Crimes of Fashion

Unsolved Mysteries: “Sleeve Shirt” Napkin by Marcella Foschi


First came the boots pretending to be shoes. Then the shoes-pretending-to-socks. Then the floodgates opened and The Fashion Police found ourselves dealing with dresses-pretending-to-be-cardigans, jumpsuits-pretending-to-be-tuxedos, and all kinds of other fashion impostors.

Now, however, we have to report that this "trend" has been taken to a whole new level: now even humble household goods are getting in on the act, and trying to pass themselves off as items of clothing. In the case of the napkin above – for yes, this is a "napkin", according to the item description – it hasn't quite managed the full transformation yet, and is left with only one sleeve, poor thing.

Now, we're the Fashion Police, not Keeping It Realtor, so this kind of falls outwith our usual remit: who knows, maybe there's a good reason why you'd need your napkin to have a single shirtsleeve? Maybe you'd just WANT it to have one, so you could be all cool and "quirky" and "edgy". We just don't know.

If you do feel a burning need to have a sleeve on your napkins, though, these are £34.03 from Colette – and don't worry, in the privacy of your own home, the Fashion Police don't really care what you happen to be wearing. Even if it's a napkin with a sleeve.

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