Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Arlena jockey print dress by Ralph Lauren: a bit busy, perhaps?


You know, I love horses. I was one of those little girls who was absolutely obsessed with horses. Not only did I have to have riding lessons and the full kit, but my room was also filled with things like horse brasses, horse figurines, horse posters, horse books… you get the picture. I also had a small collection of absolutely hideous sweaters featuring – can you guess? – horses,  and even although I think I knew, somewhere deep in my pony-obsessed brain, that they were as fugly as all hell, I didn’t care, because hey: they had horses on them.

I think even I would have drawn the line at this Ralph Lauren dress, though. Seriously. And yes, Ralph, we know you have that whole "equestrian" thing going on, and that’s fine, really, but bright yellow? With girths, stirrup irons, and more horses than I can count in a few seconds (ergo, too many damn horses already) ? Really, Ralph, I think you’ve gone over the top, I really do. And can we talk about the collar and tie? The one that looks like it actually belongs on a totally different dress?

What’s the pink thing under the tie, Ralph? What’s the point of having it when you can’t see it because of the tie? That pink thing could be anything. It could be a giant ass for all we know – and note, I’m no longer talking about horses here.

Best of all is the price: $2598 to wear this beauty. Who wants one?

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