Fashion Crime Friday | The Emperor’s New Pencil Skirt

We can only assume the recent dip in temperature has sent our hardened fashion criminals running for cover, because this week we have just one solitary style suspect to confront you with on this Fashion Crime Friday. Given that many of you are probably too busy shopping the Black Friday sales right now to pay much attention to your police duties, that’s probably just as well.

Here’s this week’s suspect:

contrast pencil skirt

contrast pencil skirt, $25

This is available at Shopbop, but is only $25, which is unusually cheap for them. Actually, $25 would be pretty cheap for most brands when it comes to pencil skirts, and this low pricing is possibly your first clue, style sleuths, telling you that all is not well with this item.

The second clue? That would be the giant sheer panels cut into the fabric, and reaching almost to the crotch. This is very out of character for Shopbop. We know they sometimes supply us with some high-end fashion surprises, but we’re starting to wonder if they’re possibly being held hostage, forced to sell this item against their will…

As for the skirt itself, it’s the kind of thing that makes us think of that particular approach to style which can basically be summed up as “MUST. SHOW. AS. MUCH. SKIN. AS. POSSIBLE. OTHERWISE. BOYS. WILL. NOT. LIKE. ME.” Pencil skirts pose a problem for those following this particular aesthetic: they can certainly be sexy, but they’re not short, and they’re not (often) sheer, so how do you solve the problem of wearing a pencil skirt, while still revealing as much thigh as you can without being arrested for indecency? Simple: add some sheer panels to the skirt, to the point where it ends up looking more like a fringed pelmet than a pencil skirt. You won’t risk arrest from the regular police, but you may find yourself on the wrong side of US – assuming, that is, that our officers agree.

What do you think, officers? Skirts like this are becoming increasingly commonplace these days: has exposure to them (and the thighs underneath them) normalised the look to the point where it seems perfectly acceptable, or do you think this item is a crime of fashion?

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