Ask the Fashion Police

polka dot playsuit

How to Wear a Playsuit

Playsuits have never been particularly high on The Fashion Police’s list of Looks We Love (Yes, there is an actual list…). While they can look great on the hanger, this is a look that can be rather infantilising on a grown woman, and for those of us no longer in our teens, number of situations in which the super-short look is appropriate seems to grow shorter with each passing year. Then, of course, there’s the fact that you have to get totally undressed every time you want to use the bathroom: ain’t nobody got time for that. That said, every so often a new crop of playsuits comes along which makes us think, “You know, we don’t totally HATE those…” And that…

fashion criminal

How to look like a fashion criminal … even when you’re not one

Let’s face it: no one actually WANTS to look like a fashion criminal. And yet, sometimes even the most stylish people out there can make a good outfit turn bad, just by making one simple mistake. We figure if you know what those mistakes are, you’ll also know how to avoid them, so here are some quick ways to look like a fashion criminal – avoid them at all costs! Wear shoes you can’t walk in Look, we love heels as much as the next woman: they’re part of the Fashion Police uniform, in fact. If you’re going to wear heels, though – or any shoes, really – you have to be able to walk in them. There’s no easier…

how to look good fast

How to Look Good Fast

Do you ever look at those perfectly coiffed and made-up women you see on the morning commute and wonder how on EARTH they do it? How do THEY find the time to apply a full face of makeup and create an elaborate hairdo every morning when YOU’RE still stumbling around wiping the sleep out of your eyes and wondering if there’s enough coffee in the world to wake you up? How come their clothes are never creased and their accessories are always perfectly chosen? What’s their secret, and how do you get in on it? Or, to put it more realistically: what’s their secret and how do you hack it? You’d much rather spend extra time in bed than get up at…

backhanded compliments

Five clothing compliments we’d rather not hear

Much has been written on the subject of how to gracefully receive compliments. The art of gracefully GIVING a compliment is just as important, though, and sometimes we think it’s an art that’s in danger of being lost. Here are five types of commonly-heard clothing-related “compliments” that aren’t really compliments at all… What they say: That’s such a brave choice! What they mean: It’s brave because people are probably going to laugh in your face as soon as they lay eyes on it. Unless you’re that special breed of fashionista who prides herself on being edgy and frets about whether she’s taking enough “risks” with her clothing choices, you probably don’t want to be praised for your “bravery” in getting…

how to dress up

How to Dress Up…without feeling looked down on

Wondering how to dress up to your heart’s desire, without having to answer endless questions about where you’re going, and whether you have a job interview? Here at The Fashion Police we’ve talked about how dressing up is not a crime of fashion (despite what some people would have you believe), and we’ve also talked about HOW to dress up, if you want/need to. But what about those of you who’d like to smarten up your look, but who are too afraid to ditch the jeans and sweaters because you know you’ll be looked down upon, or even just stared at, by people who consider a simple cotton sun-dress to be the most outrageously over-dressed item in existence? How do you start dressing…

how to survive a shopping ban

How to Survive a Shopping Ban

Shopping rocks: you can trust us when we say that no one knows that better than us. But as much as we love to shop, sometimes there comes a time when shopping for fashion has to take a back seat to some of the other, arguably more important things in life. Whether you’re putting yourself through college, starting a family, or saving up for that house, holiday or pension fund, every now and then there comes a time when a shopping ban starts to seem like a good idea. But how on earth do you survive one? How does a fashion-obsessed shopping addict get through a shopping ban without breaking down and hitting the shops hard? Well, we can’t promise…

why models look dead

Why models look dead, and other fashion questions answered

Every so often, The Fashion Police delve into our virtual mailbag by consulting the search terms people type into Google which lead them to this site. Many of those terms take the form of questions, so, in order to try to help those poor lost souls wandering out there in the fashion wilderness, we take it upon ourselves to answer those questions (or try to, anyway). Here are some of the burning questions on our visitor’s minds this month: if you’ve ever wondered why models look dead, and if you really HAVE to wash your clothes, read on… Why do models look dead? Didn’t you hear? Looking alive is SO last season… OK, to give this a more serious answer:…

how to find items that are sold out

Out of Stock: How to find those sold out items

OUT OF STOCK: three little words guaranteed to make every fashion-lover’s heart sink. We all know the feeling, don’t we? You find something you absolutely love: maybe on Pinterest, maybe on a blog – maybe even on THIS blog. You know you have to have it, so you click excitedly on the link, you wait for the page to load, and…. OUT OF STOCK. Gah. So, what do you do when the item you love is out of stock? Well, many of you come here and ask The Fashion Police where to find it, which is why we’ve put together some tips and tricks which might help you track down that out of stock item. Note the word might, though:…

How to Wear a Midi Dress

… without looking frumpy “How to wear a midi dress” and “what shoes to wear with a midi dress” are two of the most frequently asked questions by visitors to the Fashion Police, and it’s not hard to see why. Ever since the midi dress came back into fashion a couple of years ago, they’ve become pretty ubiquitous, with most mass-market retailers stocking at least one midi for all of the legions of mini skirts which are their more usual fare. Although midi dresses are now easy to find, though, they’re not necessarily easy to wear. In fact, this can be one of the most troublesome lengths of all: it’s very easy to look frumpy in a dress that hits…

how to spot a crime of fashion

How to spot a crime of fashion

Last week, in our random roundup, we made reference to consulting the Fashion Crimes Checklist. What we didn’t mention is that this is an ACTUAL checklist, distributed to trainee officers to help them quickly and easily tell the difference between a crime of fashion and a completely innocent item of clothing. It might help you one day, too, so without further ado, allow us to introduce… The Crimes of Fashion Checklist: How to spot a crime of fashion in progress. Spotted a potential fashion infraction? Not sure whether to call The Fashion Police, make a citizen’s arrest, or simply look the other way? Just ask yourself the following questions… 1. Could you wear a diaper under it? Harem pants, and…

How to wear stripes

How to wear stripes… whatever your figure

Want to wear stripes? Worried they’ll make you look wider than you are, or otherwise accentuate things you’d rather keep hidden? Been told a million times that stripes are only for the slender? Don’t listen to the naysayers: there are lots of ways to wear stripes, whatever your shape – let The Fashion Police show you how…

Five quick winter fashion fixes

  winter fashion at A|Wear Last week we told you how to stay stylish in winter. This week, we bring you five specific items (or types of items) we can’t live without in the battle to keep warm without resorting to wearing an adult onesie. Here they are… jersey blazer: Mango Jersey blazer/coatigan It’s great to snuggle up in a cosy sweater or oversized cardigan, but if you work in an office, say, or just need to look a little bit pulled together, baggy knitwear isn’t always the answer. Instead, find a jersey blazer or what the retailers like to term a “coatigan” (it looks a bit like a coat, but it’s actually a cardigan. Get it?): it’ll be more…

How to stay stylish in the winter

[Dunnes Stores] As we observed last week, winter presents all kinds of problems when it comes to getting dressed AND staying stylish, and all too often we end up putting warmth before fashion (as we should, of course) and stumbling through the season looking like we’re contestants in some strange kind of Supermarket Sweep gameshow, the aim being to pile on as many items of clothing as we can, in the shortest time possible. People, it doesn’t have to be this way. There ARE ways to stay stylish in cold weather. Here are just a few of them…   [Accessorize] 1. Wrap up Now, before you go sighing loudly and closing down the browser, berating us for telling you things…

What to wear to a christening

What to wear?

Of all of the questions The Fashion Police are asked on a daily basis, the most frequent are the ones beginning with the words “What to wear…?” We’ve answered quite a few of these now (some with the help of our readers), so, just in case you’re new around here, here are some of the posts we’ve written in a bid to answer that most important of all questions: what ON EARTH to wear? What to wear to a wedding We’ll probably all attend at least one wedding in our lifetimes (in fact, some summers it might feel like we’re attending at least one wedding every WEEK), but what to wear to a wedding remains one of the biggest sartorial…

How old is too old for skinny jeans?

Style SOS: How old is too old for skinny jeans?

This week, a lot of you have been finding The Fashion Police after asking Google the question, “How old is too old for skinny jeans?” It seems a lot of you are suddenly wondering if it’s time to hang up your jeans, so let us try to put you out of your misery and work out just how old IS too old for this particular look, anyway? For us, this question, and, indeed, any other fashion-related question beginning with the phrase “How old is too old for…” can be answered fairly easily: You’re too old for <insert fashion trend here> when it no longer looks good or feels comfortable. It’s a simple and as difficult as that, really. There’s no…

Winter Wardrobe Essentials for Women

[winter wardrobe essentials available at Oliver Bonas] A couple of weeks ago, we talked about the so-called “wardrobe essentials” we DON’T really need, and then we asked you to tell us about the ones you DO. Now, having consulted your suggestions and noted the common themes, we’re pleased to present The Fashion Police’s own list of what REALLY constitutes a “wardrobe essential”. Just to keep things simple, we’re sticking to one season at a time – in this case, winter – and before we go any further, we want to add a quick disclaimer to say that these are simply the items which were suggested most often by our readers: obviously not every woman is the same, so you may…

How to make cheap clothes look like designer clothes

How to make cheap clothes look like designer clothes*

 (*Well, almost like designer clothes…) In an ideal world, The Fashion Police would walk around clad head-to-toe in designer clothing. Everything we wore would be lovingly made from the highest-quality fabric, by the most skilled seamstresses the fashion world has to offer. (Actually, can we be totally honest here? Even if we miraculously became filthy rich overnight, we don’t think we’d be able to resist a quick look around our favourite high-street haunts every now and then. Low price doesn’t ALWAYS mean low quality, of course, and once a bargain hunter, always a bargain hunter…) But this isn’t an ideal world. Like many people, if we want to indulge our love of fashion, we often have to shop from the…