Dresses

Fashion Police Gold Star Award: Oasis s/s 2010 collection

We usually award our gold star to a particularly well-dressed celebrity but on this occasion we feel that a store is worthy of the award.  We were looking through the Oasis website and we did not find one single thing we needed to arrest for fashion crimes.  Not even in the jumpsuit section, and that is something we thought would never happen.  In fact, we found things we would very much like to buy.  Lots of things we would very much like to buy. So congratulations to Oasis, and if you have more self control than we do, why not take a look at their current collection?  We, meanwhile, are off to hide our credit card in the freezer in…

Holey Clothes! River Island Crochet Maxi ‘Dress’

Let’s get one thing clear, River Island: This is not a dress. This ‘outfit’ might be one of  the worst things we’ve seen in recent months. Sometimes, River Island come up with some great pieces (their shoes are often pretty fantastic) but when they get it wrong, well it looks like this. That bikini top doesn’t fit her very well, either. We’re not even sure where you’d wear this crochet maxi dress. Would you wear it on the beach as a cover up? You’d get a tan with holes in it. Would you wear it to a club? No, you’d be cold and boys would stare at your lady bits. Not really the outfit for doing the weekly shop either….

liv tyler and evva mendes in mai dresses

Celebrity Spy Special: Stars in summer maxi dresses

Like the stripes we discussed earlier this week, the maxi dress is another fashion favourite that tends to start popping up in stores as soon as the weather warms up. Despite their ongoing popularity, however, maxi dresses don’t suit everybody, and if you’re particularly petite, you may feel a bit like you’re drowning in them (that’s assuming you can find one that doesn’t trail along the ground in the first place!). On the plus side, however, maxi dresses are cool, summery, and a true sign that summer is here at last, so if you’re thinking of trying out the trend, here are some celebrities in maxi dresses to provide some inspiration, kicking off with Liv Tyler and Eva Mendes, above)….

"I went to Cheap Monday and all I got was this lousy dress!"

Holey Clothes! Cheap Monday By Ann Sofie Back Cut Out Sweat Dress

The word “dress” is kinda pushing it when it comes to this item, isn’t it? And, actually, so is the word “clothes”, now we come to think of it, because this looks less like a covering for the body and more like a giant net that Cheap Monday have cunningly talked this model into wearing, in order to try to persuade us all that we want t spend £45 on it. She doesn’t look happy, does she? We don’t blame her, either: she was lucky she was able to work out which holes were for her head and arms! Some people would be less lucky: they’d end up stuck there for hours, frantically trying to disentangle themseves from the cunning…

Style on Trial: Ashish Sequined Football Shirt Dress

Can the different worlds of football and fashion ever really meet? Have you ever found yourself wishing there was a way to combine the casual comfort of your boyfriend’s oldest football shirt with the sparkly sequins of a cocktail dress? Is this Ashish dress REALLY a “future collectable”, as Browns Fashion call it? If so, is it worth £750 / $1,154? These questions all need to be answered readers, and they need to be answered by you. So, what do you say?

Unravelled: Tim Ryan’s knit dress with ripped front

Oh, no! You pay £445 / $642 for a new dress, and then you go and snag it on something first time you wear it, causing the front to totally unravel, revealing that dingy grey bra you threw on underneath! How embarrassing! Of course, one way to avoid such embarrassment is to buy the dress pre-ripped, like this Tim Ryan knit dress. That way it’s no longer a once-ordinary dress that’s now been totally ruined by your clumsiness, it’s a fashion-forward collector’s item, and everyone will look at you in wonder and call you “edgy”: awesome! What do you think, readers? Are you off to your closets to try and unravel an existing dress right now, or will you just…

Shress Alert! ASOS Lace Trimmed Petticoat Maxi Dress

” A perfect number for sophisticated summer events,” says ASOS.com of this sheer maxi dress. Well, only if by “sophisticated summer events” you mean “ones where you’re required to wear two dresses – one long, one short – at the same time.” Or “ones where you expect a heavy rainfall, and want to be able to protect your little black dress from the elements while still showing it off”. Yes, this definitely reminds us of those transparent ponchos you see people wearing in theme parks in the summer, only it comes in the shape of a maxi dress, and won’t actually be of much use in the rain. Still, if you’re feeling particularly indecisive, it could be a good way to…

Style on Trial: Jean Charles de Castelbajac Robe Dona Blanche

You can give this as fancy a French title as you like Jean Charles, but we can all see that that is Donald Duck covering that dress.  The model looks horrified that she has been forced to dress like a toddler in this dress.  Whilst the Fashion Police have nothing against Donald Duck, we just feel this print is a bit too much for an adult’s item of clothing.  Where would you wear this dress? Jean Charles de Castelbajac has been convicted of many crimes against fashion (including the massacre of Kermit the Frog and friends back in March 2009) but is he guilty in this case?  Would you wear this dress (and if you would, please tell us on…

Mad Men Fashion: Ava Dress in Jade Green by Pinup Couture

Whether you love Mad Men, or just love the fashion from the show, we’re willing to bet you might also love Pin-Up Girl Clothing right now, because it’s just chock-full of Mad Men-inspired fashion. We spotted this green ‘Ava’ dress, which is more or less identical to the one worn by Christina Hendricks in the image on the left, and would be perfect for Hendricks-style curvy figures. This is also available in teal, and you can buy it here.

Cut it out: Marc Jacobs Acacia Jersey Cutout Dress

This Marc Jacobs Acacia Jersey Cutout Dress first came to our attention when we were rounding up cut-out dress suspects a couple weeks ago. Now, whenever we see it our confusion deepens. The bright pop of color with the bold black trim grabs your attention and seems to work, and the silhouette manages to sexily show off a girl’s shape without looking too tight. But then you see the cutouts. Which appear to be more a skirt and a top fastened together at a single point in the front (that’s right, check out the back view) rather than actual cut out portions of fabric. Problems of fashion aside, we feel this would present problems of engineering! But is it a…

Style on trial: Christopher Kane Freja embroidered dress

The Fashion Police’s opinion on sheer clothing is well-documented. Shresses, sheggings, shants – you name them, we’ve put them on trial. This dress may not really fall into the shress category, having all the really vital body parts essentially covered, but it is still distinctly suspect. The Fashion Police feel that this particular number is best suited to its rightful place under the lime lights; whether on an ice rink or ballroom floor is open to interpretation. Because, however graceful and talented, neither figure skaters nor ballroom dancers are particularly highly-praised for their sartorial choices. “Costume” is never a good look down the pub on a Friday night… Neither is it a good look for a wedding guest, as this…

Wetsuit dress by Unique at Topshop

It certainly is Unique, Topshop, we’ll give you that. Reader Kat spotted this dress (and we use that term loosely, believe us) on the Topshop website and reported it to us as a crime of fashion.  And rightly so.  It’s a dress made of wetsuit fabric, complete with PVC zip detailing.  We are not entirely sure where you are supposed to wear such an item – the beach we would assume, but with all those straps on the shoulders?  Think of the tan lines! This is certainly one dress you would need to try on before buying – you don’t want those flaps which are designed to cover your assets to be in the wrong place now, do you? The…

Suspect Roundup: Cut-out detail dresses

The cutout dress is becoming a bit ubiquitous these days, so we’ve rounded up a few suspects for your judgement. First up we’ve got your standard sexy cutout dress, a Jill Stuart Cap Sleeve Mesh Cutout Sheath Dress, $228. While obviously sexy with its sheer panels, this dress does keep the cutouts on the modest side, not revealing any private bits as the sexier versions often do. For something a little more off beat, we found the Yigal Azrouel Jersey Cutout Dress, $978. This is a tricky one, as it doesn’t actually contain literal cutouts, but a “cutout look” nude on black print. Finally, for something a little more on the safe and girly side, there’s the M.S.S.P. Cutout-Detail Tunic…

My Humps: Calvin Klein’s sleeveless wool-blend dress

Oh dear. Well, this is awkward, isn’t it? And we know it may not be the politically correct thing to say, but this Calvin Klein dress… it’s kinda deformed, no?  Imagine wearing it to a party, for instance: anyone you stopped to chat to would be standing there thinking, “Must. Not. Look. At. The. Hump. Must. Not. Look. At. The. Swelling.” Secretly, though, they wouldn’t be able to take their eyes off it, thinking, “What IS it? IS it a colostomy bag? Is she pregnant with an alien? WHAT?” And the kicker is, you’d have paid £1,860 /$2846 to make people think you were in some kind of delicate-yet-mysterious condition, too! Or, of course, maybe that’s just us? Maybe everyone…