Ugly prom dresses may not be top of your shopping list when prom season rolls around, but there's no denying they can be funny to look at. The Fashion Police have been out on patrol rounding up some ugly prom dress suspects, so whether you're looking for laughs, or just want to know what to avoid, we have them all here for you. From the famous "Pregant Prom Dress" to the Mullet Dress, the Shower Puff Dress, and The Most Obscene Prom Dress We've Ever Arrested, take a look below for some Ugly Prom Dress hell...
We apologise for any burning caused to your retinas during viewing of this dress. We were still seeing the pattern a few hours after we looked away from it, so we feel your pain.
Nevertheless, we feel the existence of this dress teaches us all an important lesson about colour mixing and how not to do it. It could be summed up as “Orange and green should not be seen, without a….” Actually, no: they just shouldn’t be seen. Ever. Especially when they’re fluorescent orange and lime green.
If you disagree, however, this dress is $500 and you can buy it here.
Of course, with animal print – and particularly zebra print – being oh-so fashionable right now, perhaps this dress is simply “bang on trend“? Whaddya think?
[Thanks to Andrea for the report!]
We also have a confirmed sighting of a second zebra print prom dress, this time from Minnah:
This dress comes to us direct from 1985 not from a specialist prom dress store, like so many of the Ugly Prom Dresses we're forced to arrest, but from our old friend Topshop. This gives us cause for concern. Are Topshop trying to popularise the shiny satin look of the Ugly Prom Dress? Are these in fashion now? Are they, to use a term we've come to hate, "on trend"? God, we hope not. We just don't have the manpower to be able to deal with an outbreak of crimes like this one.
On the, er, plus side, this dress DOES appear to have saddlebags. Which is… handy. We guess.
Topshop describe this one as "a show-stopping dress, to be worn with killer heels". (We hope they mean the "killer" heels bit literally. As in, heels that would kill the dress.) If you agree with them, it's £50 and you can buy it here.
Just imagine what your prom photos would be like if you wore this for your big night! Especially ay group shots, where you're standing a little way back from the camera, and the detail of the bodice kinda merges into your skin, making you look like you're standing there completely topless!
Oh, now that’s just GREAT: we’re going to have “Eye of the Tiger” stuck in our heads ALL DAY now.
“Risin’ up, back on the street Did my time, took my chances Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet Just a model and her will to wear ugly prom dresses…”
This dress is by Jovani, and can be purchased here for $485. It’s funny because, just last week, someone commented on an ancient Ugly Prom Dress post about another Jovani dress, saying that we’re not allowed to dislike Jovani dresses because, OMG, it’s JOVANI, its, like, the BEST LABEL EVER, and that, clearly the only reason we would claim not to like any of their dresses* is because we just can’t afford such sophistication.
To this, all we can say is: damn, yeah, you totally nailed us, anonymous commenter! If we could only scrape together the princely sum of $485, we would totally be wearing this dress right now. Like, totally. Well, wouldn’t everyone?
[Thanks to Elle for the report!]
* We don’t dislike ALL Jovani dresses, by the way. Just the ones that look like this.
What. The. HELL? Is that a… ? No, it can’t be. It just can’t. But it looks like…? No. We refuse to believe it. It’s just an unfortunate design, that’s all. A really, really unfortunate design. A really unfortunate design that’s just earned this dress its own special place in the Fashion Police Jail, where we hope it will take the time to think about what it’s done here.
Oh, what a tragedy! An Ugly Prom Dress that wouldn't even be an Ugly Prom Dress but for one tiny detail: the belly button hole.
Now, it's our contention that belly buttons have no place at prom. None at all. This dress, however, makes the belly button the centrepiece of the whole outfit, ringing it with rhinestones as if to say "Look! A belly button! Betchya never saw one of these bad boys before!" Yes, it's all about the bellybutton here, and the overall effect is to make the model look like she needed emergency keyhole surgery, and the surgeon didn't have time to remove the dress first.
For this reason, and this reason alone, this dress has earned it's place in the Ugly Prom Dress parade. And it could've been so, so easily avoided…
We apologise for any burning caused to your retinas during viewing of this dress. We were still seeing the pattern a few hours after we looked away from it, so we feel your pain.
