Guess What It Is

dress or bag

Anyone feel like hazarding a guess at what this is? Without cheating by scrolling down the page for the answer, we mean?

Is it a sleeping bag? A tent? Some kind of Ikea lampshade cover? Because it totally looks like an Ikea lampshade cover, don’t you think?

It isn’t, though. Although we’d possibly like it better if it was. No, this colourful item is, in fact…

designer dress

[Buy it]

..a designer dress! Which will cost you £1,172.53. One. Thousand. One. Hundred. And Seventy Two. Pounds. And fifty-three pence. Nope, it doesn’t get any easier to believe the more you say it. Quite the opposite, in fact. What people choose to spend their money on is their business, obviously, but we have to say, if someone said they were buying us a £1,ooo designer dress, and we opened the box to find this inside, we’d have a hard time coming up with an appropriate “present face”, wouldn’t you? Because this? This looks like an Ikea lampshade, as we’ve noticed. One from the children’s department. On clearance. It also makes the model look like a cartoon character, and reminds us of a couple of our fashion guidelines, namely:

01. If you can’t instantly work out what kind of garment it is, it’s probably a crime of fashion.

02. If it makes models look bad, there is no hope for the rest of us.

03. No item of clothing should look like it came from Ikea.

In a bid to cleanse our palettes, so to speak, we had a look around for something we might actually like from this brand. Seeing the words “voluminous brocade skirt”, we thought we’d struck gold: we DO love a big skirt after all!

voluminous brocade skirt

Er, maybe not quite this big, though. We have to admit, though: something like this would come in really handy on public transport – you’d have all the space you needed!


  • February 26, 2015


    Marsha says they would have to pay her to wear that dress lol

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  • February 27, 2015


    Remembering the days when clothes didn’t come with viewing ports. Sigh.

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  • February 28, 2015

    morna piper

    I thought it was a shower curtain! Mind you I think you are being pretty harsh on IKEA here, I’m sure if they did clothes they would be hardwearing, functional, durable and in slightly strange sizes but I’m sure the sensible Swedes would not advocate wearing a lampshade in lieu of a skirt!

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  • March 2, 2015


    They do love to pair black, mannish lace-ups with every skirt, don’t they? Imagine you fell for a marriage impostor who robbed and left you in the sleeping car, leaving only his men shoes behind. In the morning, you put your feet into those shoes and took off the decorative fitted sheet from the uppermost bed to at least cover your nakedness. That’s how this dress looks to me.

    Ikea, I think, would make yellow and blue striped dungarees if they made clothes.

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  • March 2, 2015


    I know what it is and I know how it feels like. I had one of these a few years ago. I was fine with it. And it’s pretty cheap and good looking.

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