Wear or Die: ASOS Edition

It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser, baby – so let’s just quickly go over the rules, for those of you who’ve never played before, or who were simply so traumatised by some of the outfits we’ve shown you in previous editions that you’re even now running for cover, eyeball bleach in hand.

Wear or Die: How It Works

Wear or Die is simple. Evil, yes, but simple.

1. We’ll show you two outfits.

2. They’ll both be ugly – or ugly-ish. Some of you will obviously like them, so this game will be fun for you.

3. You must choose one of the two outfits to wear. In public. (Don’t worry, it’s just pretend: you won’t REALLY have to wear the outfit, you’ll just have to imagine you’re going to have to wear it in public.) You may not modify the outfit in any way, and nor may you wear something over the top of it. So, what we’re saying is, your answer can’t be something along the lines of, “Well, I’ll choose A, but I would only wear it at home, in the dark, and with my long coat over the top of it.” Because that would be cheating.

4. If you don’t choose one of the outfits to wear?

YOU DIE. Mwahaha!

(OK, again: just pretend. Settle down at the back there…)

Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. No matter how awful you think the two options are, you MUST choose one. You can’t just choose to die, because let’s face it, that would be silly: they’re just clothes, after all. Ugly clothes, sure, but still, just clothes.

To start you off, we’ve given you a fairly easy choice, in that we reckon quite a lot of you will like both of these outfits, meaning that your biggest problems will be trying to decide which one you like most.

Both of today’s choices come from ASOS. They are:

OPTION A: Zip-through jumpsuit
Beige isn’t a colour, it’s a state of mind. And shapless beige jumpsuits are a state of mind we never want to experience.

OPTION B: Floral smock dress
The smock dress: The Fashion Police’s mortal enemy made flesh. Or made fabric, rather. Also shapeless, but with the added Frump Factor of the high neckline and floral pattern.

(Oh, and this is on TFP, by the way, so don’t worry about the price of these, because in our imaginary Wear or Die world, they will be magically provided for you, free of charge! You’re welcome!)

Over to you, then, readers: what’s it to be?

Which outfit would you wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?

40 Comments

  • August 31, 2011

    Katie

    Option B. It looks incredibly unflattering, but with some platform heels, a cocktail ring and a big floppy hat (not to hide my identity, I promise!) it might look ok-ish-but-not-really-but-it-will-have-to-do.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Siel

    I would choose the dress, I think it could look OK with a belt or something…

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  • August 31, 2011

    Minka

    I will have to go with B, the dress. I somehow think it would look almost-ok with a wide waist belt and turned-up sleeves. A, however, is not an option for me, cause I’d seriously rather die than be seen in public wearing a jumpsuit of any kind. BTW, I missed wear or die… 🙂

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  • August 31, 2011

    Alexandra

    I’d choose B, and wear it with vintage shoes, a vintage bag and a 1920’s hat, plus wrist lace gloves, and I’d pretend I’ve had a film shooting a few hours earlier :))) Lol!

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  • August 31, 2011

    Jessie at Fashion Limbo

    This feels a bit “cake or death” by Eddie Izzard which makes me love this even more 🙂
    has to be option B, simply because some leggy “it girl” like Kate Moss or Leigh – not even attempting to spell her surname- will wear and look fab in it…also with some statement shoes, and a big ring in one hand, statement too, all about statements here…and a bored look in one’s eyes. That will do. xx

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  • August 31, 2011

    Amy

    Option B, definitely. With a belt and maybe some fabulous shoes (in wear or die world I’m able to walk in heels, right?) it might be… passable.

    -Photographamy

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  • August 31, 2011

    Rose

    Option B if belts are allowed. I quite like the print! There is nothing redeeming about option A

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  • August 31, 2011

    Moni

    B! I’d choose the frumpy dress over the shapeless colourless jumpsuit-thingy anytime.

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  • August 31, 2011

    drea

    B is probably the one you won’t get stared in as much so I’m gonna go for that

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  • August 31, 2011

    Sammy

    Option b. With the right belt and shoes I could get away with it. My long legs would help me seem less drowned in the dress.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Roisin

    Option B. I will never wear a jumpsuit unless I’m in prison or something. Or a mechanic.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Nell

    no contest – option b. It’s not something I’d normally buy, but it’s not terrible (like option a)

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  • August 31, 2011

    Shinypigeon

    Is it just me or does that jumpsuit actually zip TO THE CROTCH? WRONG!
    I’d have to go with B…it would do nothing for me and possibly resemble a floral binbag, but at least it doesn’t have the danger of catching your knickers in a fastening.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Sonya

    Option B, with a pair of heels, a belt, and a big ring. Also, confidence.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Bb

    B, I could pretend I had an unfortunate accident involving my grandmother’s couch and a badly made ruffled throw pillow. It’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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    • August 31, 2011

      Kate

      Love your way of justifying your choice Lol !

      From all i’ve read .. it’s “unanime”
      the nude jumpsuit zip to the crotch his definitively NOT a good idea !

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  • August 31, 2011

    Ez

    How funny that everyone has gone for B! I would go for A as I think it would look ok on me as I have curvier hips than the model which would hopefully give it some shape. I would wear it with some leopard print stilettos, gold jewellery and a tan waist-cinching belt (if belts are allowed)! I can’t actually think of a way of making B look passable :S

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  • August 31, 2011

    zay

    Woooww…B

    because that jumpsuit is so hell-forsaken-beat-me-up-jesus-and-call-me-charlie that i cant even get started with.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Amber

    Option B for sure. ITs a sack but at least it isnt Option A.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Jennie

    I’d definitely go for B with a belt, some colorful jewelry and a cardigan. A’s just hideous.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Emily

    I would wear Option B as a nightie. Option A looks uncomfortable as well as unflattering.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Tali

    I guess I’ll be the only one beside Ez who goes with the A.
    I wouldn’t want to be caught dead any near the floral monster presented as B. Beside the fact that it’s ugly, it scares the ** out of me..
    A would look tolerable with cool heels and a lot of gold jewelry and a belt , just like Ez said.

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    • August 31, 2011

      Marthe

      You’re not alone, Ez and Tali, what’s up with the floral curtain? Option A would be a quite nice jumpsuit if it was tighter at the legs and with a nice golden belt and lots of jewelry, like the three of us now said.

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  • August 31, 2011

    Suz Dunn

    I`ll have to opt for the dress/smock thing. I`m thinking it would provide a step in the right direction for late night dog walking in my pj`s. Not sure I`d wear it during the day, but I daresay I`ve worn worse.

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  • August 31, 2011

    naiadknight

    Option B, a good belt, a chignon, and platform sandals. And a black bar across my face…

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  • August 31, 2011

    Lyd

    A!! At least it’s remotely unique.. the floral dress looks like something my aunt Esther would wear. A cropped leather jacket and a cute metallic belt with boots and jewelry…

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  • August 31, 2011

    kookakicha

    I would actually wear both of these. I like them. This isn’t the worst edition of Wear-Or-Die, I have to admit. or maybe my taste is not along the conventional 🙂

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  • August 31, 2011

    EricB

    My girlfriend has got a thing for overalls so I’ll gues she would choose the jumpsuit. It would not even be a threat and if it were, you’d get trouble from me, you so-called fashion police 😉

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  • August 31, 2011

    cmap

    YAY!!! I love these!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, Option A and I made a little set to go with. I would wear that jumpsuit but only if I could wear a hat and a pair of shades, and ONLY if I could wear gloves to hide the evidence…

    The outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=36436456

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  • August 31, 2011

    Liza Ashby

    I’m with the majority and would go for Option B. It’s far nicer than the beige thing!

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  • August 31, 2011

    cora

    wow, i am so surprised to be in the minority here! while both outfits are HORRENDOUS, i happen to be much more proud of my upper body thanmy lower body… which means that i would definitely choose option a. can i wear a jacket, or accessorize with a belt around the waist? you won’t find either of these in my “for real” closet — but i’d rather look like a girl with a decent physique who made a poor fashion choice, than a possibly pregnant lumpy lady who probably has extremist beliefs and disapproves of your naked forearms. oh and as a fellow super pale redhead, i try to stay away from dark-colored shrouds that showcase my blindingly white legs.

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  • August 31, 2011

    cora

    *i’m also reminded of the last time i wore a wetsuit, which i thought would look terrible, and after viewing the pictures i must admit… it didn’t look as horrible as i thought. jumpsuit for sure.

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  • September 1, 2011

    Lili @ Relatable Style

    Definitely B! Can I keep the shoes?

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  • September 1, 2011

    Tatchi

    At least option A isn’t in some awful pleated floral pattern, and I can treat it like a pair of overalls for when I’m doing my painting 😛

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  • September 1, 2011

    Rachel

    Option B please. Mostly because there’s practically no chance of camel toe with a dress.

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  • September 1, 2011

    Tii

    Option A

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  • September 2, 2011

    Anna

    Option B. I think I could do something with it to make it look halfway decent. I could never wear the first option.

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  • September 3, 2011

    Stef

    B, I actually really like it plus I’m plus size so it’ll hide my tummy bulge 😀

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  • October 2, 2011

    Lucy

    I actually like the floral dress 😉

    Wear option B!

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