Bad Bikinis: The Bead Bikini


Remember those beaded curtains people used to (and maybe still do, for all we know) hang in their doorways during the summer, so they could leave the door open but stop flies and other nasties getting inside?

Why do you think Fisico-Beach Couture thought it would be a good idea to attach one of those to a bikini top? And wouldn’t that thing get ticklish if you moved even a little bit while you were wearing it?

Finally: tan lines! Won’t someone please think of the tan lines?

Buy: The Bead Bikini, £58

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Bad Bikinis: the lopsided bra by Three as Four


We see some strange sights in the course of our work here at The Fashion Police, but this one is just plain baffling. Why would you want to create this odd, "lopsided boobs" effect, by wearing two different styles of bra top in one, we wonder? And then to attempt to replicate that effect with the briefs? We’re stumped, we really are.

Our amazement at the appearance of this Three as Four bikini, however, pales into insignificance when you consider the fact that the retail price of this garment was £452 – over $800. OK, it’s been slashed to "just" £182 in the sale, but even so – £182 to look like this? That’s a Fashion Crime in itself…

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