Five knitwear styles to avoid this fall

September starts on Monday, which means some of you are probably starting to think about your autumn/winter wardrobes, and, in particular, knitwear. There’s nothing quite like snuggling up in a cosy sweater on a chilly day, is there? Except, of course, the sweater in question is one of these…

cable knit sweater

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We don’t know about you, but for £1.085, we’d want the whole sweater, not just the parts of it someone managed to hastily cobble together after it was attacked by The Clothes Ripper. We’re guessing this is an attempt to make the chunky cable sweater in some “edgy”, by use of the now-familiar technique of ripping holes in it to ensure visibility of body parts. Question: is it still “edgy” if everyone does it? We’re not edgy, so we don’t know.

moschino hoodie with attached handbag

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God knows, it’s not like we’ve come to expect better from Jeremy Scott’s work for Moschino, but this is not only one of the most blatant Stuck-Together-Clothes crimes we’ve seen in a while, it’s also a Visible Logo crime. We’ve long considered highly visible logos to be the height of fashion criminality: guys, Moschino should be paying YOU £1,1710 to be a walking advertisement for them, not the other way around!

furry cardigan

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feathered sweater

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This model asked to remain anonymous. Probably because she has part of a bird strapped to her chest. This one costs almost £2,000, too: better get saving, fashion fans!

split sweater

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We’ll probably never know exactly what happened to this sweater, but we’d put money on The Clothes Ripper being involved somehow. How else would an innocent-looking stripe sweater find itself split almost in half? That’s why we always advise you to run, don’t walk, from this dastardly fashion criminal…

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