Oh God, it's way too early in the morning for this kind of thing, seriously. We haven't even had our coffee and doughnuts yet, and here we are with a suspected fashion criminal to process.
The problem is, we don't even know where to file this one. Is it a straightforward case of Daylight Robbery (well, it is £3,607. What recession?) or is it a more complex Crime of Fashion? What did the ostrich DO to deserve this? And where's Mousy when you need her, anyway?
We're just going to play it safe here and assume that this both daylight robbery AND a crime of fashion, but if you disagree, you can get your own ostrich at NET-A-PORTER .