Criminal Fashion at The British Fashion Awards


The British Fashion Awards. If ever there was a time when The Fashion Police could expect to be able to take the night off and sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that the world was safe from crimes of fashion for one night at least, you’d think that would be it, no?

You would think wrong, though. Take a look under the jump to see what we had to deal with at last night’s awards…


Suspect # 1: Pixie Geldof

Stripper shoes, Pixie? Really? And leggings-worn-as-pants? That come up to your chest? Is that a chain mail bra top we see there, too? IS THAT YOUR NIPPLE PEEPING THROUGH IT? So many crimes on one person! Oh, nice work with the headband, by the way, but don’t think it in any way excuses the leggings-and-stripper-shoes combo…


Suspect # 2: Jade Parfitt

Caught with her fingers in The Fashion Police’s Ugly Prom Dress box right before the awards. For shame!


Suspect # 3 – Jade Jagger

Look, we’re fans of pearls, and we can put up with quite a lot of them. It’s the cheap-looking short satin dress and fishnets that make this look like a Halloween costume…


Suspect # 4 – Sophie Ellis Bextor

Sophie Ellis Bextor is currently pregnant, which explains why her Topshop dress is shaped like a large sack. We don’t know how she’d explain the fact that it just barely skims her crotch (don’t bend over, Sophie! Not even slightly!), or why she went for white tights with it…


Suspect # 5 – Alexa Chung

Don’t get us wrong, this isn’t "criminal" by a long shot. But given that Alexa is currently the darling of the UK fashion scene, and we can’t seem to open a magazine at the moment without reading some editorial fawning over her style and declaring her to be the BEST! DRESSED! WOMAN! EVER! we can’t help but feel disappointed in her choice of the type of outfit you might thrown on to meet your friends for lunch.


Suspect # 6 – Rosamund Pike

"Droopy" is the word that comes to mind here. We really hope that was what Rosamund was going for…

And there you have it folks: the cream of British fashion!

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