Wear or Die

wear or die

Wear or Die | Comme des Garcons Fall 2014 Edition

There’s good news with this week’s edition of Wear or Die: the game in which you must choose to wear one of two ugly outfits – or die. [Insert evil laugh here.] The good news? These AREN’T the two outfits we’re going to ask you to choose between: Seriously, you’d just choose death, wouldn’t you. Even although – say it with us, people – DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. But while these two looks may arguably be considered “art”, when it comes to actually trying to WEAR them, we forsee a slight problem – which is more than can be said for the wearer or these outfits, who wouldn’t be able to see much at all. (Kudos to the models…

WEAR or DIE? | Cut-out dress edition

Wear or Die is a Fashion Police weekly dilemma in which we ask you to choose between two outfits, selected by us. You must wear one of them – or die. Which will you choose? Here’s this week’s selection: OPTION A | OPTION B This week’s WEAR or DIE could probably have been titled “boobs or butt”. Let’s face it: that’s what these two dresses are all about, and you’re almost guaranteed to end up flashing one or the other, depending on which option you choose. Giving the phrase “body-conscious” a whole new meaning, Option A comes with a serious risk of VPL (not to mention  some interesting tan lines if you wear it during the day), while Option B…

Wear or Die | Ashish Fall 2014 Edition

WEAR OR DIE is a Fashion Police game in which we choose two ugly outfits, and you decide which one you’d wear if you HAD to wear one… or die. This week,  things have taken a decidedly frilly turn… Both of these looks are from the Ashish Fall 2014 collection, which is kind of a double-denim-meets-sea-creatures-meets-sequins affair. Marvellous. We’ll just pause here so you can tell us that it’s OMGART and we JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. Got that off your chest? OK, on with the fun part… or the Not So Fun part, depending on how you look at it. It’s fun for US, obviously, but it’s possibly Not So Fun for you, because you’re the one who’s going to have to…

Wear or Die | Big Bird or Daffy Duck?

Wednesdays at TheFashionPolice.net mean Wear or Die: the game in which we choose two ugly outfits, and ask you to wear one… or die. This week, although we know the Fall 2014 collections are currently being paraded at New York Fashion Week, we couldn’t resist going back to the (recent) past, to bring you these two little beauties: Option A is a Big Bird costume (complete with sexy thigh cut outs. Sesame Street was never like this in our day…) from Jeremy Scott’s current collection. Although it appeared on the runway, we haven’t actually seen this for sale anywhere, so it may never have actually made it into production. We can’t think why: seriously, who WOULDN’T want to walk around…

Wear or Die | Comme des Fashion Criminals

It’s Wednesday – or “Wear or Die Day” as we like to think of it here at Fashion Police HQ, and that means it’s time to play everyone’s least-favourite game! Today’s edition of Wear or Die features these two creations from the Comme des Garcons Spring/Summer 2014 collection: Totes artistic, as we’re sure someone is about to tell us, but the problem with that is, we’re not asking you to hang them on your wall, or admire them from a distance, are we? No, we’re asking you to WEAR them. On your body. And in public. Without making any modifications, or attempting to hide them in any way. Oh yeah, and if you DON’T choose one of them to wear?…

Wear or Die | The Return!

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game in which everyone’s a loser – so let’s have a quick recap of the rules… First, we present you with two outfit options: Option A | Option B Next, you must choose one of these outfits to wear, in public, and without doing anything to conceal it : so you can’t, for instance, say “Oh, I’ll take Option A, but I’ll wear a coat over the top and a bag over my head!” Doesn’t work that way, sorry. If you don’t choose one of the two items to wear? You die. Simple. Oh yeah, and death is not an option – we repeat, DEATH IS…

Wear or Die

Wear or Die: Shiny Unhappy People

(Shiny pants available here and here.) You may have thought Monday mornings were bad enough as it was, but this Monday is just about to get a whole lot worse, because it’s time to play The Fashion Police’s favourite game: Wear or Die! For those of you just joining us, it’s pretty straightfoward: 1. There are two ugly items of clothing. 2. You must wear one of them… or DIE. 3. You get to choose which one you wear. 4. Death is NOT AN OPTION, weaklings. Now, we know none of you want to die over an outfit choice, because that’s the kind of thing Fashion Victims do. So it’s time to put on your big girl (shiny) pants and…

Choice of two ugly outfits

Wear or Die: KTZ Edition

So, we know it’s the week before Christmas, and the very LAST thing you want to do is slip into the ugliest outfit in the Fashion Police jail and hit the town in it. We know that. It’s too bad, though, because this is Wear or Die, and obviously you’re not going to die for the sake of fashion, so we’re afraid you’re going to have to pick one of the two options above to wear. Them’s the breaks. Here’s how it works: 1. You must choose one outfit from the two shown above, to wear in public. 2. The outfit must be worn exactly as it’s shown in the image: no modifications allowed! 3. Death is not an option. Will you…

two ugly dresses

Wear or Die: Ugly Dress Edition

As it’s Friday, what better way to spoil everyone’s good mood than with a quick game of Wear or Die? For those of you just joining us, here’s a quick rundown of how it works: 1. The Fashion Police have selected two items of clothing for you (above). 2. You must choose one of them to wear. 3. You must wear the item exactly as it’s shown in the image: so no “wearing something/under it” or doing anything to radically change its appearance. Sorry. 4. Death is not an option. And with that out of the way, we invite you to make your choice between the two dresses we’ve picked out for you: the sheer, Comme des Garcons creation on…

two pairs of ugly shorts

Wear or Die: Get Shorty

It’s Wear or Die time again, and the question facing you this week is… Would you rather go out in public in your knickers than wear these Comme des Garcons shorts? This question isn’t quite as ridiculous as it sounds, because, of course, the leopard-print beauties on the right of the photo aren’t actually underwear, despite being described as “knickers”: no, they’re those teeny-tiny “shorts” that look great on female pop stars as they gyrate around the stage, but possibly won’t look quite as good on the rest of us. Perhaps we’re just speaking for ourselves here, though? Perhaps you have both the booty and bravery to wear Miss Selfridge’s leopard-print pants in public, without batting an eyelid? If that’s the case,…

Two pairs of ugly shorts

Wear or Die: The Long and the Short of It

It’s Wear or Die time again! And we think we know which way you’ll jump this time, but God knows, you’ve surprised us before, so the only thing that’s certain about this game is that nothing is certain. And that ugly clothes will definitely be involved. Today’s choice involves two pairs of shorts: on the left, Bless’s crochet shorts, and on the right, Topshop’s cable wool shorts. You, readers, must wear one of these items. If you don’t, you must die. And actually, in this game death is not an option, so basically you’re stuck with the shorts, sorry. Which would you choose?

Wear or Die: Ugly Prom Dress Edition

For this week’s edition of Wear or Die, we bring you two dresses, both pulled from our very own Ugly Prom Dress gallery, and both modelled by the same girl. That poor, poor girl. She’s not as lucky as you are: she didn’t get to choose which of these dresses she wore, she just had to wear them both! Your task, then, is a little easier in comparison: you must choose one the two dresses shown above… or you must die! The rules: 1. You must choose one of the options shown above, to be worn in public 2. You are not allowed to hide the outfit in any way: no large overcoats allowed! 3. Death is not an option!…

Wear or Die: ASOS Edition

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser, baby – so let’s just quickly go over the rules, for those of you who’ve never played before, or who were simply so traumatised by some of the outfits we’ve shown you in previous editions that you’re even now running for cover, eyeball bleach in hand. Wear or Die: How It Works Wear or Die is simple. Evil, yes, but simple. 1. We’ll show you two outfits. 2. They’ll both be ugly – or ugly-ish. Some of you will obviously like them, so this game will be fun for you. 3. You must choose one of the two outfits to wear….

Palazzo pants wear or die

Wear or Die: Printed palazzo pants edition

Yes readers, it’s wear or die time again!  This week we want you to choose between two delightful pairs of patterned palazzo pants.  The rules are simple: you choose one pair to wear, or you die.  (Note: not really.) So will it be the cherry print wide legs from New Look, or the ditsy floral print from River Island (River Island loves them, but do you)?  You decide (and be sure to let us know in the comments).

Wear or die cropped harem pants

Wear or Die: cropped harem pants edition

Yes readers, this is your chance to dress like a toddler and look like you have a huge, wet nappy on, or die. Of course you can’t really choose to die, so you must pick one or other of these delightful pairs of cropped harem pants to wear – and no covering them up with a long coat! So which will you choose – the Alice by Temperley Martha hammered silk trousers on the left (which we misread and thought were accurately named Hammer trousers when we first glanced at them), or the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania marathon jersey trousers on the right?  Take your pick and tell us in the comments.

Wear or Die furry hats

Wear or Die: ASOS furry hats edition

This week readers the choice is yours: do you want Bugs Bunny’s ears on your head or do you want to wear a Rod Stewart wig?  Either way, you must choose one or you die.  (Except you don’t, really, this is only a game and death is not an option.)  Still you must decide which questionable head gear you want to keep you warm this winter and tell us in the comments.

Wear or Die: Comme des Garcons Edition

Which would you prefer, readers: to be naked but for an enormous cloud of black lace… or to be clothed, but looking like someone attacked your dress with the gardening shears? That’s the question that faces you in this edition of Wear or Die, for today you must choose one of the two dresses above to wear in public: or you must die. (And no, you can’t wear something under or over them: they must be worn exactly as they’re shown.) Which will you choose? (Both dresses are by Comme des Garcons and are available at Yoox.com.)

Wear or die - Tall and All edition

Wear or Die: Tall and All printed hipster pants edition

You know the rules by now: you must choose one of the items above to wear, or you die.  And no, death is not really an option, so which pair of pants will it be?  The fruit and flowers hipsters (with the oranges, daisies and whatever the purple circles are)?  Or the lilac snakeskin print? Make your choice and tell us in the comments!

Wear or Die: Mesh Dress Edition

Attention fashion lovers! For this week’s Wear or Die, we’re giving you the opportunity to be “bang on trend” in a mesh, bodycon dress of your choice! Well, not quite of your choice: you have to choose from one of the two options above. Oh, and if you DON’T choose one of them to wear (in public, exactly as shown in the image), you die. On the plus side, you get to show everyone your “banging” body! Awesome, no? Which dress will you choose, though? Boohoo’s ‘Cindy’ mesh dress (left) hides the crotch area, but looks like it could cause a nip-slip or two if you’re not careful. Then there’s all of that thigh action going on. River Island’s cobweb…

Wear or Die: Terrible Trousers Edition

Option A will make you look like a giant bell, and option B will make you look like a giant triangle. We don’t think either option is particularly desirable, but you must choose one of them anyway, because this is Wear or Die, and as you all know by now, if you don’t choose one, you die! Now, no trousers in the world are worth dying over, so tell us, readers: if you were forced to wear one of these items in public, in order to save yourself from certain death, which trousers would you choose? Kris Van Assche’s tie-bottom “bell” trousers or Beyond the Valley’s “scary clown” triangle pants?