Crochet Crimes: Crocheted shoes by Rachel Comey


Crocheted shoes. That’s… something we hoped we’d never have to see.  See them we have, though, and having seen them, we feel we have no option but to send in some officers to bring them back to the cells. Sorry, shoes, this will hurt us more than it’ll hurt you. (Note: not really.)

Not being crocheters ourselves, we do have some questions about these which maybe those of you more versed in the ways of crocheted footwear can answer for us. Questions like: how long would it be before the wool frayed and our feet burst through the tops, like the Alien bursting from Sigourney Weaver’s belly? Would they smell like wet wool when it rained? What happens when the tops get dirty? Does anyone else think the pink uppers look a bit like entrails, if you kinda half close your eyes, and squint at them a bit? And finally, that age old question: why? Just… why?

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