There’s good news with this week’s edition of Wear or Die: the game in which you must choose to wear one of two ugly outfits – or die. [Insert evil laugh here.]

The good news? These AREN’T the two outfits we’re going to ask you to choose between:

Seriously, you’d just choose death, wouldn’t you. Even although – say it with us, people – DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. But while these two looks may arguably be considered “art”, when it comes to actually trying to WEAR them, we forsee a slight problem – which is more than can be said for the wearer or these outfits, who wouldn’t be able to see much at all. (Kudos to the models in this show, by the way. We’re guessing the fabric must be sheerer than it looks, allowing them to see through it to some extent, but it still can’t be easy to walk with your vision obscured like this. Modelling is HARD, as we know. And we must all suffer for fashion, apparently.) Now, because we DO actually like our readers, and don’t want to see any of you suffer THAT much in the name of fashion, we’re not going to force you to choose between these two looks. We did mention some bad news, however, and here it is:

Yes, THESE are the outfits we’re going to make you choose between. We hope you weren’t too attached to your arms: you’re not going to be seeing them for a while in these.

You should know the rules by now, but just in case you’re new to TFP, here’s a quick reminder:

1. You must choose one of the two outfits above to wear, IN PUBLIC, and without modifications.

2. If you don’t choose one of the two outfits, you die. Whoops.

3. Death is not an option.

So, let’s hear it: which of these two interesting pieces of outerwear would you choose to wear, if you had to wear one, or die?

Wear or Die is a Fashion Police weekly dilemma in which we ask you to choose between two outfits, selected by us. You must wear one of them – or die. Which will you choose?

Here’s this week’s selection:

OPTION A | OPTION B

This week’s WEAR or DIE could probably have been titled “boobs or butt”. Let’s face it: that’s what these two dresses are all about, and you’re almost guaranteed to end up flashing one or the other, depending on which option you choose. Giving the phrase “body-conscious” a whole new meaning, Option A comes with a serious risk of VPL (not to mention  some interesting tan lines if you wear it during the day), while Option B has “wardrobe malfunction” written all over it.

This is Wear or Die, though, and you know the rules: you have to wear one of ’em. Speaking of the rules, just in case you aren’t familiar with them, here’s a quick re-cap:

1. You must wear one of the two outfits above.

2. You must wear the chosen outfit in public – no hiding in your room!

3. You must wear it as shown in the image, so sorry, but you can’t wear something under or over either of these dresses: that would be too easy.

4. If you don’t wear one of these outfits? YOU DIE.*

We reckon this is a fairly easy one, and we THINK we know which option you’ll choose, but then again, you’ve surprised us before, so nothing is certain when it comes to Wear or Die.

Ready to play? Just leave a comment and tell us which outfit you’d wear, if you had to wear one… or die.

* Not really.

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WEAR OR DIE is a Fashion Police game in which we choose two ugly outfits, and you decide which one you’d wear if you HAD to wear one… or die. This week,  things have taken a decidedly frilly turn…

Both of these looks are from the Ashish Fall 2014 collection, which is kind of a double-denim-meets-sea-creatures-meets-sequins affair. Marvellous. We’ll just pause here so you can tell us that it’s OMGART and we JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Got that off your chest? OK, on with the fun part… or the Not So Fun part, depending on how you look at it. It’s fun for US, obviously, but it’s possibly Not So Fun for you, because you’re the one who’s going to have to wear one of these outfits. In public. And no, you can’t wear a huge coat over the top, or otherwise hide yourself from the public gaze – you’re going to have to parade around in public, with your head held high, just as these two brave models did at the Ashish show this week.

So, which will you choose? Let’s take a look…

OPTION A (on the left of the image) is a double-denim delight, gloriously be-ruffled, with extravagant shoulders and thighs – not qualities we often look for in clothing, it has to be said.

OPTION B, meanwhile, is a little less in-your face in terms of ruffles, but it makes up for it by exposing most of your stomach and torso, which might be a little chilly at this time of year.

As always, death is not an option in this game, so you’re going to have to choose one of these two outfits to wear: the only question is – which will it be?

Will you choose double denim or exposed midriff? Which of these outfits would you wear, if you had to wear one, or DIE?

Wednesdays at TheFashionPolice.net mean Wear or Die: the game in which we choose two ugly outfits, and ask you to wear one… or die.

This week, although we know the Fall 2014 collections are currently being paraded at New York Fashion Week, we couldn’t resist going back to the (recent) past, to bring you these two little beauties:

Option A is a Big Bird costume (complete with sexy thigh cut outs. Sesame Street was never like this in our day…) from Jeremy Scott’s current collection. Although it appeared on the runway, we haven’t actually seen this for sale anywhere, so it may never have actually made it into production. We can’t think why: seriously, who WOULDN’T want to walk around dressed like this?

Option B, meanwhile, is by The Blonds, and is from the Spring/Summer 2014 collection, so you may well be able to buy this one soon. If you’re very unlucky, that is.

So, these are the two choices before you, Fashion Police Officers. Here’s a quick reminder of the rules:

How to Play Wear or Die

1. You must pick one of the two outfits above

2. You must assume you will be wearing it in public, and without attempting to conceal it in any way

3. You CAN make minor adjustments to the styling of the look, if it’s possible: i.e., you don’t HAVE to wear option 2 with the thigh boots and a small planet balanced on your head, but it would be fun if you would at least try, no?

4. If you don’t choose one of the two outfits, you die. BUT!

5. DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. They’re just clothes, people. Ain’t no point dying over a pile of acid yellow faux fur, so you may as well just choose one and get it over with.

So, what’s it going to b? Which outfit would you choose if you HAD to wear one: Big Bird or Daffy?

It’s Wednesday – or “Wear or Die Day” as we like to think of it here at Fashion Police HQ, and that means it’s time to play everyone’s least-favourite game!

Today’s edition of Wear or Die features these two creations from the Comme des Garcons Spring/Summer 2014 collection:

Totes artistic, as we’re sure someone is about to tell us, but the problem with that is, we’re not asking you to hang them on your wall, or admire them from a distance, are we? No, we’re asking you to WEAR them. On your body. And in public. Without making any modifications, or attempting to hide them in any way.

Oh yeah, and if you DON’T choose one of them to wear? You die. Sorry about that.

In order to avoid certain death, then, you must choose one of these two outfits to wear. Remember, death is not an option, (Mostly because it’s no fun if everyone just goes, “I die!” You’re not Rachel Zoe now, are you?)

So, which will you choose? Will you be, er, “pretty” in pink, or will you go back to black?

Which of these outfits would you wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game in which everyone’s a loser – so let’s have a quick recap of the rules…

First, we present you with two outfit options:

Option A | Option B

Next, you must choose one of these outfits to wear, in public, and without doing anything to conceal it : so you can’t, for instance, say “Oh, I’ll take Option A, but I’ll wear a coat over the top and a bag over my head!” Doesn’t work that way, sorry.

If you don’t choose one of the two items to wear? You die. Simple.

Oh yeah, and death is not an option – we repeat, DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION – so you’re going to have to pick one of these two aweome outfits, we’re afraid. Lucky you!

For this week’s selection, we bring you two vintage outfits. The product descriptions don’t include the era, but we’re going to guess they’re from the 1970s, because when else would people have voluntarily walked around dressed like this? Of course, the fact that these items provide a small slice of fashion history may help make up for some of their shortcomings, or perhaps you’ll genuinely like one – or even both – of them. If that’s the case, then your choice is an easy one. If not, however, well, it sucks to be you, because this is Wear or Die, and you’re not seriously going to tell us you’d rather die than wear one little outfit, are you?

Are you? Which of these outfits would you choose to wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?

It’s Wear or Die time again! And we think we know which way you’ll jump this time, but God knows, you’ve surprised us before, so the only thing that’s certain about this game is that nothing is certain. And that ugly clothes will definitely be involved.

Today’s choice involves two pairs of shorts: on the left, Bless’s crochet shorts, and on the right, Topshop’s cable wool shorts. You, readers, must wear one of these items. If you don’t, you must die. And actually, in this game death is not an option, so basically you’re stuck with the shorts, sorry.

Which would you choose?

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser, baby – so let’s just quickly go over the rules, for those of you who’ve never played before, or who were simply so traumatised by some of the outfits we’ve shown you in previous editions that you’re even now running for cover, eyeball bleach in hand.

Wear or Die: How It Works

Wear or Die is simple. Evil, yes, but simple.

1. We’ll show you two outfits.

2. They’ll both be ugly – or ugly-ish. Some of you will obviously like them, so this game will be fun for you.

3. You must choose one of the two outfits to wear. In public. (Don’t worry, it’s just pretend: you won’t REALLY have to wear the outfit, you’ll just have to imagine you’re going to have to wear it in public.) You may not modify the outfit in any way, and nor may you wear something over the top of it. So, what we’re saying is, your answer can’t be something along the lines of, “Well, I’ll choose A, but I would only wear it at home, in the dark, and with my long coat over the top of it.” Because that would be cheating.

4. If you don’t choose one of the outfits to wear?

YOU DIE. Mwahaha!

(OK, again: just pretend. Settle down at the back there…)

Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. No matter how awful you think the two options are, you MUST choose one. You can’t just choose to die, because let’s face it, that would be silly: they’re just clothes, after all. Ugly clothes, sure, but still, just clothes.

To start you off, we’ve given you a fairly easy choice, in that we reckon quite a lot of you will like both of these outfits, meaning that your biggest problems will be trying to decide which one you like most.

Both of today’s choices come from ASOS. They are:

OPTION A: Zip-through jumpsuit
Beige isn’t a colour, it’s a state of mind. And shapless beige jumpsuits are a state of mind we never want to experience.

OPTION B: Floral smock dress
The smock dress: The Fashion Police’s mortal enemy made flesh. Or made fabric, rather. Also shapeless, but with the added Frump Factor of the high neckline and floral pattern.

(Oh, and this is on TFP, by the way, so don’t worry about the price of these, because in our imaginary Wear or Die world, they will be magically provided for you, free of charge! You’re welcome!)

Over to you, then, readers: what’s it to be?

Which outfit would you wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?