Wear or Die: Clubwear Edition

Wearor-die-clubwear

Oh yes, we went there. We went to Ami Clubwear, and we came back with two dresses which we will now force our readers to choose between: or die.

And if there's anyone out there who DOESN'T choose death on this one, we'll be absolutely amazed.

With that said, as regular readers will know, in this game, death is not an option. For those of you just joining us, you must choose one of the two outfits above to wear. In public. If you don't choose one – you die! So, which one will you choose?

49 Comments

  • May 13, 2009

    Maria

    umm I would wear the yellow one..even tho its soo bitchy but I prefer that than being like Jane(Tarzan) lol

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Arielle

    Those are definitely pretty bad. I’ll have to choose death.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    ayemiy

    I am going to buck the trend and go with the leopard.
    I have Lion Hair. So if I wear it, people will think it’s a joke and that I am indeed a cavewoman. Or at least out in fancy dress.
    If I wore the yellow one, people would think I was trying to be Kim Kardashian or howeverthehellyouspellit.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Svanna

    Yep, I think I’d rather die than wear either of these. Not nice. The yellow one is SLIGHTLY better than the other but not by much!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Gemma

    I actually think I’d be tempted by death.
    But…I’ll go with Ayemiy, I have big lion hair too, so I may as well work with what I have. Also it looks a bit longer, and a tad more supportive up top.
    Either way, you’re screwed though!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Caitlin

    The ‘Jane’ one. I’d just keep making jungle noises and hope the general public would forgive me because I would be obviously insane. Not a big fan of the ‘under cleavage’, what would you call that?

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Veronika

    I’m going leopard print (but just because I don’t really trust tit-tape that much:)). would I have to wear the silly bellybutton jewelry too? what is that, like a clubbing trend? oh pleeease, can I just die now?

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    misha b

    i’d have to pick the leopard

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Amy

    I would go with the lepoard print… that way there is more possibility of hiding yourself in a dark corner, the yellow is too out there, and i also do not trust tit-tape.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Gladys

    The yellow one makes even the model look enormous so my choice would be “Jane”. Or death.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Evelyn

    Jane. At least my boobs would be safe.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Hannah

    I choose the first one… even though it’ll make feel like a tramp, I’d rather not expose my breasts to the world.
    P.s. do all these models have tacky belly-button studs or what?!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    gokarm

    I wouldn’t die rather than wear either of these, because I value my life, and a life is worth more than a couple hours of mortification. I’d choose the yellow, because the tarzan dress looks like it’d be painful against the tum. The yellow is merely hideous.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Una Nancy Owen

    The first one. Don’t want my breasts falling out of the 2nd dress. Also, do we have to wear the tacky stupid crappy bellybutton things?

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Shiloh

    definitely the yellow.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Ellie

    I’d be wearing the first, so people think it’s fancy dress.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Kelly

    This actually doesn’t seem as bad to me as the majority of the Wear or Die features. I’d pick the leopard one – at least I could wear a bra with that. And I think it looks marginally better – at least I wouldn’t look like sponge bob square pants!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Theresa

    Leopard, for sure. At least I would be able to show that I have a waist. Curvy girls should not wear baggy columns. I would look very thick in the yellow.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Kate

    I’d wear Jane and if anybody asked I’d say I had just come from a costume party.
    (Plus, at least the spandex would hold my boobs up, and maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe the waist bit would accentuate my curves)

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    LILALECK

    I took a long, very long look and well… I love my life so actually I’d wear the leopard print dress under the yellow dress.. It’s a save combination wearing a biker jacket and thin black leggings and some nice purple or black coloured (not too flashy) heels

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    helen

    yellow, but with a red neck tie so I could say i WAS channeling spongebob

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    nj

    *sits and stares at the choices…imagines wearing either…pictures rolls forming in a’s cutouts…pitures belly pouch in between b’s tit columns…sighs and goes to look at casket website as death appears to be the leading choice*

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Az

    Die. All the way.

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    xony

    Leopard! The yellow one is a malfunction waiting to happen!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    Kerry

    Holy hell! Clothes like this are actually commercially made?
    Although death is tempting, I choose the leopard print one. There’s not enough Hollywood tape in all of China to make me want to wear the yellow monstrosity!

    View Comment
  • May 13, 2009

    chocoholic

    I’d go yellow.
    I just hate leopard print that much.
    Also my boobs are small enough that they would be completely covered.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    NikkiG

    I would have to choose the leopard print. The yellow dress is just an accident waiting to happen.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Simone

    I already see a little bit of a nip-slip on the model wearing the yellow dress, and that is someone who is standing and posing for a camera, NOT someone who is trying to walk around.
    for that reason, I’ll have to go for the leopard.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Ola

    The leopard print, for sure. At least it doesn’t change body’s proportions so horribly – I’m sure that the lady on the right has a beautiful figure but by God you can’t see it (where’s the waist gone?!) it this horrid yellow dress.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Kate

    The mere thought of wearing either is making me nauseated…though that could be my choice of supper making itself felt.
    Honestly, the leopard, because my boob-a-joobs are not meant for public viewing.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Katie

    The Leopard one. It seems to be safer as far as nip-slips go.
    Also, I’ve got to warn people about this website. Do NOT buy from it. I know most of you will PROBABLY stay far away from it, but you never know. They apparently never send anything out when it’s bought, and it’s cheap, in bad condition, and the wrong size when they do. Not worth your time.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    anna

    The leopard, because you can wear a bra with it, and it actually looks like a real dress. The yellow one is just..strange.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Nicole

    Yello… Jan…er, death.
    I have to second Katie on her comment… DO NOT ever order from this website. I tried to order a cheap trench coat once from this site, and it was a horrendous experience.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Rebecca

    I’m going to go Leopard Monstrosity, if only to protect my breasts. Also those stupid baggy columns would look marginally better if they were closer together.
    God, they’re both nightmarish.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Hoshi

    Leopard. It at least looks mildly acceptable. The yellow looks like the designer tried to make something out of a floursack and got interrupted by Edward Scissorhands.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Lauren x

    Wow…it’s like a sneak peak into Jodie Marsh’s wardrobe.
    I’d have to go with the leopard print. I don’t think anyone with more than an A cup up top should be wearing that yellow thing. It almost looks painful. Especially for clubwear? I challenge anyone to dance in that thing.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Fran

    BOTH!!
    The leopard on top of the yellow, if it’s got to be bad, then lets make it REALLY bad!!!

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Anna

    I’ll take leopard print. The yellow looks like it’d fall off my boobs at any second.

    View Comment
  • May 14, 2009

    Rock Hyrax

    “Leopard” for the same reason as everyone else. Though technically I think that print looks more like a jaguar pattern. Or could it be a clouded leopard? I dunno…

    View Comment
  • May 15, 2009

    Sarah

    I never understand when people legit choose death. As long as I went to a club where I didn’t know people, I would choose A. And I think I can laugh at myself in it, fat rolls and hideous print and all.

    View Comment
  • May 16, 2009

    Melanie

    I think they are probably considered “work attire” by women who favour late night shift work .. if you get my drift.

    View Comment
  • May 20, 2009

    Romanticide

    I could use the leopard print and pretend I’m Sheena queen of the jungle… at least it could be useful on Halloween or just take the yellow cut the upper part and use the skirt… well as skirt.

    View Comment
  • May 22, 2009

    Maria

    I’m going to go with the Leopard-one. So much better then the yellow one yet – I would never ever use it.

    View Comment
  • May 28, 2009

    Diandra

    I pick: strappy leopard thingy. Plunge dresses can be flattering, just preferably not in banana yellow, and not with a flat skirt thing on the bottom…Gracefulness is key to a revealing dress like that. At least the Tarzan one is…Stylized? I guess somebody could pull it off. :/

    View Comment
  • June 1, 2009

    abby.♥

    leopard, by a long shot. i couldn’t imagine ANYONE wearing that yellow…THING.

    View Comment
  • June 2, 2009

    Liz

    I’d go with the ugly leopard print one, because a) SLIGHTLY more fabric than the first…b) maybe i could go to a themed party….and NOT be the sluttiest looking one there…(because the others will have chosen dress b…….)
    …..wait…is the skirt of the leopard print see through? it looks like it….
    i choose DEATH. i’d even take a painful one.

    View Comment
  • June 9, 2009

    Alissa

    My first reaction was to say B, because at leas it isn’t leopard print….but the silhouette B creates is possibly the most unflattering I’ve ever seen. Are you sure I can’t choose death?

    View Comment
  • July 21, 2009

    Ruby

    I just busted a t-nut on that one… So, so very funny.

    View Comment
  • September 14, 2009

    Isabel

    I would go with leopard–it would make me feel MARGINALLY less exposed…

    View Comment