Dresses

The ‘Rotting Corpse Dress’ arrives too late for Halloween

Ah, it’s always embarrassing when someone turns up in costume the week after Halloween, isn’t it? This poor model probably thought her “rotting corpse” look would go down a storm, and ordinarily it would have: obviously this dress wouldn’t look like flesh on everyone, but on her it’s an almost perfect match, and she’s managed to get the “Stare of the Undead” look down perfectly, too!

The Facebook Dress: Be Your Own Social Network

We know Halloween has been and gone, but that’s OK, because this isn’t actually fancy dress (although it could be argued that it is A fancy dress): it’s by Romanian designer Lana, and it’s a customisable piece which is not only made to your measurements, but can also be made with your Facebook profile on the front. (Well, it would be a bit weird to have some random chick on your chest, wouldn’t it? Although, maybe not that much weirder than having your own face on your chest, we guess. Something to ponder…) The site selling this dress cheekily promises you’ll get “all the ‘likes’ and comments you crave” while wearing it, but we’re going to let our readers be the judge…

Lanvin’s feathered dress attacked by wild animals

It’s not just a feathered dress: it’s a feathered dress that looks like it has been viciously mauled by wild animals. And actually, come to think of it, it’s not just a feathered dress that looks like it’s been viciously mauled by wild animals, either. It’s a $4,396 feathered dress that looks like… oh, fill in the rest yourselves. We’re actually starting to feel sorry for it now. It may be Daylight Robbery, but it surely didn’t deserve whatever happened to leave it in this state, did it? (Click here to view more images or buy it)

Lionella metallic Budweiser tube dress

Budweiser dress: a creative Halloween costume?

So it’s Halloween, and you need a costume.  Something original, something no one else will be dressed as.  Well we can bet no one else will show up to the party dressed as a can of beer.  Yep, you will be the only one. The thing about this dress though?  It’s not a fancy dress costume.  It’s not even from a costume store.  Nope, Lionella are selling this as club wear.  You would be sure to turn a few heads in this if you went out clubbing in it anytime other than Halloween, we can guarantee. What do you think though?  Acceptable club wear or for use as a Halloween costume only?  (And if you want to try it out,…

Marni 3/4 length dress: the fastest route to a seat on the commute

We know what you’re thinking. We thought the same. What a cute maternity dress. Except this model? Not pregnant. And the dress? Not maternity. That’s right, for the bargain price of £298 you too can appear to have your very own bump! Freak out your boyfriend and your boss, or just use it to get a seat on the long commute. Just don’t be insulted when people ask when you’re due! Marni 3/4 length dress: £298 from yoox.com.

Sonia Rykiel two piece cardigan dress

Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Sonia Rykiel two piece cardigan dress

At first glance this is just an innocuous oversize cardigan.  But of course it’s not though, is it?  Because we wouldn’t be showing it to you if that was all it was.  No, this is an oversize cardigan with a piece of velvet stitched into the v neck.  Sonia Rykiel thinks her customers are not bright enough to work out for themselves that they could put a grey sweater over a black top.  Not only does it look like you forgot to put on your trousers, you also can’t remove the cardi if you get too warm.  And on the flip side, why would you want a cardi that you can’t layer over another top?  Surely the reason most people…

Designer Vs High Street: Leather/wool dresses from Theory and Topshop

This is technically a case of Stuck Together Clothes: they’re dresses, but they’re masquerading as skirt/sweater combos – and goodness knows, it’s hard to pair a black skirt with a black sweater, isn’t it, readers? Ignoring the flagrant breach of the “skirts should be skirts and tops should be tops” rule for the moment, however, let’s take a look at the similarities between these two dresses. The one on the left is by Theory, it’s a leather/wool mix, and it’s £555 at Net-a-Porter. The one on the right, meanwhile, is good ol’ Topshop, and while the skirt is also leather, the top half is jersey, rather than wool. It’s also significantly cheaper, at just £70, and is lacking the batwing…

Style on Trial: Black Halo Blair dress

Well, this isn’t exactly the kind of thing we’ve come to associate with the makers of the famous Jackie O dress, is it now? In fact, we think we can confidently predict that Jackie O wouldn’t have touched this with a pointy stick, given that it’s essentially just a leather bra with a skirt stuck to the bottom of it and, well, that wasn’t exactly her signature style. Jackie O may not have worn it, then, but what we really want to know is, would YOU? Does Black Halo’s Blair dress tick all your boxes, or are you, like us, thinking this looks exactly like the product of a classic “out without your top on” nightmare? Yay or Nay to…

Wear or Die: Comme des Garcons Edition

Which would you prefer, readers: to be naked but for an enormous cloud of black lace… or to be clothed, but looking like someone attacked your dress with the gardening shears? That’s the question that faces you in this edition of Wear or Die, for today you must choose one of the two dresses above to wear in public: or you must die. (And no, you can’t wear something under or over them: they must be worn exactly as they’re shown.) Which will you choose? (Both dresses are by Comme des Garcons and are available at Yoox.com.)

Spot the Difference: Victoria Beckham and Closet grey peplum dresses

Closet aren’t the first brand to “be inspired” by Victoria Beckhams’ Carmontelle peplum dress: they’re simply the most recent. Still, in the interests of policing the world of fashion, let the record reflect that the dress on the right of the image above looks very much like the one on the left, with one of the main differences being that you’ll only pay £30 for the copy (Click here to buy it from Dorothy Perkins), while the original would’ve set you back £2,095 – if, of course, it hadn’t been an almost-instant sell-out. Closet’s dress has a shorter skirt and some different tailoring on the bodice: which do you prefer (if either)?

Return of the Smock Dress: what do you think of them?

Oh no, here we go again… A few years ago, we couldn’t seem to go shopping without bumping into a rack of shapeless smock dresses. In fact, your Chief of Police didn’t buy dresses AT ALL for a couple of years, because for a while there they were all that seemed to be on offer. And now they’re on their way back, if the evidence shown above is to be believed. These images aren’t part of some kind of freaky flashback to 1975, you see: these dresses are available to buy right now, from Very.co.uk for £39 each. Generally described as “kind to the figure”, think these dresses are only “kind” insofar as they’ll make you look like you have…

Spot the Difference: Bow shift dresses by Primark and Ted Baker

This post isn’t what you probably think it is. You see, normally when we show you this kind of lookie-likey thing, it’s the high street brand that’s been “inspired” by the designer. In this case, however, what you see in front of you is a Ted Baker dress from this season… which looks an awful lot like one Primark released in winter of 2008. Hmm. Of course, we guess this could just be a co-incidence, albeit a big one, because while there are some subtle differences between the two designs, you’d have to be looking closely to spot them. The natural order of things has been reversed in order of price, too: we don’t remember how much the Primark dress…

Pretty and practical or just plain ridiculous? Acne Alp Pocket dress

We have often heard tell of the war zone that is the daily commute. We are well aware of the military precision arriving at the office on time can require. We’ll even confess to having wished, on occasion, for more accessible, less voluminous carrying apparel in which to store the numerous tickets, passes and swipe cards required to get across the city and into our building. Still, we fear Acne might have taken this analogy just a little too far. Yes, utility chic has been doing the rounds of late, but this dress can hardly be described as “utility”. Let’s look at the name, for example: can you imagine clambering up the alps in this frock? Pencil skirts are constricting…

Miss Selfridge cream stitchy frill hem dress

Style on Trial: Miss Selfridge cream stitchy frill hem dress

We would like to take this dress to task on a number of points.  Firstly, it has no underneath layer so what you see here is what you get: a crocheted dress, full of holes.  And it would most definitely be a case of ‘what you see’ because if you wear this dress as it is shown here, everyone will most definitely be able to see, well, everything. Secondly, why is it stitchy?  Why are Miss Selfridge making up words?  Our spell check objects most vehemently to a ‘y’ being added to the end of stitch. Thirdly, does it even look cream to you?  It doesn’t to us.  It looks beige, or light taupe, but definitely not cream.  That could just…

Not. A. Dress: Comme des Garcons edition

This is NOT A DRESS. We know this is obvious to the vast majority of our readers, but apparently it’s not obvious to Comme des Garcons, so we just want to reiterate: NOT. A. DRESS. OK, as you were. (Click here to buy it for £398. Just always remember what it is not.)