Crimes of Fashion

Crimes of Fashion | Faces in Places

With summer in full swing, you may be thinking of hitting the beach or pool this weekend. Before you do, you might want to take a look at what NOT to wear, including…

bikini with bear's face

[Buy it at]

Now, it turns out that that’s a couple of bears on this bikini top. We’ll just give you a couple of seconds to let that sentence sink in. Now, bears don’t generally resemble nipples, but the placement of the nose here is REALLY unfortunate. Folks, if you don’t want people staring at you all day long, avoid any item of clothing which places round dots right over your nipples, seriously. That doesn’t JUST apply to swimwear, either: in fact, we have a long-held belief  (which we touched on in our recent ‘Strange Shoes’ post), that if an item of clothing has a face, there’s a good chance it’ll turn out to be a crime of fashion. For instance:

leopard print skirt with face

[from here]

This skirt arguably might not have needed the face to provide a handy visual clue that it’s a crime of fashion, but it certainly helps make it clearer, doesn’t it? In a similar vein:

catface skirt

[Buy it here]

Seriously, what is it with cats and crotches? SO many bad jokes come to mind, but we’re going to try and keep it (relatively) classy and let you come up with your own. If you thought the skirt above was interesting, however, take a look at these pants:

kitty crotch pants

[Buy them here]

Aaaand, again with the kitty-on-the-crotch. And a drop-crotch at that: although, in this particular case, we’re not sure the regular kind of crotch would be a whole lot better. And now we’ve typed the word “crotch” so many times it’s started to lose all meaning, so we’ll leave it there, and hand it over to you guys: what do you think of faces on clothes? Crime of fashion, or most wanted item?

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