Crotch or hips, crotch or hips? That’s the choice that lies before you today, readers. Would you rather have all of the droopy, excess material on your pants hanging loosely between your knees…or would you prefer to have it hanging loosely around your hips? Of course, you may well prefer not to have any droopy fabric on your trousers AT ALL, but that’s too bad, because this is Wear or Die, and that means you must choose one of the items above to wear… or you must die.
Which one would you choose? (Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION!)
It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser – so we thought it was high time we forced our readers to choose between two ugly items of clothing again!
For this Wear or Die, we’re dipping our toes into the murky waters of the shirt dress: for yes, readers, the two items you see before you are, indeed, dresses, not just ugly shirts. We’ve given you the choice here between two very different styles: the down-and-out option A (£60 at Topshop) , or the frilly, new-romantic style of option B (£25 at Desire Clothing). We wouldn’t want to wear either of them, personally, but what if you HAD to wear one? What if you had to choose one of these dresses: or die?
That’s the choice that’s before you now readers, so tell us: which one do you choose?
Shoes! With moustaches! They’re what we’ll all be wearing next summer, apparently: or so Louis Vuitton would have is believe. Both of these styles appeared on the runway as part of their Spring/Summer 2010 show, but luckily for you, you don’t have to wait until then to try them on, because we’re presenting them to you now, as part of this week’sWear or Die. You’re welcome!
Yes, readers, you must pick one of these shoes to wear in public – or you must die. But which ones will you choose? Leave your answers in the comments box, and remember: death is not an option!
London Fashion Week has been and gone, but we’re still having recurring nightmares about some of the pieces featured in the House of Holland show, so we figured, what the hell! Let’s make our readers choose one of these outfits to wear… or die! And then we laughed like cartoon villains.
The two outfits we’ve chosen for you both feature a dash of denim. Would you rather wear that denim placed strategically over your private parts, as in option A, however, or in the form of a denim bra, worn with big pants and lots of lace, like option B? The choice is yours: just remember, however, that you must choose one outfit to wear – in this game, death is NOT an option!
It’s been a while since we’ve played Wear or Die, but as soon as we laid eyes on the two pairs of pants shown above, we knew we had to try and force you to wear them: or one pair of them at least.
That’s the task before you now, readers: imagine that The Fashion Police have stolen all of your clothes. Instead, we present you with these two pairs of trousers (and OK, we’ll let you wear a top and shoes with them – we’re not that mean), with the warning that if you don’t choose one pair to wear, you must die. Now, clearly you’re not going to want to die over a pair of pants, so tell us: which ones will you choose to wear? On the left, Henrik Vibskov’s zig-zag stripe harem pants or, on the right, ‘Dancefloor Trousers’ by Unique at Topshop? The choice is yours: enjoy!
We're thinking of changing the name of this column to Jumpsuit or Die, purely because we're fairly certain that even if we live to be 100 years old, we still won't have time to round up all of the hideous jumpsuits that are drawn to our attention.
Today we bring you two creations that we think would make good choices for the Fashion Police prison uniforms. We must look into that. On the left, a denim jumpsuit by Alexander Wang, modelled by someone who was too ashamed to show her face. On the right, meanwhile, a denim jumpsuit from ASOS, modelled by, um, Rihanna.*
You, readers, must wear one of these jumpsuits or die. So, which one will you choose?
Paisley print is one of The Fashion Police's pet hates. We don't really know why this is: it just IS. And so while neither of the two dresses shown above would ever make it into our closet, who knows, those of you who don't share our dislike of all things paisley and voluminous will probably find this a particularly easy edition of Wear or Die.
This round of the game pits Marc Jacobs against Alexander McQueen, and mini against maxi. Which one would you wear, assuming you had to wear one – or die?
For this edition of Wear or Die, we've chosen to items of clothing connected only by the fact that they're both silver, and both on the shiny side. They're also both "on trend" (yes, that phrase makes us cringe, too), so who knows, you may even like one or both of them, in which case, this will be a relatively easy choice for you. So let's get on with making it, shall we?
It’s been a while since we’ve played
