It’s been a long time since we last played Wear or Die – the game where everyone’s a loser, baby – so let’s just quickly go over the rules, for those of you who’ve never played before, or who were simply so traumatised by some of the outfits we’ve shown you in previous editions that you’re even now running for cover, eyeball bleach in hand.
Wear or Die: How It Works
Wear or Die is simple. Evil, yes, but simple.
1. We’ll show you two outfits.
2. They’ll both be ugly – or ugly-ish. Some of you will obviously like them, so this game will be fun for you.
3. You must choose one of the two outfits to wear. In public. (Don’t worry, it’s just pretend: you won’t REALLY have to wear the outfit, you’ll just have to imagine you’re going to have to wear it in public.) You may not modify the outfit in any way, and nor may you wear something over the top of it. So, what we’re saying is, your answer can’t be something along the lines of, “Well, I’ll choose A, but I would only wear it at home, in the dark, and with my long coat over the top of it.” Because that would be cheating.
4. If you don’t choose one of the outfits to wear?
YOU DIE. Mwahaha!
(OK, again: just pretend. Settle down at the back there…)
Remember: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION. No matter how awful you think the two options are, you MUST choose one. You can’t just choose to die, because let’s face it, that would be silly: they’re just clothes, after all. Ugly clothes, sure, but still, just clothes.
To start you off, we’ve given you a fairly easy choice, in that we reckon quite a lot of you will like both of these outfits, meaning that your biggest problems will be trying to decide which one you like most.
Both of today’s choices come from ASOS. They are:
OPTION A: Zip-through jumpsuit
Beige isn’t a colour, it’s a state of mind. And shapless beige jumpsuits are a state of mind we never want to experience.
OPTION B: Floral smock dress
The smock dress: The Fashion Police’s mortal enemy made flesh. Or made fabric, rather. Also shapeless, but with the added Frump Factor of the high neckline and floral pattern.
(Oh, and this is on TFP, by the way, so don’t worry about the price of these, because in our imaginary Wear or Die world, they will be magically provided for you, free of charge! You’re welcome!)
Over to you, then, readers: what’s it to be?
Which outfit would you wear, if you had to wear one… or DIE?