You may have thought Monday mornings were bad enough as it was, but this Monday is just about to get a whole lot worse, because it’s time to play The Fashion Police’s favourite game: Wear or Die!
For those of you just joining us, it’s pretty straightfoward:
1. There are two ugly items of clothing.
2. You must wear one of them… or DIE.
3. You get to choose which one you wear.
4. Death is NOT AN OPTION, weaklings.
Now, we know none of you want to die over an outfit choice, because that’s the kind of thing Fashion Victims do. So it’s time to put on your big girl (shiny) pants and choose:
Which of the two items above would you wear, if you had to wear one…. or die?
As it’s Friday, what better way to spoil everyone’s good mood than with a quick game of Wear or Die?
For those of you just joining us, here’s a quick rundown of how it works:
1. The Fashion Police have selected two items of clothing for you (above).
2. You must choose one of them to wear.
3. You must wear the item exactly as it’s shown in the image: so no “wearing something/under it” or doing anything to radically change its appearance. Sorry.
4. Death is not an option.
And with that out of the way, we invite you to make your choice between the two dresses we’ve picked out for you: the sheer, Comme des Garcons creation on the left (why, yes, it DOES look like the model isn’t wearing any underwear: fancy that!) or the pieced-together mess of a dress by Maison Martin Margiela on the right. (And oh yeah, SHE doesn’t seem to be wearing much either, poor thing!).
This question isn’t quite as ridiculous as it sounds, because, of course, the leopard-print beauties on the right of the photo aren’t actually underwear, despite being described as “knickers”: no, they’re those teeny-tiny “shorts” that look great on female pop stars as they gyrate around the stage, but possibly won’t look quite as good on the rest of us.
Perhaps we’re just speaking for ourselves here, though? Perhaps you have both the booty and bravery to wear Miss Selfridge’s leopard-print pants in public, without batting an eyelid? If that’s the case, your choice today will be an easy one. If, however, you prefer NOT to look like you’re out in your undies, you may be forced to opt for Comme des Garcons’ inflatable brain shorts instead.
Which you will choose?
(Remember, the rules of the game are that you must choose one option… or DIE. Death is NOT an option. Neither is covering up with something else, or wearing the item in the privacy of your own home, where no one can hear you scream. You wear them in public, exactly as they’re shown, or YOU DIE. Simples.)
It’s Wear or Die time again! And we think we know which way you’ll jump this time, but God knows, you’ve surprised us before, so the only thing that’s certain about this game is that nothing is certain. And that ugly clothes will definitely be involved.
Today’s choice involves two pairs of shorts: on the left, Bless’s crochet shorts, and on the right, Topshop’s cable wool shorts. You, readers, must wear one of these items. If you don’t, you must die. And actually, in this game death is not an option, so basically you’re stuck with the shorts, sorry.
For this week’s edition of Wear or Die, we bring you two dresses, both pulled from our very own Ugly Prom Dress gallery, and both modelled by the same girl. That poor, poor girl. She’s not as lucky as you are: she didn’t get to choose which of these dresses she wore, she just had to wear them both! Your task, then, is a little easier in comparison: you must choose one the two dresses shown above… or you must die!
The rules:
1. You must choose one of the options shown above, to be worn in public 2. You are not allowed to hide the outfit in any way: no large overcoats allowed! 3. Death is not an option!
Of course, luckily for you, this is all just for fun, and you won’t actually have to wear the dress. This model DID have to wear the dress: both of them. For her, Wear or Die isn’t a game: it’s HER LIFE.
Which will you choose? Pink or orange, orange or pink? Make your choice in the comments, and prepare to WEAR OR DIE!
It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser, baby – so let’s just quickly go over the rules, for those of you who’ve never played before, or who were simply so traumatised by some of the outfits we’ve shown you in previous editions that you’re even now running for cover, eyeball bleach in hand.
Wear or Die: How It Works
Wear or Die is simple. Evil, yes, but simple.
1. We’ll show you two outfits.
2. They’ll both be ugly – or ugly-ish. Some of you will obviously like them, so this game will be fun for you.
3. You must choose one of the two outfits to wear. In public. (Don’t worry, it’s just pretend: you won’t REALLY have to wear the outfit, you’ll just have to imagine you’re going to have to wear it in public.) You may not modify the outfit in any way, and nor may you wear something over the top of it. So, what we’re saying is, your answer can’t be something along the lines of, “Well, I’ll choose A, but I would only wear it at home, in the dark, and with my long coat over the top of it.” Because that would be cheating.
4. If you don’t choose one of the outfits to wear?
YOU DIE. Mwahaha!
(OK, again: just pretend. Settle down at the back there…)
Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. No matter how awful you think the two options are, you MUST choose one. You can’t just choose to die, because let’s face it, that would be silly: they’re just clothes, after all. Ugly clothes, sure, but still, just clothes.
To start you off, we’ve given you a fairly easy choice, in that we reckon quite a lot of you will like both of these outfits, meaning that your biggest problems will be trying to decide which one you like most.
OPTION A: Zip-through jumpsuit Beige isn’t a colour, it’s a state of mind. And shapless beige jumpsuits are a state of mind we never want to experience.
OPTION B: Floral smock dress The smock dress: The Fashion Police’s mortal enemy made flesh. Or made fabric, rather. Also shapeless, but with the added Frump Factor of the high neckline and floral pattern.
(Oh, and this is on TFP, by the way, so don’t worry about the price of these, because in our imaginary Wear or Die world, they will be magically provided for you, free of charge! You’re welcome!)
Over to you, then, readers: what’s it to be?
Which outfit would you wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?
Yes readers, it’s wear or die time again! This week we want you to choose between two delightful pairs of patterned palazzo pants. The rules are simple: you choose one pair to wear, or you die. (Note: not really.)
So will it be the cherry print wide legs from New Look, or the ditsy floral print from River Island (River Island loves them, but do you)? You decide (and be sure to let us know in the comments).
Yes readers, this is your chance to dress like a toddler and look like you have a huge, wet nappy on, or die.
Of course you can’t really choose to die, so you must pick one or other of these delightful pairs of cropped harem pants to wear – and no covering them up with a long coat!
