Style On Trial

hoof shoes

Style Trial: Camilla Skovgaard hoof-shaped court shoes

One of the most common criticisms we hear about platform shoes is that they can look a bit like hooves, their wearers clip-clopping along like pretty little ponies. In the case of these Camilla Skovgaard pumps, however, the effect is a deliberate one, and the model looks more like she got her shiny new shoes from the blacksmith, rather than from My Wardrobe, which is where these are currently available to buy. We suspect we already know the answer to this question, but we’ll ask it anyway: do you consider these arrest-worthy, or should we set them free? In other words, are they innocent or guilty of committing crimes of fashion?

Giuseppe Zanotti Mixed Media Curved-Wedge Platform Ankle Boots

Style Trial: Giuseppe Zanotti Mixed Media Curved-Wedge Platform Ankle Boots

These exist. Should they exist, though: that is the question we’re here today to ponder. They’re by Giuseppe Zanotti, they’re a whopping £2,070, but despite costing more than a beat-up car, they’re not exactly the most versatile pieces of footwear in the world, consisting of the heel-less silhouette we’ve become oh-so-familiar with over the past few years, topped with expensive-looking Swarovski crystals and finished with cheap looking pink plastic spikes. They’re something of a contradiction then, which leaves us wondering who would wear such a thing? At the moment, all we can come up with is a teenage punk bride with a trust fund. Your guesses are welcome. Oh, as are your judgements on whether or not these constitute a crime of fashion… [Buy them]

Style Trial: Kylie Minogue in gingham at the Q Awards

[Images:] We’re not entirely sure how we managed to miss this, but the Q Awards took place in London this week, and Kylie Minogue rocked up in this unusual gingham number, which looks a bot like something took a bite out of her shoulder and she was forced to quickly patch up the hole with a piece of mis-matched fabric. We love Kylie, but we can’t allow our personal feelings get in the way when it comes to fighting crimes of fashion, so we must ask you: is Kylie committing one here?

Elizabeth Moss in short-shorts

Style Trial: Elizabeth Moss in short-shorts

January Jones wasn’t the only Mad Men star to walk the, er, black carpet at the Paley Centre last night: co-star Elizabeth Moss was also in attendance, wearing a pair of short, tailored shorts with a matching jacket and orange shirt. Elizabeth has seemed to be having a little more fun with her outfits since giving her hair the chop earlier this year: what do you think of this particular look? [Images:]

Nicholas Kirkwood Two Faces Pointed Toe Boots

Style Trial: Nicholas Kirkwood Two Faces Pointed Toe Boots

The Fashion Police have long believed that clothes and shoes shouldn’t have faces. We also firmly believe they shouldn’t have HAIR. Still, we have to admit that the ponytails on these Nicholas Kirkwood boots make us feel a bit nostalgic. It would be a bit like having an adult My Little Pony, wouldn’t it? You could braid it! And tie ribbons in it! And… OK, maybe not. What do you think, Fashion Police jurors? Are these a crime of fashion, or are you already trying to decide what you’re going to name them? [Buy them]

Elle Fanning and Uma Thurman

Worrying Celebrity Fashion Trends: Elle Fanning and Uma Thurman try to make shresses happen

[Images:] Whoops! Can you believe Uma Thurman and Elle Fanning BOTH turned up to Elle’s ‘Women in Hollywood’ celebration with their slips showing? OK, not really. They did both turn up wearing something we hesitate to call a “trend”, because we really hope it isn’t about to become one, but given that there were two examples of it on show at this event alone, we’re raising the alert anyway. We’re referring, of course, to the sheer black dress with the white under-layer. For us, this is probably always going to look like the kind of accident that can easily be avoided by wearing flesh-coloured underwear under black clothes, but which we suspect other sections of the fashion world will…

Lea Michele at Elle’s 19th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration

Style Trial: Lea Michele at Elle’s 19th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration

[Images:]  Any time our officers come across one of those “dresses” that requires the use of inverted commas around the word, because it’s really just a fancy bodysuit with a net curtain slung over the top, they find themselves wondering: who would wear such a thing? Today we at last have an answer to that question: Lea Michele would wear such a thing. To Elle’s 19th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration, no less. Is Lea committing a crime of fashion, though? Does the fact that it’s a particularly fancy bodysuit, covered with a particularly elaborate curtain, make up for the fact that she’s out in public in something that most of us would class as lingerie? Does the “if ya got…

2012 fall fashion trends

2012 Fall Fashion Trends on Trial: Slipper shoes

(Flat slippers, Tom Ford stacked heel, £425 / Black ballet shoes, £22 / Alexander McQueen slip on shoes, £430 / Zara velvet shoes, £22 / Melissa leopard shoes / Loafer shoes, £115) Continuing our look at the fall fashion trends of 2012, our attention turns to footwear, and a trend that’s been around for a while now, but which is definitely starting to gather strength with the approaching autumn. Yes, folks, we’re talking about slipper shoes. Shoes that look like slippers. And not just ANY old slippers, either: these shoes resemble what we think of as “grandad slippers” – the kind of thing a stylish older gent might slip into after a day spent pruning the rosebushes and doing the…

2012 Fall Fashion Trends

2012 Fall Fashion Trends on Trial: Head to Toe Print

[Warehouse] Brace yourselves, Fashion Police Officers: this is not a drill. The outfit you see above really IS being touted as a “fall fashion trend”, and will no doubt soon be being described as “bang on trend” and “so edgy!” by the fashion press. So, as you can see, this one’s all about print. And more print. And, you know, maybe this outfit could use a little more print, what do you think? Or are you so stunned by the assault on your retinas that you just CAN’T think? Too bad, if so: this fall we’re all going to be walking around in floral print trousers, worn with matching blazers, and possibly a contrasting shirt. And you don’t have to…

Alicia Vikander in green at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

Style Trial: Alicia Vikander in green at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

Alicia Vikander decided to go all “green goddess” on us for the Anna Karenina London premiere. We say “green goddess”: when we see long, emerald green, long-sleeved dresses like this one, our first thought is generally “Evil Queen in a Disney movie” – especially when the dress in question is worn with an appropriately disdainful pout. “Evil Queen” isn’t necessarily a bad thing in the world of fashion, though: or IS it? Innocent or guilty?  [Images:]

Laura Bailey at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

Laura Bailey at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

Laura Bailey was also at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina last night: or rather Laura Bailey’s shoulders were there. We’re sure the rest of her was there too – it’s just so easy to overlook everything else when faced with THAT much ruffle, no? So, this is definitely an interesting outfit, and just FYI: when we describe an outfit as interesting, it normally means we’re trying to be tactful in order to make sure we don’t startle the suspect and force them to move on before we can get some officers on the scene. Should we get some officers on the scene here? Is this a Crime of Fashion? You tell us… [Images:]

Keira Knightley at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

Style Trial: Keira Knightley at the UK premiere of Anna Karenina

It’s been a while since Keira Knightley last graced The Fashion Police’s holding cell, but she’s currently busy promoting Anna Karenina, which means we’ll probably be seeing a whole lot more of her, so we figured we’d put her On Trial, to make sure she keeps toeing the line. So, what do you make of this Chanel couture gown, worn to the London premiere of the movie. We’ll go on record and say that while Keira would make an excellent toilet doll in this (In fact, note to self: see about having a ‘Keira’ doll created for The Fashion Police guest bathroom…) we quite like this, and she looks undeniably gorgeous here. Then again, it could just be that we’re…

greyhound boots

Style Trial: Alain Quilici for David Koma 130mm greyhound net leather boots

The Fashion Police love dogs. Love ’em. Where would we be without our trusty police dog, after all? We have to say, though, we kinda prefer to keep dogs as pets, as opposed to fashion accessories. And we’d much rather walk ’em than walk ON ’em. That’s why we won’t be rushing to buy these £958 greyhound boots any time soon. You, however  may be planning to do just that, and if you are, it’s time to speak up in their defence, or forever hold your peace, for these are now up on trial: are the guilty or innocent of committing crimes of fashion?  

Rachel Weisz pictured at the premiere of The Bourne Legacy

Style Trial: Rachel Weisz at the World Premiere of The Bourne Legacy

Rachel Weisz has obviously been paying attention to the “boobs or legs” rule of fashion. This is a good thing, because when the girls are being as, er, uplifted as this, you definitely don’t want the legs trying to get in on the action too. Did Rachel take things too far with the midi length dress, though? We know some of our officers believe this kind of length isn’t appropriate on anyone, cutting off the leg and “stumpifying” the wearer. And yes, that totally is a word. We don’t reckon Rachel looks remotely stumpy here in her Christian Dior dress and Christian Louboutin shoes: in fact, we reckon the two Christians make a pretty good double act, actually. It’s not…

Lea Michele at the Fox All Star party

Style Trial: Lea Michele in Emilio Pucci at the Fox All-Star Party

Dress: Emilio Pucci // Shoes: Brian Atwood Yesterday, Lea Michele wore what Fashion Police commenter Cindy accurately described as “the clubgoing girl’s uniform”, complete with “Hey, boys, look at my breasts!” pose. Today, Lea is still flaunting the girls, but this time the low-cut neckline is combined with a much more demure below-the-knee hem, and a floaty pink dress. We think this works much better than yesterday’s outfit: it’s still sexy, but it’s much less obvious, and the shoes are less distracting, too. What do you think: innocent or guilty?

American Apparel disco pants

Style Trial: American Apparel Disco pants

Fashion bloggers love them. Celebrities love them. The Fashion Police… are mostly just perplexed that we can’t seem to get through a full day without hearing someone gush about the wonder that is American Apparel’s Disco pants: glorified Spandex jeggings, right out of that final scene in Grease. What is the secret of the disco pants, jurors? Why is everyone so infatuated with them: even people who would ordinarily agree with us that leggings are not pants, and that disco pants are dangerously close to being leggings? Well, according to the style bloggers who love them (and seriously, a LOT of style bloggers love these things), the disco pants are awesome, precisely because they’re NOT like leggings. Nope, according to…

mullet skirts

Style Trial: Mullet Skirts

[Skirts: GoJane] It’s no use: we’ve been hoping that if we just ignored them for long enough, mullet skirts (or high-low skirts, if you prefer) would quietly slink off back to wherever they came from. Here we are, though, well into summer 2012, and the skirts that are party in the front and… well, party in the back, too, actually… still seem to have a stranglehold on fashion. We can’t remember the last time we looked at a street style blog or fashion editorial that didn’t feature at least one wispy mullet skirt wafting artfully in the breeze, most often worn with some kind of clunky shoe-boot, and a crop-top of some kind. So we’re putting them On Trial. Well,…

Jeffrey Campbell 'Upend'

Style Trial: Jeffrey Campbell ‘Upend’ pumps

Oh, Jeffrey Campbell, there’s no need to tiptoe around the issue (boom boom!): this is a true crime of fashion! And also really quite creative and clever, we have to admit. Which makes us wonder if it really IS a crime of fashion after all. Imagine, for instance, how surreal it would be to see people walking around looking like they were on tiptoe all the time? Honestly, as much as we like to consider ol’ JC the head honcho of the fashion criminal fraternity (we still haven’t forgiven him for unleashing the Lita pumps on the world), we have to give him some credit here for making that scenario possible. What do you think of these? Innocent or guilty? (Click here…

ASOS Extreme Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses

Style Trial: ASOS Extreme Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses

The Fashion Police love cat eye sunglasses. In fact, it would be really easy for us to go too far with this look. And then we’d end up looking like this: What do you think: extremely stylish or extremely ridiculous? The choice, dear jurors, is yours… [Click here to buy them]