65 and you can buy it here.

Unsolved Mysteries: Dion Lee silk blazer with sleeve twist

This is described as a silk blazer with “sleeve twist”. The “twist” is that someone has chopped off the elbows. Because, honestly! Elbows! Who has elbows in their jackets any more? Elbows are just, like, SO last season! But this: this is edgy. it is creative. It does not, in any way, look like the designer was desperate to do something, anything, to be different, and thought, “I know, I’ll just chop the elbows off! And everyone will think it’s edgy!” Oh God, no. It’ll cost you £502 to wear a jacket without elbows. If you wear it Lady Gaga style, as shown, with just a giant pair of knickers, it’ll possibly cost you considerably more, because The Fashion Police…

Fashion Trends: Animal print faux fur coats and jackets

Animal print is one of those things you have to be really careful with. Too much, or the wrong type of garment, and you can end up looking like the legendary Bet Lynch, of Coronation Street fame: Which is to say: it can be tacky. Done right, though, we think a little bit of leopard can add a glamorous touch to an outfit, and we have to admit, we’re quite partial to it, in small doses. It’s definitely not a look for everyone, though, which is why today we want to solicit your opinions on one of this winter’s biggest trends: the faux fur, animal print coat. Now, faux fur and animal print are both fairly big this year independently…

80s Overload: FC72 Batwing Denim Jacket

Yeah, OK, fashion designers, the joke’s over: all of this 80s-inspired crap we’ve been putting up with for the past few years has GOT TO STOP. Especially now that a batwing denim jacket has been allowed to come into existence. Seriously, a BATWING DENIM JACKET. They wouldn’t even have allowed that in the actual 80s, never mind these pseudo 80s we’re living through now. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of the 80s:     Now, the pink cropped sweater is… not our kinda thing, granted. But holy crap, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHE’S WEARING WITH IT? Is that an acid-wash diaper? Because it sure looks like one: *Shudder*  Guess we know what our nightmares will be about…

If we were going to buy a cropped, sequin jacket…

…this one from Topshop is probably the one we’d buy. Not that we’re actually considering buying it, you understand, but we think our eyes have started to adjust to all of the sequins that are around right now, and they don’t look half so bad as they might have done a few weeks/months ago. We think this jacket would look good worn casually with jeans, but if you have a big night out planned, it could also be good over a dress,  for a very Blair Waldorf/society heiress kinda look. It’s £95 from Topshop.

Marni’s balloon style straight jacket coat

“Look! No hands!” Well, it may be a crime of fashion, but at least it’s totally ‘armless, eh? Geddit? “Armless?” Oh, never mind… We arrested this Marni jacket yesterday evening, although we must admit, it took the officers in charge quite some time to get the cuffs on it, because: a) they were laughing so hard and b) it’s got NO ARMS to attach them to Now that we’ve confiscated it, we’re going to put it to good use in the Fashion Police jail, where it’ll come in handy as a straight jacket. It was actually quite tempting to let this one walk free, though, if only so we could have the chance to see hordes of people all walking…

Coat Corner: Jackie O style cocoon coat from Forever 21

[sorry, this image is missing] Bought your winter coat yet? If not, may we recommend this cocoon coat from Forever 21: not only is it a bargain at just $34.80, it’s very Jackie O – just add a pair of dark glasses and some elbow length gloves to keep your arms warm under those 3/4 sleeves for a chic, 60s look. Forever 21 brisk tweed jacket, $34.80

Ugly Outerwear: Bless cotton and fox jacket

These jackets have a bit of a Photoshopped feel to them, but rest assured, if they have been ‘shopped, it wasn’t done by us: The Fashion Police don’t like to tamper with the evidence, and even if we did, we don’t think we could make these any uglier if we tried. Or any more expensive, actually: these are $1,777 each, which means we can convict them on three counts: Count 1: Offences to the eyeballs Count 2: Cruelty to animals Count 3: Possible Daylight Robbery Three strikes means you’re out in our world: or rather you’re IN the Fashion Police jail, so we have no hesitation in convicting these jackets of Crimes of Fashion. Bail is set at the aforementioned…