Giving new meaning to the phrase "body conscious"...

If, like us, your abs finished 2008 looking a little less ripped than the way they started it, courtesy of all that lovely Christmas food, this dress is probably your worst nightmare.

Actually, on second thoughts: forget the freakin' abs. Let's just say that if you're anything like us, this dress is probably your worst nightmare. Because, let's face it, you'd be as well just going out naked and having done with it, no? It's not just the abs that are exposed here: the cut-outs go all the way down to the hip bones, and skirt dangerously close to the crotch. Too close for comfort, in fact.

This is the way evening-wear has been going lately. The body-con trend was one thing, with all of those tight fighting bandage-style dresses, but this? This is something else entirely. And if it's a look you're into, well, we can only hope one of your New Year's Resolutions was to hit the gym hard...

(Thanks to Katie for the report!)

Ugly Prom Dresses: now with added lingerie

You know, The Fashion Police could swear we saw that bustier in the TK Maxx lingerie department sale, just before Christmas. Looks like some enterprising person snapped it up, sewed a black skirt onto the bottom, et voila - one Ugly Prom Dress! And the great thing is, you won't even have to wear underwear with it because... well, because the top half of it IS underwear. Genius.

The description on the retailer's website describes this as "ethereal". Well, that's one way of putting it we guess, although it possibly wouldn't have been the word The Fashion Police would've chosen...

(Thanks to officer Adrienne for the report!)

The Ugly Prom dresses are still out there...

Missing our Ugly Prom Dress of the Day column? Don't worry, it'll be back as soon as prom season starts up again, but in the meantime, feast your eyes on this little beauty, which comes to us from Alaai Prom Wear and retails for $355.

Is it just us, or us anyone else's fingers just itching to grab a pair of scissors and give this dress a little "trim" right now?

Another Ugly Prom Dress Interlude

It just goes to show, folks, it doesn't have to be prom season for the ugly prom dresses to be out in force. If there's one thing The Fashion Police have learned, it's that you have to be ever-vigilant against these crimes of fashion, and not let your guard down, even for a second. Because if you do, this is the kind of thing that happens.

This is another dress in the "Oh my God, I have fungi growing all over my body!" mould. It's the second such crime we've had to apprehend this week and we can only hope it'll be the last. Just be to be on the safe side, though, we're issuing a warning: be on the lookout for these crimes of prom fashion, people. Let's get them before they get us!

(Thanks to Officer Adrienne for sending in this report!)

Ugly Prom Dress Interlude

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you news of an Ugly Prom Dress in our midst. This dress was spotted at 4prom.com by Fashion Police Cadet Gabriella, and although it's nowhere near prom season, never let it be said that the Fashion Police failed to act on the reports of fashion crimes they receive.

These two young ladies look thrilled to be wearing dresses which leave their stomach's looking like they're covered in plague boils, don't they? That's nice. We're glad they're enjoying themselves while they can because we somehow don't think the Fashion Police jail will be even half as much fun...

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Oranges are not the only ugly prom dresses

On the website we found this dress on, every single other gown was being modelled by a real, live human being.

Every one except this one.

Our best guess is that they just couldn't pay anyone enough to slip into this. Seriously, even the mannequin's turning her head away, like she's thinking, "Oh God, please don't let anyone recognise me in this..."

Poor mannequin.

Of course, if you're going for an orange prom dress, then you're clearly not the kind of girl who likes to fade into the background. (Unless your prom is being held inside a giant orange, obviously). This isn't the easiest of colours to wear at the best of times, so we can't help but wonder why the designer of this dress decided to make things even more difficult on the person who purchases it by adding the tacky net bodice?

That question is probably doomed to go unanswered, because we can't imagine many of you wanting to wear this, but if you do, you can buy one fro $149 here.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The Tango Mango

A companion dress to the 'Bahama Mama', this dress also comes from the BeBora Rachelle stable, and is called "Tango Mango" - presumably because the colours will evoke sunset beaches and juicy, tropical fruits.

That's all well and good, of course, but what we're seeing here is a piñata. Is anyone else seeing a piñata?

The dress is sadly sold out in the short version, but don't despair - we're sure some crepe paper in "tango" and "mango" colours could step into the breech here and help you fashion your very own tropical delight of a dress. Or you could just buy the long version here.

Thanks to Cybele for reporting this one - remember, if you've spotted an Ugly Prom Dress recently, you can report it to The Fashion Police here.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Garden of Delights

You know how if you sprinkle cress seeds on a carpet and then water them, you can get it to grow? We really hope this poor girl managed to catch the varmints who did something similar to this prom dress of hers, which kinda looks like the bodice of it is alive.

Now, we know there will be those of you who like this one, so those people can buy the dress here. Personally, we wouldn't like that layered skirt even without the flora and fauna attached to it, so we'll be giving this one a miss...

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Report it to The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Denim Addiction

Yes, it's a denim prom dress. A prom dress made from... denim. As for the tendrils around the neckline, well, we don't know what they're made from, but our best guess would be it's one of those lace doilies you sometimes see on people's dinner tables, or hanging over the back of seats. So, doily and denim: any takers? Oh come on, it's only $249...

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Peach n' Pretty

DeBora Rachelle does it again, folks, with the kind of dress even Barbie would reject as too frou frou for words. It's hard to know what kind of punishment would be most suitable for this kind of fashion crime, though, and we're tempted to think that anyone actually attending prom in something like this has probably been punished enough. What do you think?

Ghetto Prom Dress of the Day: The Bermuda Triangles

Every time we think we've seen it all, and that there's nothing in the realm of ugly/ghetto prom dresses that can surprise or shock us any more, something comes along to prove us wrong.

This is one of those times.

This dress was submitted by Fashion Police Cadet Michelle, who didn't tell us where exactly she found it. We think that's probably a good thing, don't you?

Now, let us never speak of this again.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: For pregnant prom-goers only

To be fair, this dress isn't so much "ugly" as it's just woefully unflattering to anyone who isn't at least a few months pregnant. And even then, we're sure you could find something that wouldn't encourage people to think they could camp out under you if they really needed to. Trust us, empire lines and pleats aren't a great combo if you don't want to spend the evening being asked whether you're hoping for a girl or a boy...

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Red Lace

As much as we hate to see dresses with see-through sections on the bodice, we actually think we may hate see-through sections with a pattern on them even more. The purpose seems to be to make you look like you have an upper-body tattoo, you see, and while this is far from the worst Ugly Prom Dress we've featured here, we think it still qualifies for that bodice alone.

If you disagree, though, and you absolutely must slip into that red lace on prom night, you can buy it here for $440.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Fuchsia Ruffles over Yellow Satin

The clue was in the title with this one, wasn't it? Because when a dress is described as having "fuchsia ruffles over yellow satin", it's pretty hard to imagine how it could end up being anything other than an Ugly Prom Dress of the Day, no?

Still, one mans rags is another man's riches, and one woman's Ugly Prom Dress is another woman's dream gown, so if this is the dress you've been searching for, and you have a spare $178 to burn, you'll find it here.

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress?

We're always looking for new, hideous dresses to feature in our Ugly Prom Dress of the Day slot, so if you've seen one, send us a link, plus the reason you think it deserves the title, and we'll show it to the world! (Or to our readers, anyway.)

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The Southern Belle

We just hate to think what kind of curtains Scarlett had to destroy to come up with this little number. Still, at least she looks happy. That's the main thing, right?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Too much pink, perhaps?

"Pink! It totally makes the boys wink, you know! Makes 'em vomit, too, if you're not careful..."

[Dress]

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The Pink Flamingo

"Now, don't look at me like that! What you have to remember is that the flamingo who died to make this dress had a good life, and he was totally happy to sacrifice himself so I could go to the prom looking like this. No, he was! And I just bet he's up there in flamingo heaven right now, looking down on me! And laughing. What? Why are you still looking at me like that?!"

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress?

Remember to do your duty and report it to The Fashion Police. Do not approach these dresses! They could be dangerous...

More Ugly Prom Dresses!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: See through skirt

"Can you believe I found this in the clearance section? Oh no, wait: you totally can, can't you?"

(Thanks to Jen for the report!)

Me Tarzan, you Ugly Prom Dress of the Day

There's an outside chance that this dress could look better if the wearer wasn't shaking her thang quite so hard. Or it could still make her look like she's been stranded on a desert island for years, with no hope of escape. What do you think?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Trailing Tendrils

Girlfriend looks mighty smug for someone with half a squid stuck to her dress, dontchya think?

(Thanks to Ruby for the report!)

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Animal Instincts...

"Raar! I am ze sexy lady, no? I on ze hunt like ze vild animal I wear! I take you back to my lair, ve do it like zey do on ze Doscovery Channel, yes?"

Totally the look you're aiming for on prom night. No question.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Flesh-flashing

Frumpy and a little bit trashy: now there's a combination you don't see too often! Thankfully.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Psychadelic Delight

"...and after a few more glasses of punch, well, I just didn't care WHAT I was wearing no more. At one point I even started hallucinating that someone else's head was attached to my body! Yeah, it was a great prom..."

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Chantilly lace, and an ugly prom dress

"Tell me truthfully now, have I used too many lace ruffles? Wait, what am I saying? You can never have too many lace ruffles!"

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Cinderella

"I totally should've listened to the Fairy Godmother when she told me it'd turn back into rags at midnight..."

Ugly Confusing Prom Dress of the Day

Ribs were big that year. Apparently.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Keep smiling through the fug...

Suddenly Scarlett wasn't quite so sure this dress had been the best idea for the Twelve Oaks barbecue...

Ghetto Prom Dress of the Day: The famous Pregnant Prom Dress

It's ancient, we know, but as we're in the business of rounding up all of the ugly prom dresses in the world and imprisoning them in the Fashion Police jail, there was just no way in the world we could ignore the famous pregnant prom dress, first spotted at UglyDress.com, and made fun off all over the Internet ever since.

It's our belief that this may actually be the ugliest prom dress ever. Because, seriously, if there's a way to look worse at prom than by making your pregnant belly your number one accessory, we just don't know what it is... and we're not sure we want to know, either.

Spotted a dress uglier than this one? Do your duty to society and call The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Sheer skirt

"And I was like, 'No, mom, I am NOT wearing a skirt to the prom, and you can't even make me!' So we compromised. This is the compromise. This way I get to show my knickers but I still lool classy. Clever!"

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Parachutes

  "But on the plus side, if I fall out of a plane while I'm wearing it, I'll just float gently back to earth. I mean, that could totally happen at prom, right? RIght?"

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Ballroom Barbie

We don't know what you think, but we're not at all convinced that our Barbies would've worn this dress - not even Crystal Barbie, who liked shiny things, or Pink n' Pretty Barbie, with her penchant for pink. Of course, there may well have been a Fashion Criminal Barbie we just weren't aware of (Damn!), in which case perhaps the easily-creased pink silk, ruched bodice, puffy sleeves and kicky little "butt bow" (to make your butt look like a present, see?), not to mention the cunning use of lace, would've set her plastic heart on fire. Maybe.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Class of 1982

Oh, you glamorous 80s, you were like an ugly prom dress factory, and how we love you for it! Back in its day, of course, this dress would probably have been considered the absolute height of fashion. It has all of those 80s elements: the shiny fabric, the pointed bodice, the type of sleeves that would make a quarterback proud, the fug... Why, all you need is a pair of pointy stilettos (Barbie pink would do just fine), a back-combed perm, and you're ready to party like it's 1982!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Crystal Carrington's favourite gown

"If I click my fingers just like this, will I wake up from this nightmare and find out I'm not actually wearing this dress?"

Today we're venturing away from the world of Ugly Prom Dresses in particular and taking a quick stroll through the land of Ugly Formal Wear in general. Now, we realise that this dress was probably designed with the, ahem, "more mature" lady in mind (even although the model doesn't look particularly "mature"), but it's our contention that no one needs to dress like this, no matter what their age. Why so Crystal Carrington, we wonder? Won't Linda Evans be pissed when she finds out someone raided her wardrobe?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Like a Virgin

This dress will be just perfect if your prom happens to be being held in the 1980s. You know what else would be perfect? Lace gloves. And bubble gum. And hey, why not ditch the inoffensive shoes this model is wearing, and get yourself some bright pink pointy toed stilettos instead? Get into the groove, folks - you know you want to!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Birds of a feather

When we first laid eyes on this dress, we thought it wasn't quite as bad as some of the ugly prom dresses in our archive. Then we read the description and realised that those are feathers on the skirt - or they're supposed to be feathers, anyway: the picture is a little too small to tell whether they're real or not.

This realisation made us look at the dress in a whole new light. Suddenly we're seeing, not just a frou-frou, frilly little prom dress, but some strange species of bird, strutting and pecking its way around the prom, and shaking its feathered tail. Suddenly we're feeling a little ill.

And are we imagining things, or is the model sticking her tounge out at us?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The Green Goddess

Well, come on - you didn't spend all that time on the abs machine at the gym, only to cover yourself up for prom, did you?

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Call The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Almost topless

It's that eternal dilemma: you really, really want to go topless to the prom, but those pesky laws relating to public decency just won't allow it. What's a girl to do? Enter the "see through bodice dress" - the prom dress that allows you to create the illusion of being naked from the waist up, without getting you arrested.

Could anything be classier than that?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: the toilet-cover doll

Anyone remember toilet cover dolls? We're hoping, for your own sake, that you answered "no" to that question, but just in case you did, they were creepy little dolls with huge, crocheted dresses that some people used to place over the top of their spare loo rolls in a bid to make them look more "genteel". In fact, some people probably still do.

And that's exactly what you would look like, were you to wear this dress to prom: a toilet cover doll. Isn't that just fab?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The ice dance costume

Ah, figure skating, how we love it! The rigid hairdos, the American tan tights, the sequin-covered costumes! It's a Fashion Police officer's dream nightmare, but wait... why's this 1980s figure-skating costume being sold as a prom dress? Oh. OH.

You know, normally we love us some puff sleeves, but we're thinking it's long past time these ones had a little appointment with ol' Edward Scissorhands, no? And in fact, maybe Eddie there could see what he could do with the rest of it, too...

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: We're speechless

No, seriously, we're speechless.

And yes, we did find this on a site selling prom dresses. Not, you know, stripper clothes.

Still speechless.

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Fifteen minutes of fame

What is it about lime green satin that makes it look oh-so very wrong on dresses, we wonder? Oh yeah, it's because it's fugly: glad we sorted that one out...

This dress was submitted by Fashion Police reader Amelia, who points out an interesting fact about the product description. "With this dress you will get your fifteen minutes of fame... and more" promises the website. We're assuming the "fifteen minutes of fame will come from your Fashion Police mugshot, while the "more" will be the time you spend banged up in FP Jail.

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Report it to The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The belly dancer

When is a dress not a dress? Well, when it's a skirt and top, like this one - and while we can think of lots of "skirt and bodice" combos that would look great for prom, er, this isn't one of them.  And when it comes to formal wear, we'd suggest that the "flash your boobs OR your legs, not both" rule should be expanded to include the line "and flash your belly button never." Who's with us?

Thanks to Becca for reporting this prom dress crime. Remember, if you've seen an Ugly Prom Dress, it's your duty to do the right thing and report it to The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Salsa time!

After the recent round of ghetto prom dresses we've been featuring in this column, this dress looks almost demure in comparison, doesn't it? Fear not, though: the fug is still there, and if you don't believe us, just try rocking up to prom dressed in this little number and see how many times you're mistaken for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert....

Ghetto Prom Dress of the Day: You have GOT to be kidding us...

"And the great thing about it is, it can totally double as my ghetto wedding dress, too!"

We've seen a lot of ugly prom dresses in our time policing the wild world of fashion, but we think this may be the first time we've been totally lost for words. We're pleased to see that the "Hooker Heels" are in place here, though - because it wouldn't be a ghetto prom dress without a pair of hooker heels now, would it?

Link | More ghetto prom dresses

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The 'Laced Angel'

We didn't even have to invent a title for today's Ugly Prom Dress, because this dress is actually called "Laced Angel". But what is the Laced Angel actually doing in this picture, that's what we'd like to know? Laying an egg? Dancing the funky chicken? WHAT?

Answers in the comments box below, folks...

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: How the mighty are fallen

Wait, is that Rachel Zoe? Boy, did she go down in the world...

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Report it to The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Lipstick, powder and prom dress

"You'd dance like this too if you'd been kissed by a giant right before prom!"

When we first laid eyes on this prom dress, which was reported to us by Sarah, we couldn't quite believe our eyes. What happened to this poor girl, we wondered? Because we know it's sometimes hard to avoid getting lipstick on your clothes, but WHAT KIND OF LIPS MADE THESE MARKS? Or do we just not want to even go there?

Keep fighting the good fight against ugly prom dresses, folks, by reporting them to The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: The bling-bling bra

"I look like I'm wearing lots of expensive jewellery AND I get to show people my nipples. Does it get any classier than this?"

Fashion Police arrest teen for prom dress related crimes: a warning to us all...

So, you thought your ugly prom dress couldn't actually get you arrested? Think again folks...

Marche Taylor, on the left of the picture, also thought her skimpy prom dress couldn't get her into trouble - until she was refused admission to her prom because of it.

"It was revealing in such a way that it would not be appropriate for a prom," said the principle of Marche's high school, in Houston, Texas. Marche, however, disagreed, and the ensuing fracas resulted in the police being called and the teen fashion criminal being led away in cuffs. Which just goes to show you: it's not just The Fashion Police you have to worry about when it comes to dressing for prom.

"I actually like the dress. Everybody else likes my dress," insisted Marche, yesterday. Well, everyone: do you?

(Thanks to Michelle and Julie for the report!)

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Attack of the killer ruffles

"And if you think it looks bad from the front, just wait 'til I turn round!"

Looks like yesterday's 'Dangling Ruffle' disease was contagious. As you all probably know, dangly bits of all kinds can be fatal to prom dresses, so The Fashion Police are doing our best to contain the situation. In the meantime, if you spot any examples of this particular crime, don't approach the dress - we repeat DO NOT APPROACH THE DRESS. Just call The Fashion Police and let us deal with it...

(Thanks to Ruby for calling this one in!)

[Dress]

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: It crawled from the deep...

...and we wish to God it would just crawl back there.

Also: what's with all of the dangling ruffles on "prom" dresses lately? Are these girls trying to look like pinatas or something? Why?!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: What your choice of prom gown says about you...

"What do you mean, do I charge by the hour?!"

Spotted an ugly prom dress on parade? Call The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Black velvet, and that brainwashed smile

The overly perky expression on the face of this model suggests to us that something a little bit 'Stepford Wives' went on in order to get her into this dress. Well, would you willingly slip into black velvet with sequins all over? The gloves, of course, with matching rhinestone bracelet, are an essential touch here - that's where the mechanism that controls her is hidden...

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Call The Fashion Police!

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Bake in the oven for 30 minutes before wearing

Monday's ugly prom dress was by 'Xtreme', this one is by 'Xcite'. Are you starting to see what we mean about the wackily-spelled-brand-names-beginning-with-X?

We're curious as to whether the cooking instructions come with it or not. Can you put it in the microwave, do you think, or does it have to go in the oven? And why so tinfoily, anyway? What makes a young girl open her closet and think, "Gee, it's prom soon, and what I really wish I had is a dress fashioned out of tinfoil."?

Answers on a postcard...

Spotted an Ugly Prom Dress? Call The Fashion Police!

More Ugly Prom Dresses

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Pink Princess

We somehow don't think even Barbie herself could have been persuaded to wear this dress, which appears to have been fashioned out of a pair of Barbara Cartland's old curtains, and which makes us think of a Disney Princess gone wrong. Very wrong. What does it make you think of?

Ugly Prom Dress of the Day: Xtremely Xciting

A useful rule of thumb The Fashion Police use when ID-ing ugly dresses is that if the brand name of the dress involves a regular word spelt in a "wacky" way, usually involving the letter X, "classy" is not normally something we can expect from the clothes themselves. This doesn't hold true for all wackily named brands, of course, but it did hold true for this dress, which comes from a brand called "Xtreme" - that's "extreme", but with a Z. Do you see what they did there.

Names aside, this dress comes in a lime green colour (flattering on all complexions!) and is a classic example of the "mullet dress", with one side lo