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Just imagine what your prom photos would be like if you wore this for your big night! Especially ay group shots, where you're standing a little way back from the camera, and the detail of the bodice kinda merges into your skin, making you look like you're standing there completely topless!
One to show the grandchildren, for sure.
Oh, now that's just GREAT: we're going to have "Eye of the Tiger" stuck in our heads ALL DAY now.
"Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a model and her will to wear ugly prom dresses..."
This dress is by Jovani, and can be purchased here for $485. It's funny because, just last week, someone commented on an ancient Ugly Prom Dress post about another Jovani dress, saying that we're not allowed to dislike Jovani dresses because, OMG, it's JOVANI, its, like, the BEST LABEL EVER, and that, clearly the only reason we would claim not to like any of their dresses* is because we just can't afford such sophistication.
To this, all we can say is: damn, yeah, you totally nailed us, anonymous commenter! If we could only scrape together the princely sum of $485, we would totally be wearing this dress right now. Like, totally. Well, wouldn't everyone?
[Thanks to Elle for the report!]
* We don't dislike ALL Jovani dresses, by the way. Just the ones that look like this.
What. The. HELL? Is that a... ? No, it can't be. It just can't. But it looks like...? No. We refuse to believe it. It's just an unfortunate design, that's all. A really, really unfortunate design. A really unfortunate design that's just earned this dress its own special place in the Fashion Police Jail, where we hope it will take the time to think about what it's done here.
Now, let us never speak of this again.
(Thanks to Louisa for the report!)
Oh, what a tragedy! An Ugly Prom Dress that wouldn't even be an Ugly Prom Dress but for one tiny detail: the belly button hole.
Now, it's our contention that belly buttons have no place at prom. None at all. This dress, however, makes the belly button the centrepiece of the whole outfit, ringing it with rhinestones as if to say "Look! A belly button! Betchya never saw one of these bad boys before!" Yes, it's all about the bellybutton here, and the overall effect is to make the model look like she needed emergency keyhole surgery, and the surgeon didn't have time to remove the dress first.
For this reason, and this reason alone, this dress has earned it's place in the Ugly Prom Dress parade. And it could've been so, so easily avoided...
[Thanks to Jacey for the report!]
Judging by some of the comments we get on the various Ugly Prom Dresses in the Fashion Police cells, we know some of you are going to just love this one, and that's great: you can wear it, so we don't have to!
We, meanwhile, think this looks like Strawberry Shortcake just threw up all over it. And we can't blame her, really: the pinkness, the ruffles, the flowers... None of these things on their own would make for an ugly prom dress, of course, but put them altogether, mix for a few minutes, and you end up with a Toilet Doll with a serious penchant for pink. And let us just be blunt: there's no good way to dress like a toilet doll. We're sorry to disappoint you, but there just isn't.
The Fashion Police would've been ALL OVER this dress when we were young. Just look at it: it's one part ballerina's tutu, one part trashy princess, and another part that looks vaguely like something the 'Like a Virgin' era Madonna would've totally worn.
These days? Let's just say we're not so keen.
We are a little confused, though, because we didn't find this while policing one of our regular prom-dress hangouts, but at ASOS.com, where it's priced at £250. Or rather, where is WAS priced at £250, because almost as soon as that dress appeared on the ASOS website, it sold right out.
Tell us, then, readers: are our instincts guiding us wrong on this one? Is this dress just as fabulous to grown adults as it would've been to our eight-year-old selves? Tell us!
Since last Friday's Ugly Prom Dress roundup, we've had lots of reports of even more prom dress crimes. The Fashion Police fear these are the work of an organised Ugly Prom Dress Crime Ring, but please don't be alarmed: rest assured that we're working round the clock to round up the offenders and make the world of proms a safe place once more. Well, as safe as it ever was, anyway.
Here are some of the latest occupants of our cells. All of the suspects on this page are being sold as prom dresses. We live in frightening times, clearly.
We're confused. There's still a good while to go before prom season kicks off, and yet already the makers of ugly prom dresses seem to have gone into overdrive. The following suspects were all rounded up by Fashion Police Officer Alyssa, and come from ShopShop.com. We're starting of with the yellow number above, which we call "The Ugly Garden of Eden". There are more under the jump, though, so if it's ugly prom dresses you're looking for, well, you've come to the right place...
If, like us, your abs finished 2008 looking a little less ripped than the way they started it, courtesy of all that lovely Christmas food, this dress is probably your worst nightmare.
Actually, on second thoughts: forget the freakin' abs. Let's just say that if you're anything like us, this dress is probably your worst nightmare. Because, let's face it, you'd be as well just going out naked and having done with it, no? It's not just the abs that are exposed here: the cut-outs go all the way down to the hip bones, and skirt dangerously close to the crotch. Too close for comfort, in fact.
This is the way evening-wear has been going lately. The body-con trend was one thing, with all of those tight fighting bandage-style dresses, but this? This is something else entirely. And if it's a look you're into, well, we can only hope one of your New Year's Resolutions was to hit the gym hard...
(Thanks to Katie for the report!)
You know, The Fashion Police could swear we saw that bustier in the TK Maxx lingerie department sale, just before Christmas. Looks like some enterprising person snapped it up, sewed a black skirt onto the bottom, et voila - one Ugly Prom Dress! And the great thing is, you won't even have to wear underwear with it because... well, because the top half of it IS underwear. Genius.
The description on the retailer's website describes this as "ethereal". Well, that's one way of putting it we guess, although it possibly wouldn't have been the word The Fashion Police would've chosen...
(Thanks to officer Adrienne for the report!)
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