Winter 2011 Fashion Trends to Fear: Grandad Chic Meets Schoolboy Chic

Well, readers, if the stylists at ASOS.com are to be believed, this winter we’re all going to be dressing like this:

(Click here to buy it)

We’ll just let this disturbing image sink in for a minute.

Still with us? Got your eyeball bleach handy?

Trust us, you’re going to need it for this one…

First, the good news: the particular 2011 winter fashion trend we’re referring to ISN’T the shorts. Or the little tweed jacket. It’s not even the hat, although the fact that all of these items are available to buy at ASOS is, indeed, worrying.

It’s the socks and shoes combo:

Now, we put it to you, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police Jury, that either of these items would be bad enough on their own, worn with this outfit. The thick soled creepers, for instance, will make even the daintiest of feet look roughly the size of small boats, while black ankle socks should really only ever be worn with trousers, as far as we’re concerned. Pairs with shorts and black shoes, the look is very “elderly man at the beach”, and if that’s the look you’re aiming for, well, you’re probably on the wrong website.

So, at this point you’re probably thinking this is a one-off, aren’t you? A moment of madness by a stylish who thought Old Man Chic was the way to go with this particular outfit: or who just really hated the model. (Modelling is hard, remember.)

That’s the bad news. Unfortunately, by the time winter 2011 rolls around, Grandad Chic will have taken over your entire closet:

(click here to buy it)

Admit it: you’ve always wanted to wear black ankle socks with your mini kilt, haven’t you?

(Oh yeah, that was the other bit of bad news for you: mini kilts are back. It’ll be like the 90s all over again, but with added ankle socks.)

According to our survey, 9 out 10 grandads wouldn’t be seen dead in this outfit. Fashion victims would, though. Because it’s FASHUN. It is edgy. It’s, like so totally unexpected. It’s unintentionally hilarious:

(click here to buy)

All this model needs is a couple of grazes on her knees and she’d pass – from the waist down, anyway – for a small boy, playing in the street, in the 1950s or something.

As for this one, meanwhile:

(Click here to buy)

Well, the blouse is certainly more grandma than grandpa – and once again, with a dash of 1950s-schoolboy thrown in –  but the combination of sensible lace-ups, dark ankle socks (again!) and baggy, high waisted shorts is going to be unflattering on even the very best of us.

Luckily, help will soon be at hand, in the form of dozens of fashion editorials with titles like “How to wear this season’s schoolboy/grandpa crossover look!” In fact, The Fashion Police also have some advice for you on how to wear this look. Here it is:

DON’T.

Of course, as we’re just an imaginary police force, you’re free to completely ignore this advice. Will you, though? Do you think you could make this look work for you? 

12 Comments

  • July 27, 2011

    Clemency Cartillier via Facebook

    According to our survey, 9 out 10 grandads wouldn’t be seen dead in this outfit. Fashion victims would, though. Because it’s FASHUN. It is edgy. It’s, like so totally unexpected. It’s unintentionally hilarious:

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  • July 27, 2011

    msveve

    well, I personally happen to be a fan of creepers (see post here: http://msveve.blogspot.com/2011/07/shoe-challenge-136-back-home-but-still.html ) but not worn this way! Horrible styling and quite ugly pieces on their own as well, though I do like the first shirt (without the shorts and without the unflattering jacket)

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  • July 27, 2011

    Jeepster

    Except for the ridiculous shoes, I actually really like these looks! In fact I dressed a lot like that this past winter, and, um, maybe continue to do so… 😛

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  • July 27, 2011

    Stef

    I love creepers but I hate shorts so I won’t be working this specific look. Although I need to actually buy some creepers first XD, purple leopard print I’m thinking 😀

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  • July 27, 2011

    Bette

    White or colourful ankle socks with brogues – good.

    Woollen knee socks protruding from boots or wellies – good, in a ‘Land Girl’ sort of way.

    Sheer, lacy ‘sockette’ things with Hasbeen-style wedge sandals – silly, but cute.

    Black socks with boat-like creepers – bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

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  • July 27, 2011

    Maria Walsh via Facebook

    What i find most disturbing is that model looks to be the same age as my 12 yr old….

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  • July 28, 2011

    Kay

    My that IS an accurate description. The last photo, however, is very cute. I would wear that one (and that one only!) if the chance arose. But who wears shorts in Winter anyways?

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  • It’s definitely a style that looks more suited to a 12 year old!

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  • August 1, 2011

    deng

    I’m 4″11, and I actually love dressing like this. Heheh. 🙂 Lots of people say I don’t belong in this century, and I think that’s true!

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  • August 4, 2011

    kimi

    very cute outffits, obviously much better than the ethernal boring “dress of the day”. I just dont get it, what is wrong with this clothes? 🙂

    no. 3 – i will wear right now, the rest of them only if I was younger.
    I really hope that my little girl will wear this tipe of clothes when she grow rather then cheesy, tacky pop r&b style, or on the other side the boring too conventional clothing who just make young women look dull and prematurly old.

    I absolutley agreed about “ghetto dresses” posts, and generally about clothes hwo are the worst bad taste ever, but this ones, really?

    “Pairs with shorts and black shoes, the look is very “elderly man at the beach”, and if that’s the look you’re aiming for, well, you’re probably on the wrong website.”

    urgh.. clishee and stereotypes.. the same like “mum jeans” hwo is outdated just becose now “mum jeans” seems to be low waist boot cut if you look around :))
    yes. I use to like very much here, but now I think I am on the wrong website.
    too bad..

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  • August 10, 2011

    Kat

    Anything that can make a thin, young girl look so washed out and that does nothing for her inoffensive figure is guaranteed to make anyone else look pretty awful. I think you’d have to have hips to die for to make any of that look even slightly good.

    Those shoes make her look like a puppy that hasn’t grown into it’s paws yet. Is she actually 12? That would explain the whole issue with the ill fitting clothing.

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  • September 12, 2011

    Claudia

    Oh, these black shoes – it must be a production surplus from North Korea. In the bygone days of my youth I have worn these winter short suits when they were first in fashion (something like 1990), but with tights and ballet flats. I would love to do them today, but something literally retro never seems to work at my age… ;-(

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