Wear or Die: Choose between two ugly fashion items, or die

Wear or Die: Comme des Garcons Edition

ugly dresses comme des garcons Wear or Die: Comme des Garcons Edition

Which would you prefer, readers: to be naked but for an enormous cloud of black lace… or to be clothed, but looking like someone attacked your dress with the gardening shears?

That’s the question that faces you in this edition of Wear or Die, for today you must choose one of the two dresses above to wear in public: or you must die. (And no, you can’t wear something under or over them: they must be worn exactly as they’re shown.)

Which will you choose?

(Both dresses are by Comme des Garcons and are available at Yoox.com.)

Wear or Die: Tall and All printed hipster pants edition

Wear or die Tall and All edition Wear or Die: Tall and All printed hipster pants editionYou know the rules by now: you must choose one of the items above to wear, or you die.  And no, death is not really an option, so which pair of pants will it be?  The fruit and flowers hipsters (with the oranges, daisies and whatever the purple circles are)?  Or the lilac snakeskin print?

Make your choice and tell us in the comments!

Wear or Die: Terrible Trousers Edition

ugly trousers wear or die Wear or Die: Terrible Trousers Edition

Option A will make you look like a giant bell, and option B will make you look like a giant triangle. We don’t think either option is particularly desirable, but you must choose one of them anyway, because this is Wear or Die, and as you all know by now, if you don’t choose one, you die!

Now, no trousers in the world are worth dying over, so tell us, readers: if you were forced to wear one of these items in public, in order to save yourself from certain death, which trousers would you choose? Kris Van Assche’s tie-bottom “bell” trousers or Beyond the Valley’s “scary clown” triangle pants?

Wear or Die: Denim Dress Edition

denim dresses wear or die1 Wear or Die: Denim Dress Edition

If you love denim dresses, this edition of Wear or Die will be right up your, er, ranch. If you don’t love denim dresses, on the other hand… well, look at it this way: at least it’s better that death, right?

Death or denim, you see, is the choice that lies before you today, readers. You must choose one of the two dresses above to wear (in public, remember: no “Oh, I’ll just wear it around the house,” answers - that doesn’t count!), or you must die. Simple, isn’t it?

So, which one will you choose?

Option A: D&G silk denim-print pussybow dress
Option B: Democracy of Nevermind denim skirt jumper

Wear or Die: Couture Week Edition – Givenchy 2010

givenchy couture gowns Wear or Die: Couture Week Edition – Givenchy 2010Readers, you SHALL go to the ball!

Yes, your Fairy Godmother Fashion Police Officers have waved our magic wands, and tonight we’re taking you all out to the fanciest ball you can imagine. And what’s more, we’ve scored you a couple of couture gowns to wear too, courtesy of Givenchy. The only tiny problem? It’s the two dresses pictured above. And if you don’t choose one of them to wear to the ball? Well, you die. Them’s the breaks.

Which dress will you choose, then, assuming that you must wear one, or die? Tell us in the comments!

Wear or Die: Jason Wu Edition

jason wu dresses Wear or Die: Jason Wu Edition

Most of the time, Jason Wu gets it so right. Even the First Lady would agree, But when it goes wrong, it’s really very wrong isn’t it? Granted, these aren’t the worst dresses to be featured on Wear or Die, but we cant imagine Michelle Obama rocking either of these and being happy about it. So if you had to, would you wear this Jason Wu ostrich feather dress (a mere £3,315 for all that glue gun action) or this bright yellow number (just £1865 to look like a bumble bee):

It’s over to you! Which would you rather? Birds or bees?

Wear or Die: Shressed to Impress

wear or die shresses Wear or Die: Shressed to Impress

Readers, we’re taking you out for the evening. Fancy party, posh frocks – you know the drill. And don’t worry, it’s all on The Fashion Police – even the clothes, in fact, because here’s the rub: you’re going to have to wear one of these two dresses from our jail. Yes, it’s time for a game of Wear or Die, and that means you either choose one of these to wear or… you die. Simple. (We’d really rather not have to kill you, though, so we’re hoping you’ll play along. Seriously, what’s a bit of VPL amongst friends, anyway?)

As for the dresses, Option A is by Shakuhachi, while Option B is Gareth Pugh. Which would you choose, if you had to wear one… or die?

Wear or Die: Crotch Vs Hips

crotch or hips Wear or Die: Crotch Vs Hips

Crotch or hips, crotch or hips? That’s the choice that lies before you today, readers. Would you rather have all of the droopy, excess material on your pants hanging loosely between your knees…or would you prefer to have it hanging loosely around your hips? Of course, you may well prefer not to have any droopy fabric on your trousers AT ALL, but that’s too bad, because this is Wear or Die, and that means you must choose one of the items above to wear… or you must die.

Which one would you choose? (Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION!)

(Option A: Givenchy, £1073.70, Option B: Matthew Williamson ,£534)