Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, standing before you in the dock today we have a shirt which stands accused of committing crimes against fashion. It’s Fendi’s full sleeved circle print shirt, and the prosecution and defense will now state their cases both for and against the accused…
The Case for the Prosecution:
So, as soon as we laid eyes on this, we laughed. Seriously, that’s never a good sign, is it? Also, it looks like an over-enthusiastic art college project: also not always a good thing.
The Case for the Defense:
Oh, this is just so flamboyant! Like, you could totally go flamenco dancing in it and everyone would love it! You know who else would love it? Elton John. And maybe Shirley Bassey. It’s floaty! It’s sassy! It’s the ultimate marriage of the safe old dress shirt with another, much more fabulous world!
Look, ultimately this shirt needs to decide what it wants to be. Is it the kind of sensible white shirt you’d wear to work if you really had to, or is it going out dancing later tonight?
Over to you, jurors, is it guilty or innocent?