Wear or Die: Holes

Wear or Die has been on hiatus for a few weeks, but after yesterday's Porthole Sweater, we couldn't resist investigating the phenomenon of "clothes with holes" a little further, and after taking these two outfits into custody, well, it was only natural that we'd think to ourselves, "Hey! What if our readers had to wear one of these - or die?"

And so it is that we present you with an difficult choice - choose one of these outfits to wear, or choose death. (But please don't choose death, because that's just no fun now, is it?). On the left, a holey dress (no, you can't wear something underneath it, sorry), and on the right, a pair of holey leggings and a holey top. (And no, you can't wear anything over them either...).

Both items comes from Cyberdog - but which one would you choose to wear, assuming you HAD to wear one or die?

Wear or Die: Nice day for an ugly wedding dress!

We know we've marched our readers down the aisle before as part of Wear or Die, but damn, if those ugly wedding dresses don't keep on coming! As you all know by now, The Fashion Police have no mercy, either, so today your choice is to choose one of these fine outfits to wear on the happiest - but worst dressed - days of your life.

The dress on the right is made from fake fur. The outfit on the left, meanwhile, is... yeah. To make things just a little bit easier on you, though, we're going to break our own rules for once and allow you to wear something to cover your girls underneath the top of that one. Don't say we're not good to you.

Now, what's it to be, readers: which wedding dress will you choose, knowing that you must choose one or DIE?

Wear or Die: print dresses

We were a little bit stumped as to what to give you for this week's Wear or Die, so we decided to take a look inside the Fashion Police jail and see what we could come up with. As you can imagine, there was no shortage of ugly items there, but we finally narrowed it down to the selections you can see above. On the left, a Matthew Williamson dress from July of 2007, on the right, a dress from Topshop's Archive Collection of the same month.

Both of these dresses had us reaching for the Fashion Police handcuffs, but we're now letting them out on parole, purely so you can play Wear or Die with them. You're welcome!

The rules of the game: you must choose one item to wear, or... well, we kill you. Death is not an option. Neither is wearing the item in the privacy of your own home. These must be worn in public, exactly as they're shown here. Which will you choose?

Wear or Die: Shiny!

The Fashion Police were forced to impound another consignment of Great Glam stock this week. We would've just thrown it all straight into the jail, but then we thought, "What's the fun in that when we could force our readers to wear it?" So here you are, folks, welcome to another Wear or Die, featuring the 'Gilded Dreams' jumpsuit on the left and the 'Illusionist' dress on the right, which has to be viewed from the back to be truly appreciated.

Remember, you will be wearing the item you choose in public, so you can't opt to hide away somewhere in it, and nor are you allowed to cover it up in any way. The game is Wear or Die, and your task is to choose which one of these two items you'd wear if your choice was either that, or death. Tell us your choice in the comments, and have fun!

Wear or Die: Acne edition

Acne have amazed us on more than one occasion lately, so who better than they to provide us with this week's Wear or Die options?

First of all, some ground rules:

1. You must choose one outfit to wear - or die, mwa-ha-ha!

2. You must wear the outfit in public, so no answers along the lines of "the second one, but I'll make sure I don't leave the house all day!" are permitted. We're mean like that, sorry.

3. You may not cover the item up in any way, so no "I'll take the dress and wear a coat over the top", unfortunately.

With that said, all that remains is for us to pose the question: will you wear the strangely ruffled dress on the right, which isn't exactly flattering to the figure, or will you go for the drop-crotch-pants-and-cardi combo on the left, which - and here's the catch - must be worn with the shoes pictured. Well, we did say we were mean...

So, which outfit will you choose, readers?

Wear or Die: One extreme or the other?

For today's game of Wear or Die we thought we'd show you some extremes of style, and find out which side you'd come down on, assuming that you absolutely had to choose one or die. On the left of the picture above, then, you'll see Peggy Noland's 'Missbehave' leggings (yes, the text says "Missbehave", in case you were wondering), while on the right is a Victorian nightgown, whoops, we mean dress, by Comme des Garcons.

Which will you choose to wear, though? Will you "missbehave" in the leggings (and before you ask, no, you may not wear something over the top of them to cover them up - the leggings must be on show at all times!) or will you behave a little too well in the nightgown dress? Tell us in the comments!

Wear or Die: Footwear edition

With winter hard upon us, it's time to stock up on warm winter footwear, folks. Or actually, scratch that: let's just stock up on totally impractical peep toe footwear instead, shall we? And let's make it ugly, into the bargain! Well, it is Wear or Die, and that's how it goes in this game, unfortunately...

Before you stand two boots. On the left, a black peep toe boot which has been forced inside a cheap copy of Balenciaga's famous lego shoes. On the right, meanwhile,  a frightening take on the summer's gladiator trend from a brand called "Promiscuous Tempt". Er, yeah.

Your task then, readers, is to choose one of the options above to wear. Oh, and if you don't choose one? You die! Leave a comment to tell us what you'd wear and how you'd wear it...

Wear or Die: Playsuits

After the couture crimes we've been featuring in Wear or Die recently, we thought you might want to slip into something a little more comfortable - or actually, maybe not when you find out that by "comfortable" we mean "a playsuit". And by "a playsuit", we mean "one of the two playsuits pictured above". Ah. The "nylons over the face" look from the Martin Margiela show are starting to seem like a good idea all of a sudden, no?

Still, whatever you think of them (and who knows, you may even like them, in which case this'll be an easy game for you), you must pick one of the outfits above, and you must wear it - or die. Will it be Topshop's leopard print all-in-one, though, or would you prefer to be seen out and about in Grey Ant's "bloomer suit"? (A word from the wise here: you may just want to check out the back view of that one before making your decision....)

Tell us, then, readers: which of these would you wear if you had to wear one, or die?

Wear or Die: Paris Fashion Week Edition

Welcome to this week's Wear or Die, folks, and before you ask, no, you may NOT choose to wear nylons over your face like these models. Because that would be cheating, wouldn't it, and anyway, you're going to want everyone to see you in your lovely new hot-off-the-Paris-catwalk duds, aren't you? Well, OK, maybe not, but Wear or Die is the name of the game, and as that name suggests, your task is to choose one of these outfits to wear. If you don't pick one? You die. And maybe you'll want to, who knows...

Both of this week's choices come from Maison Martin Margiela's S/S 09 collection. Will you choose to wear the, er, hair suit on the left, though, or do you prefer the half suit/half naked body effect on the right? The choice is yours!

Wear or Die: London Fashion Week edition

Of all the fashion weeks around the world, London is The Fashion Police's favourite, because it's at London Fashion Week that all of the youngest, freshest and, dare we say it, craziest designers tend to to come out to play.

Both of the outfits above come from Christopher Kane's S/S 09 show, which was pretty darn cool to look at, it has to be said. Would you actually wear it, though? And if so, which outfit would you wear? Sadly for you (or perhaps not, if you like these), you don't actually have the option to say "no" to that first question, because this is Wear or Die, and that means you have to chose one of these outfits to wear, or... die. Simple, no?

So, which one's it gonna be?

Wear or Die: Project Runway Edition

Project Runway is a great show, isn't it? It's always entertaining to see all that creativity being unleashed, and clearly these outfits are more about showcasing the creativity of their designers rather than creating clothes for real women to wear. In public.

What if you had to wear one of these outfits in public, though? What if it was either that, or death? Well, that's the choice facing you this week, we're afraid, readers. You must wear either Blayne and Stella's "nude suit" with, er, embellishments, or Kenley and Wesley's huge shouldered ensemble - or you must die.

So what's it going to be?

Wear or Die: New York Fashion Week Edition - Hervé Léger swimwear S/S 09

OK, folks, we know summer's gone and it's hardly beach weather, but grab your cossies because we're taking you to the beach anyway. Or actually, on second thoughts, forget the cossies - we'll supply those for you, and boy do we have a treat for you today, because we've managed to score you a couple of Hervé Léger one pieces, fresh from the New York catwalk!

You'll be the belle of the beach in these beauties, but which one will you choose to wear, we wonder. Will you look weirdly indecent, even although you're totally covered up in the black number, or will you choose to turn heads by giving the appearance of being naked in the "nude" coloured suit on the right? The choice is yours readers, but remember, if you don't choose to wear one of these outfits to the beach with us today (no, you can't just sit around at home in it!), you must die!

Which one will you choose?

Wear or Die: Clubwear Edition

Folks, grab your coats - we're taking you clubbing. Actually, on second thoughts, forget the coats - you see, this is clubbing Wear or Die style, and you wouldn't want to hide the pretty clothes we've got picked out for you, would you?

This week we've gone searching through the clubwear section of our cells, and we've unearthed these two little beauties for you to try. You may be thinking the item on the left is a dress, but think again: this is actually a jumpsuit, although whether that makes it better or worse is up to you to decide. Decide you must, though, because it's either wear this, wear the dress next to it - or die. So, what's it going to be?

(If you're new to Wear or Die, the rules of the game can be found here)

Wear or Die: Jump(Suit) for your life!

This week's dose of style-related torture comes to you, not from The Fashion Police ourselves, but from reader Helen, who hit up eBay on our behalf and found these two jumpsuits - one of which you must wear, or die!

You know the rules: you must pick one item to wear, and give us the reasons for your choice in the comments section. What's it going to be, though: the bright pink "Barbie does Dallas" jumpsuit on the left or the fetching skull-suit on the right? Remember, if you don't choose one, you die - so choose well, dear readers!

P.S. - if you're choosing the skull suit, you may want to take a look at the back view first...

Wear or Die: Moon Spoon Saloon

This week's edition of Wear or Die is brought to us by new fashion label Moon Spoon Saloon. While some members of the fashion blogging fraternity are currently applauding Moon Spoon Saloon for being "different" and "intriguing", there are others who, while acknowledging this to be the case, are simply looking at their work and saying, "Hey, if people were forced to wear one of these outfits or die, I wonder which one they'd choose?"

Guess which group we're in?

So, which outfit will you choose, folks? The puffy clown suit on the left or the little leather number on the right? The choice is yours, you lucky, lucky people!

Wear or Die! 80s fashion

We're pleased to say that after our plea for help last week, some of you decided to take pity on your poor Fashion Police, and submit some Wear or Die outfits for us to torture you all with.

This week's submissions come from Han, so you have her to blame for the fact that today you're going back to the 80s, wearing either an acid wash 80s jumpsuit (left) or... a pink 80s jumpsuit (right). Neither are exactly what you'd call "attractive", but of course, that's not what Wear or Die is about, so if you'd kindly choose one of these fine items to wear, at least you know you'll be able to escape death for one more week.

Which outfit would you choose if you had to wear one, or die? Answers in the comments box...

Wear or Die: Black or white?

As Michael Jackson once so eloquently put it, "If you're thinking 'bout my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white". When you're playing Wear or Die with The Fashion Police, however, it might matter to you if you're wearing black or white, because neither of these choices are particularly attractive ones, in our opinion at least.

This is the choice that faces you today, though, dear readers: you must wear one of these two dresses, or die. So what'll it be: black or white?

Wear or Die: Animal Instincts

The Fashion Police have noticed that a lot of our readers don't like animal print. This is a shame, because guess what we have for you to try on for this week's Wear or Die? Did you guess "animal print"? Good guess!

Yes, today your choice is between the leopard print leggings on the left, or the dress on the right, which seems to used the prints of quite a few animals to create this, umm, "unique" effect. Poor animals. And poor you, because, according to the rules of the game, if you don't choose one of these items to wear, you die!

Which leaves our only remaining question: which item will you choose?

Wear or Die: Customised skirts

For this week's Wear or Die we've ventured into the wild and not-very-wonderful territory of the customised skirt, bringing back these two little beauties for you all to try on.

You know the rules of the game: you must choose one of these items to wear - or you must die. Sorry. So, which is it going to be: Tweetie Pie or Jane of the Jungle? Little-girl-in-a-mini-skirt or... well, Jane of the Jungle. The tacky jungle.

The choice is yours, dear readers - just remember that if you don't choose, you die!*

*Note: not really

Wear or Die: Gonna dress you up in my fug

It's time for another Wear or Die, folks - the game where everyone's a loser, because they have to either choose an ugly item of clothing to wear, or die.

Today, we've searched high and low for the ugliest items around. We finally found them on eBay (the dress on the left) and Metropark (right) and now that we've found them, we're going to sit back and wait while you decide which of these fine items of clothing you'd choose to wear, assuming that you had to wear one - or die!

What's your choice? 

Wear or Die: The Bottom Half

Who wears short shorts? Why, you do, dear reader - but only if you pick the Burfitt High Gilla Check Shorts on the left of the above image as the item you'd wear in order to escape death today in this edition of Wear or Die: the game where everyone's either fugly or dead. Should you pick the high waisted, tapered-leg, pleat-front pants on the right, however, you may not find yourself feeling much more comfortable, on account of how you'll be wearing one of the most unflattering shapes ever to come out of the 80s.

Still, you know the rules: you must pick one item to wear, because trust us, or you must die. So, what's your choice?

Wear or Die: All White on the Night

Throw away your little black dresses, folks! White is where it's at - or it is when it's Wednesday afternoon and it's time to play Wear or Die, anyway...

Today your choice is between the two dresses shown above. We don't care whether you decide to flaunt your figure in the skintight "I'm totally not wearing any underwear with this" dress on the left, or the "Don't you think shredded loo roll makes excellent party clothes?" number on the right. All we care about is that you choose to wear one of them - or die!

Tell us your choice in the comments field below!

Wear or Die: Panic at the Disco!

The collection these outfits come from is called The Disco Collection, so we're assuming that's where you're supposed to wear them, although we reckon it'll be a case of 'panic at the disco' indeed if you try wearing either one of these on a crowded dance floor...

Of course, we jest: we know these are art, dahlinks, but we still thought it might be fun to make you all choose one of them to wear - or die! So, what's it to be, Fashion Police cadets? Will you choose to possibly disembowel people with your dress, or would you prefer to go for the "It's going to be fun trying to sit down in it" skirt? Play Wear or Die with us, and tell us which one you'd choose!

Wear or Die: We bet that you'll look good on the dance floor...

It's party time, people! And as everyone knows, there ain't no party like a Fashion Police party - especially when everyone's wearing ugly outfits, handpicked by us!

This week you'll be hitting the dance floor in one of the dresses above: either Goddiva's red foil party dress or Julia Clancy's leopard print 'Latoyah' smock, which isn't actually a dress at all, but which will look very J.Lo worn with a pair of stilettos and a diva attitude.

We're sure you'll all look just lovely no matter which you chose to wear, of course, but which is it going to be? (Remember that if you don't wear one... you die!)

Wear or Die: Pretty in Pink

Pink: it makes the boys wink, apparently. Will they be winking at you in one of these beauties, though, that is the question?  On the left, we have Wet Seal's 'Cold Shoulder' butterfly dress (and before you ask, no, you can't wear it with jeans, leggings or anything else - you have to wear it the way it's shown, although we'll let you choose your own shoes. We're all heart.) On the right, meanwhile, we have Goddiva's 'Kate' chiffon dress, which is apparently in the style of Kate Middleton. Eh?!

Goddiva say the Kate dress is "perfect for a romantic dinner", so let's assume that's what we're picking outfits for today. So, two pink dresses, two very different styles - but which one will you choose to wear assuming that you must wear one, or die?

Wear or Die: Mom "fashion"

"Kids? Time to come on in now - we got your ugly clothes all ready for you!"

Yes, for this week's Wear or Die, we're trying something a little different, so while these clothes won't exactly burn the retinas of your eyes, they're not going to be winning you any style awards either. In fact, they'll make you look like someone's mom.

The choice, then, has been laid before you: you can either wear "mom jeans" or ... a skort. The catch is that if you don't wear one of them - you die!

Drop us a comment to tell us your answer!

Wear or Die: Ugly Sweaters

Ho ho ho! We know it's not Christmas, but here at Wear or Die, every season is the season for Ugly Sweaters, and today we want to ask you: suppose you absolutely had to wear one of the sweaters above - or die? Which one would you choose? Would it be the "scary snowman", peeping coyly around your breastbone on the left of the picture above, or will you go for the scary... what the hell are those things, anyway? - in pepto bismol pink? The choice is yours, folks, but remember: you must choose one - or die!

Wear or Die: Freaky flats

We love Office, we do. But as we took our usual weekly stroll through the shoe sections this morning, we couldn't help but notice that something strange was going on with some of the flats. Something that made us scratch our heads and say, "Hmmm, if people had to wear one pair of these shoes, or die, which pair would they choose?"

Well, we're about to find out. You can wear the nautical slip ons, featuring just about every print known to man, or you can go for the slightly more grown up be-fringed lace-ups. But if you don't go for one of them... you die, simple as that!

Tell us which you'd choose and why...

Wear or Die: Swimwear section

It's almost summer, which means it's time to start thinking about swimwear. Of course, most of us would probably prefer not to think about the types of swimwear pictured above, which kinda scream out "I have absolutely no intention of swimming, but LOOK AT ME anyway!", but that's too bad because The Fashion Police are going to make you think about them. In fact, we're going to go even further than that and make you pick one to wear. If you don't wear one, you die*. Simple!

Yes, folks, it's this week's edition of Wear or Die and we want to know which of these two swimsuits you'd wear if you had no other choice. Will it be the "belly window" white number, or the slightly less revealing black one which, sadly, has the Victoria's Secret logo stamped all over it, just to keep the fug count high. Tell us! (Or, you know... die.)

* Note: Not really. Just pretend. No one call the cops.

Wear or Die: Teen fashion

The world of teen fashion isn't one that's often address here at The Fashion Police because, let's face it, it's kind of a lawless land. We all know that teenagers wear - and occasionally even get away with - things that we adults just wouldn't even consider trying on. Until now, that is.

Before you are two pairs of pants, both from Hot Topic, and both ugly in their own unique ways. Will you go for the oversized flares, accessorised with strips of tartan, or would you prefer to keep it skinny,and wear your shoelaces where you can see them - all the way up your legs? The choice is yours, but remember, you must pick one of them - or die!

[Wear or Die: the rules] 

Wear or Die: 70s fashion

The words "70s" and "style" don't really go together, but then again, neither did many of the items of clothing people chose to wear during that particular era, so we felt a journey back in time to the days of double denim and high waist pants was long overdue here at Wear or Die.

Now, you may well think the outfiit on the right isn't particularly 70s, or, indeed, particularly nasty, particularly if you happen to be a fan of high waists and braces. Perhaps the fact that we're going to force you to wear the hairstyle shown, complete with yellow ribbons, will change your mind, or maybe the horrors of the denim ensemble on the left will still be too much for you to bear: we're about to find out.

Leave your comment below to tell us which outfit you'd choose to wear, assuming you had to wear one - die!

(Pictures from one of our very favourite blogs, the mighty Plaid Stallions...)

Wear or Die: Prom dresses

After rounding up all of those ugly prom dresses yesterday, it occurred to us that while it's all very well to show you ugly prom dresses, it would be even more fun to actually make you wear them. For this week's Wear or Die, then, you shall go to the ball, Cinderella and your Fairy Godmother (The Fashion Police, naturally) has waved her magic wand and procured not one, but TWO dresses for you to wear!

Which one's it going to be then, Cinders? Will you go pink and floral or, er, pink, yellow, peach and floral? The choice is yours!

(Thanks to Fashion Police Officer Vera for sending in these dresses!)

Wear or Die: Celebrity Edition- Melissa George or January Jones

Last week's Wear or Die proved to be just a little bit too tricky, with most of you agreeing that actually, you really would rather die than wear either of those outfits, and to hell with the rules! We don't blame you.

This week, then, we've decided to be kind(er) and give you the choice of two outfits actually worn by real people this week. The two people in question are none other than Melissa George, who rocked up to the Salavtore Ferragamo 80th Anniversary party wearing her granny's bedspread, and January Jones, whose strange mish-mash of a dress is very Wear or Die...

You have to choose one of them, folks, so whose clothes will you be borrowing for the evening? Melissa's or January's?

Wear or Die: Covered up

We know from previous editions of Wear or Die that you're not so keen on flashing the flesh - and we don't really blame you. This week, then, we've decided to be kind to you and let you wear something that keeps you all covered up. Unfortunately, it's what you'll be covered up in that you might not like...

On the right, we have a knitted jumpsuit by Cooperative Designs that'll certainly keep you all warm and cosy in the unseasonably freezing weather we've been having lately. On the right, a little something from Comme des Garcon's Spring 08 collection - and before you go thinking this is the easy option, know that this isn't a real dress - it's just a fake dress stuck onto your front. Yes.

What's it to be then, folks: will you choose to dress like an overgrown toddler or a cartoon character? And don't you just wish that death was an option?    

Wear or Die: Leggings or shell suit?

Ever opened your wardrobe and cried "I've nothing to wear"? Well, if you have, we just bet you've never meant it quite as much as you will today when you discover that, whoops, The Fashion Police have stolen all your clothes again, leaving you with just two choices - and what choices they are!

Today, you see, your choice is between these fetching animal print metallic leggings (which, we regret to tell you, you must wear with the shoes pictured, and with nothing covering the crotch) and a shell suit. Yes, a shell suit. It's either that or die, my friends, and given that dying is against the rules, you're going to have to make a choice.

Which will it be?

Wear or Die: Wedding dresses

Congratulations! You're getting married! Only maybe you won't feel too much like celebrating once you take a look at what we have for you to wear... Yes, for your big day, that one time in your life when all eyes will be upon you, you'll be wearing one of the two dresses shown above - and before you ask, no, you're not allowed to take the scissors to them and do a little bit of snipping to make them slightly more palatable. You're stuck with them as they are.

Still, you can't very well go nude (no, really, you can't it's against the rules), and you wouldn't want to die on your wedding day, so it looks like you're going to have to make the choice - which one is your wedding dress?

[Images from our favourite wedding blog, Bridalwave]  

Wear or Die: Footwear edition

It's been a while since we ventured into the wonderful (and sometimes downright frightening) side of footwear for Wear or Die, and we thought it was about time we rectified that, so today we're pitting Underground England's pink platforms against Victoria's Secret's Moccasin boots. Yes, those are feathers. No, you cannot hide them under the legs of your trousers. Hee!

Sadly, the boots are no longer available at the Victoria's Secret website, but don't go breakin' your hearts over it, because you can try on a virtual pair right here at The Fashion Police by telling which of these pieces of footwear you'd choose to wear if you had to wear one of 'em - or die!

The Rules 

Wear or Die: Clubwear Edition

It's time to go clubbing, folks. Yay! But wait... what on earth are you going to wear? Well, worry not, your friendly Fashion Police have got that covered. We've been on a shopping spree to Great Glam and we picked you up the see through dress on the left and the "front wedgie" top (ouch!) on the right, which you may wear with the low-rise pants of your choice. Don't worry, you can thank us later.

Oh, there's just one thing, though: if you don't wear one of these two items, you die. Sorry, them's the breaks. Tell us then: see through dress or front wedgie top - what's it gonna be?

[The Rules]

Wear or Die: Milan Fashion Week Edition

The Fashion Week train rumbles on this week, stopping in Milan, where we spotted these two outfits at the D&G show and couldn't resist forcing y'all to either wear one of them... or die! Mwaa-ha-ha!

Your choice this week is a straightforward one, gentle readers. You can either wear the dead carcass of one of the muppets (left), accessories with tartan tights and headscarf, or you can dress as a 70s reject (right), all paisley patterns and mustard yellow, and with someone's old carpet on your legs. What's it to be? Tell us in the comments...

(The Rules)

Wear or Die: London Fashion Week Edition - space suit or sperm?

There's no rest for The Fashion Police at London Fashion Week. Having just taken into custody a skirt made from thongs, we were called out again to deal with the two outfits above, namely Louise Goldin's space-age jump suit (left) and this intriguing creation by Jean-Pierre Braganza, which looks to us like a giant sperm suit, albeit one with a with protective, furry coat.

Rather than arrest these items, though, we decided to put them to good use, in Wear or Die. So, what's it to be, folks: you have to wear either the space suit or the sperm suit - if you don't wear one of them, you die. Which will you choose?

The Rules | More Wear or Die

Wear or Die: New York Fashion Week Edition

We've called this the "New York Fashion Week" edition of Wear or Die,but it would actually be more accurate to describe it as the "Bestsey Johnson edition" because it was Betsey, bless her, who brought both of these outfits to the New York runway earlier this week.

Regular readers will already know the drill: you have to wear one of these outfits, in its entirety, or die. But what's it going to be? Will you choose to wear the outfit on the left, comprising an 80s-style jumper (with gun print, no less!) worn with camel-toe inducing shiny leggings, or will you simply choose to dress up as Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver, in the outfit on the right? The choice is yours...

(The Rules)

Wear or Die: Thong jeans or animal print?

It's time for another game of Wear or Die, and we're feeling pretty mean today so let's just say we're glad it's you and not us who has to make this particular choice. For today's game we've delved back into our archives and come up with a pair of the famous "bikini pant jeans" which so turned our stomachs last year. We've put these up against this fabulous animal print cat suit (you don't have to pull an expression like this model's, but you get extra points if you do.)

So, what's it to be, folks: you have to wear one of these outfits or die - and if you've read the rules you'll know that death is just not an option in this game, so better make your minds up fast...

Wear or Die: Hammer Pants V. Crocs

It's that time again, folks. "What time is that?" we hear you ask. Well, that's up to you. It's either Hammer Time, or it's Crocs-time.  Yes, it's time to play Wear or Die, and all we can say is, "rather you than us", because today you have a hard choice to make. You must either wear these neon pink Hammer Pants, found today on eBay, or you must wear a pair of pink Crocs Mammoth. (No, you may not wear the Crocs with super-long pants, to hide them.) You must wear one of these items... or die. So, which is it going to be?

(The Rules)

Wear or Die: Chanel V. Balenciaga

You're off out for the evening: you choose the venue, but make sure it's a pretty swanky one, because for this night out, we've pulled out all the stops for you, getting hold of two designer outfits which you can have your pick of. There's just one problem. The two outfits in question are this attractive denim ensemble from Chanel's S/S 08 collection (which you may remember seeing on Keira Knightley earlier this week), and a dress from Balenciaga's recent Resort collection which will make you look like a giant cartoon character.

Oh, and there's one other problem. You have to wear one of them - or die. So, which is it going to be?

Wear or Die: The Rules

Wear or Die: Ugly Prom Dresses

It's Prom Time! Hooray! You're so excited and you can't wait to get all dressed up, but wait... when you open your closet, you find a catastrophe has occurred: it's those pesky Fashion Police again - they've cleaned out your closet and left you with just two dresses to choose between, and, unfortunately for you, it's the two dresses pictured above. You must wear one of them to the prom - or die.

So, which will it be? Will you rock up as a Shiny Cinderella, in layers of blue metallic fabric (and lace!) or will you decide to go to the other extreme, and bare it all in this slutty pink design! The choice, dear readers, is yours!

(To help you along, we've written some simple RULES which you can read before making your decision.)

Wear or Die: American Apparel edition

Say you're at the gym. You reach for your kit bag, but.. oh no! What's this? Those pesky Fashion Police have swapped it for a bag of their own. A bag containing only American Apparel's Lamé Suspender Swimsuit,  a pair of their metallic hot shorts, and a note. With trembling fingers, you open the note and read one single line:

"Wear one of these items - or die! Mwaa ha ha!"

The choice is yours: you can either take a dip in the swimsuit, or work out in the hotpants (which you may wear with a top of your choice - as long as it doesn't cover the pants, natch.).  Which will it be?

Wear or Die: Cheap Monday jeans

Cheap Monday have been troubling us for some time now. From mom jeans to crazy, high waisted creations, they can be Fashion Criminals par excellence when they really put their minds to it - so much so that we're soon going to be forced to create a Fashion Police Special Force just for them if they don't pull their crotch socks up. But just say you had to wear a pair of Cheap Monday's less aesthetically pleasing creations - or die. And, just to add to your dilemma, just say the only two pairs of Cheap Monday jeans available to you were the pairs shown above. Which would you choose?

I have to say, the jeans on the left of this picture make me wriggle with discomfort every time I look at them, but then, I'm not so keen on the "I spilled two different colours of paint on my white skinny jeans, but I'm wearing them anyway" look, either. You could hide the Crotch From Hell under a longline sweater, but you'd never be able to hide those Jester Legs... but then again, at least you'd be able to sit down in them.

No, it's just too hard to decide, so I'm turning it over to you, Fashion Police readers. Which pair would you wear, if you had to wear one... or die?

Wear or Die, celebrity edition: Keyshia Cole v. Piper Perabo

Beige is back, apparently. Over the last few days we've seen celebrity after celebrity looking almost nude as they trip out onto the red carpet in the colour that really isn't much of a colour at all. Now, I like beige. It can look great if worn well, or it can also look... well, it can also look like the outfits worn by Keyshia Cole and Piper Perabo, above. Now, maybe you like these outfits, maybe you don't. My question to you though, is: if you had to wear one of these outfits, or die, which one would you choose? The "bra over t-shirt" look sported by Keyshia (no, that's not what she's really wearing - it just looks like it) or the shapeless sack of Piper's?

For myself, I think I'd go with Keyshia's look. There's an outside chance of being able to pull this one off, and as "quirky" outfits go, I think she's managing it not too badly. Piper's sack dress, on the other hand, would make me look like I was drowning in a sea of beige, and that's never a good look.

Enough about me, though. What about you? Which outfit would you wear... or DIE!

Wear or Die: Irregular Choice shoes

Time for another game of Wear or Die, and this week we're playing with two pairs of Irregular Choice shoes. IC, of course, are well known for their unconventional, shall we say, approach to footwear, and while I'd argue that there are one or two absolute gems in the collection, well, these two aren't among them. Now, I dare say some of you are shuddering in horror at the very thought of wearing either of these shoes, but what if you HAD to wear a pair... or die? Which shoes would you pick: the scary skeleton shoes on the left of the picture or the "grandma's gone mad in the sewing box again" ones on the right?

Remember, the rules state that you MUST pick one pair - and don't forget to tell us the reason for your choice!

Wear or Die: Which dress would YOU wear, assuming you had no other choice?

The last Urban Outfitters fashion crime we featured here came from the UK website, so just in case our international visitors are feeling left out, how about these two beauties, found at Ugly Outfitters America? Nice, aren't they?

Now, we couldn't quite make our minds up which of these two was the ugliest, so we thought we'd play a little game to brighten up this rainy Thursday afternoon. The rules are simple: image you HAVE to wear one of these dresses. Your life depends on it: there is no choice. Which would you choose, and why?