Look, Twilight fans! It’s Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson And Taylor Lautner, all having their hand and footprints taken outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood! But wait, what’s this:
Ah, that would be the price stickers on the soles of Kristen Stewart’s Brian Atwood shoes: one of our pet peeves.
In this case, it’s probably not actually Kristen’s fault: we would imagine that, as with most celebrities, the shoes were probably borrowed for the occasion, hence the stickers still being on the soles. (Although, in that case, the PR/stylist should still have removed them: it’s not like they’re going to still be able to sell them – at least, not at the price on the label – after they’ve been worn, is it?) This does, however, bring up two more of our favourite fashion gripes:
1. Borrowed shoes on celebrities
Look, we know you want to look good on the red carpet, and that even you celebs don’t have an endless amount of money to buy new clothes with, but for the love of God, just wear your own shoes! You’ll look better in a cheaper pair which a) actually fit you and b) don’t still have the stickers attached to them than you do in a designer pair that are three sizes too big and very obviously borrowed. (This isn’t directed just at Kristen, by the way: just a general gripe.)
2. Shoe manufacturers who stick labels on the soles of shoes
If we’re paying $400 for shoes, we don’t want to have to spend an hour peeling the labels off the soles (and isn’t that just the WORST? You know when it comes off in tiny little pieces and you have to pick away at it forever? GOD.) Actually, even if we’ve spent $50 on shoes, we don’t want to do that. STOP PUTTING STICKERS ON THE SOLES. There are other ways, you know! If you’re a high-end boutique or department store, you can place a little price card somewhere near the shoe on display. Even Matalan – MATALAN, for God’s sake – tie the price to the insole using a piece of elastic which just snips off once you’ve bought them, leaving the sole completely free. And if Matalan can do it, we’re sure everyone else can, too. (Actually, don’t Primark also do this? We think they do.)
Aaand breathe.
Kirsten sensibly changed out of the Brian Atwoods for the actual taking-of-the-footprint. We must say, it’s nice to see her looking happy, no? Such a pretty, pretty girl. We’ve also included shots of Taylor and R-Patz, just because it’s Friday and we love them you.
This Shopbop model’s looking mighty pleased with herself for someone who’s about to flash her boobies next time a flash goes off, no? And we’d really like to think that Jenni Kayne’s 3/4 sleeve t-shirt wasn’t designed to be worn with absolutely nothing underneath it, but given the appearance of some of the fashion criminals we pull in for questioning these days, we’re just not convinced that’s the case…
A quick glance at this photo tells the practiced eye of The Fashion Police that there’s more than one fashion infringement going on here. Sophie Monk could clearly tell us a thing or two about tan lines, for instance, but it’s her shoes we want to focus in on, here. Her shoes, and the way her toes are hanging out of them. Because sure, they’re great shoes, but…. ouch. That looks painful. And we don’t know why, but every time we look at her poor little toe hangin’ out all by itself in the picture on the left, it makes us laugh like schoolgirls.
The lesson, once again: well fitting clothes and shoes will never go out of fashion. Sophie, we’d like you to write that out 100x for us, please…
Oh great, this is just what we needed to see on a Friday afternoon – a dress that makes the eye go straight to the crotch, without passing ‘Go’ or, indeed, collection $200. Congratulations, Phoebe Price – your work here is done now. You have finally found the dress that allows you to have wardrobe malfunctions all day long, without having to wait around for a convenient gust of wind. We’re pretty sure you achieved this by going out wearing just a top, too. Let’s just hope you took your mother’s advice and wore some clean knickers. Or any knickers….
Across the world tonight, thousands of little girls are abandoning their dream of one day being a princess, thanks to this picture of Princess Caroline of Hanover. Well, you wouldn’t want to marry royalty if it meant walking around in a dress like this, would you? It may be Chanel, but seriously, is that her nipple we can see there? Is this any way for a Princess to dress? WHAT WOULD PRINCESS GRACE SAY?
To be completely honest, the phrase "wardrobe malfunction" isn’t even strong enough to sum this up. It’s like her wardrobe went into complete and utter meltdown. Also: there appears to be a creepy "third arm" in this picture, and we can’t quite work it out, but we know that it’s wrong, and scary. (We’re talking about the Chanel dress now, by the way. Although the third arm is pretty freaky, too.)
Mischa Barton has dealt with her wrinkled crotch issue. We’re glad. But now it’s time for Mischa to concentrate on the top half of her body: the part she was spotted almost-flashing yesterday while out shopping in a loose top with no bra. Why no bra, Mischa? This is almost asking for a wardrobe malfunction: it’s bad enough when you’re just walking along and we can see your boobs making a desperate bid for freedom out of the sides of your top, but when you bend over? Well, it’s almost indecent, isn’t it?
We haven’t been paying much attention to Amy Winehouse and her many wardrobe malfunctions lately, for the simple reason that we reckon The Fashion Police are the least of Amy’s worries around about now. But even with the best will in the world, we just can’t ignore displays like this one, which, let’s face it, just aren’t the kind of thing we’d expect from a well-bred young lady, aren’t they?
Amy, we’ve been turning a blind eye to your wardrobe malfunctions lately, but we’re starting to think you’re taking advantage of our leniency. And while we’re pleased to see that you’ve ditched the ol’ visible thong, its absence is raising uncomfortable questions about just what the hell you’re wearing underneath those jeans, and that’s not a question we’d like to dwell on, quite frankly.
Remember, The Fashion Police are always watching: and we still have our eyes on those ballet slippers…
Poor Kate Hudson and Camila Alves (girlfriend of Matthew McConaughey) – the wind got the better of them at last night’s Fool’s Gold premiere, leaving them looking a little less groomed than they would probably have liked.
Wind-induced wardrobe malfunctions aside, though, what does everyone think of Kate’s electric blue dress? We kinda like the style, but we’re hoping that pouching round the stomach was caused by the wind, because if it’s just a feature of the dress, or an ill-fit, it seems to be almost inviting all of those "OMG, Kate Hudson is pregnant!" rumours that have already started circulating…
Ah, that would be the price stickers on the soles of Kristen Stewart’s Brian Atwood shoes: one of our pet peeves.
In this case, it’s probably not actually Kristen’s fault: we would imagine that, as with most celebrities, the shoes were probably borrowed for the occasion, hence the stickers still being on the soles. (Although, in that case, the PR/stylist should still have removed them: it’s not like they’re going to still be able to sell them – at least, not at the price on the label – after they’ve been worn, is it?) This does, however, bring up two more of our favourite fashion gripes:
