Fashion Crime Friday | Floating ankle cuffs and other crimes of fashion

It’s Fashion Crime Friday, everyone, and we’re kicking things off with what has to be the saddest, saggiest jumpsuit we ever did see:

deformed jumpsuit

[Buy it here]

Suspect # 1 | The Deformed Jumpsuit

We guess if your aim when getting dressed is to make yourself look slightly deformed , this this guy is for you. What’s that strange bulge on the inside of the model’s right knee? Oh yeah: it’s her crotch. Silly us.

Now we know that this jumpsuit exists in the world, these trousers don’t seem quite as bad:

genie pants

[Buy them here]

Suspect # 2 | The £600 genie pants

They’re like modern genie pants, which we guess might seem like a good idea to some of you, although we’re guessing the price tag probably won’t sound QUITE as good. These also have a bit of “deformed leg” action going on – is it just us, or does one leg look larger than the other here, too? Is that a thing now? Do we need to write a “How to Rock the One Large Leg Look?” article now? Please tell us no…

hardware trousers

[Buy them here]

Suspect # 3 | The Hardware Trousers

These trousers have what’s described as “floating ankle cuffs”. It’s not clear whether these cuffs are detachable (or, indeed, why you would even WANT them to be), but what IS clear is that it’ll cost you $3,675 to buy a pair of them. Better get saving, folks!

Finally, anyone want to hazard a guess what this item is?

mystery item

[Buy it here]

That’s right: it’s a jacket, obviously!

comme des garcons jacket

Suspect # 4 | Comme des Garcons jacket

This isn’t nearly as bad at the CDG outerwear which featured in this week’s Wear or Die – in fact, it’s actually pretty amazing, if you don’t try to image actually wearing it. It’s being sold as a jacket, though, not as a sculpture, and it seems just a little impractical to us, (Imagine getting onto a crowded bus in it, for instance) but we’ll leave it up to you to decide whether or not it’s a crime of fashion.

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