Ugly Prom Dresses

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      Wear or Die: Ugly Prom Dress Edition

      For this week’s edition of Wear or Die, we bring you two dresses, both pulled from our very own Ugly Prom Dress gallery, and both modelled by the same girl. That poor, poor girl. She’s not as lucky as you are: she didn’t get to choose which of these dresses she wore, she just had to wear them both! Your task, then, is a little easier in comparison: you must choose one the two dresses shown above… or you must die! The rules: 1. You must choose one of the options shown above, to be worn in public 2. You are not allowed to hide the outfit in any way: no large overcoats allowed! 3. Death is not an option!…

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Lucious Lamé

      Our thanks to Fashion Police reader Tara for calling in a report on this prom dress. Our officers picked the dress up in the early hours of this morning, and it’s now resting in the cells, sobering up, and hopefully thinking about what it’s done. You know, sometimes when we look at dresses like this, there’s a part of us that thinks, “Well, OK, it’s ugly, trashy, and your basic HOT MESS, but no way is that intended to be worn at prom. Unless by “prom” you mean “a prom in a certain type of adult movie”. This one, though? This one actually IS being sold as an honest-to-God prom dress. We submit the following into evidence:

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: The Heart Dress

      We’re going to be generous and assume this dress wasn’t actually designed with prom in mind, and is, in fact, intended for some other kind of evening event, the likes of which we wouldn’t really like to speculate about. With that said, judging by some of the other dresses in our ugly prom dresses gallery, maybe this IS the kind of thing people are wearing to prom these days. Anyone? (Click here to buy it)

      Jovani short beaded dress

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Jovani guilty again

      Reader Angela alerted us to this number by Jovani, and we are glad she did.  Our officers are on the way to apprehend it as we speak. Angela says that the model seems to be saying: “For prom, all I want is to look like Medusa from The Little Mermaid! Those tentacles were just SO attractive!” If Medusa is your prom style icon too, this dress can be yours for $470 at Prom Girl.

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Curtain on the Crotch

      “Look, everyone! Look at my crotch! No! No! Don’t look at the dress! Can’t you see I’m trying to distract you from the ugliness of the dress by holding it open, like a curtain on the crotch? Look, you can see my underwear and everything!” Sorry, sweetie, it’s too late: we saw the dress, and we’re arresting it. Modelling is hard, you know… [Product Page | Thanks to Simona for the report!]

      Jovani Camouflage sequin mermaid prom dress

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Camouflage and brown paper?

      Yes folks, it’s prom season again with all those Christmas party and ball invitations about to come flooding in any moment.  And what are you going to wear to your special event this year?  How about this little number, which appears to be made from old army camouflage uniforms, and brown paper?  With added sequins for that holiday pizazz!   Just the thing, right?  Jovani clearly think so as this is just one of their designs that features the brown paper-like fabric, and there are more featuring prints not dissimilar to the camouflage one shown here. Sadly, this is only available to buy in stores, so bad luck if you’re not in the US.  If you are in the US and…

      Lionella sexy long red dress

      Ugly Prom Dress: Lionella sexy long red dress

      Well we guess ‘sexy’ is one word you could use to describe this dress.  We can think of another one that also begins with S, though.  Lionella describe this dress as having a ‘sensual revealing open front design’.  Again, ‘sensual’ was not the S word we were thinking of. Aside from being rather chilly attending your winter prom in this dress, we can’t see that the organisers would be too thrilled at you turning up to their black tie event with your midriff most of your flesh on show. If you think it’s just the job for your formal event though, you can buy it here for £36.68.

      Lionella bikini top dress

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Lionella bikini top dress

      We think the title of this post tells you all you need to know about the calibre of prom dresses that Lionella sell.  Look at the poor model’s face.  We think she’s just caught sight of herself in the mirror judging by that look shock and horror.  Wait til she sees the back view:

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      Ugly Prom Dresses: Alexia Lime Green Dress

       We can’t quite decide what the worst part of this prom dress is. The lime green? The fact that someone thought lime green and pastel pink would look good together? Or maybe it’s the daises. The idea that ‘less is more’ really doesn’t seem to be a factor here. But we think the major issue here is that it’s so very unflattering. She looks about four sizes bigger than she really is! Masses of lime green fabric is not a good look. If you disagree, you can buy this from Be Flirty for £245.

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      Ugly Prom Dresses Roundup: The Ultimate Ugly Prom Dress Gallery!

      Ugly prom dresses: they’re out there. Oh boy, are they out there. The Fashion Police have been arresting these ugly prom dresses for years now, in a bid to keep the prom-going public free of such horrors as the “Bahama Mama” and “The One That Looks Like a Toilet Roll Doll”, but the consequence of that has been that our jail is now overflowing with ugly prom dresses of all descriptions. Some are tacky, some are trashy; some contain such lurid colours and patterns that not even eyeball bleach can save our sight. Others have strange cut-outs, so little fabric that you may as well go naked, or bizarre dangly bits that we can’t even begin to fathom.  Some are…

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Spare Ribs

      When a retailer uses the word “sexy” to describe a prom dress, it’s usually a red flag for the Fashion Police officers. In this case “sexy” has been translated as “all the colours of the rainbow, as many different prints as we could manage, and, oh yeah, we ruthlessly attacked the bodice with a pair of shears, so now it’s attached to the skirt with a set of fabric ‘ribs’.” We maintain that the wearer of the dress should be the one supplying the ribs, not the dress itself. If you beg to differ, however, this is $358 from here.

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Backless Animal Print

      Granted, this  isn’t quite as bad as some animal print prom dresses we’ve featured. We’ve seen worse, haven’t we? Even so, we’re starting to think it’s time The Fashion Police producted some kind of Statute on the Acceptable Use of Animal Print. The first point could be: NOT ON A PROM DRESS, for the love of Gaga, no! What do you think, readers? Would you wear this to prom? If you would, you can head over here and buy it.

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      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: Jovani and the dress of many colours

      We apologise for any burning caused to your retinas during viewing of this dress. We were still seeing the pattern a few hours after we looked away from it, so we feel your pain. Nevertheless, we feel the existence of this dress teaches us all an important lesson about colour mixing and how not to do it. It could be summed up as “Orange and green should not be seen, without a….” Actually, no: they just shouldn’t be seen. Ever. Especially when they’re fluorescent orange and lime green. If you disagree, however, this dress is $500 and you can buy it here.

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      Ugly Prom Dress Sighting: the zebra-print prom dress x2

      Nothing says “prom” quite like all-over animal print, does it? Of course, with animal print – and particularly zebra print – being oh-so fashionable right now, perhaps this dress is simply “bang on trend“? Whaddya think? [Thanks to Andrea for the report!] We also have a confirmed sighting of a second zebra print prom dress, this time from Minnah:

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert! Taffeta prom dress from Topshop

      This dress comes to us direct from 1985 not from a specialist prom dress store, like so many of the Ugly Prom Dresses we're forced to arrest, but from our old friend Topshop. This gives us cause for concern. Are Topshop trying to popularise the shiny satin look of the Ugly Prom Dress? Are these in fashion now? Are they, to use a term we've come to hate, "on trend"? God, we hope not. We just don't have the manpower to be able to deal with an outbreak of crimes like this one. On the, er, plus side, this dress DOES appear to have saddlebags. Which is… handy. We guess. Topshop describe this one as "a show-stopping dress, to be…

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: the illusion of nudity

      Just imagine what your prom photos would be like if you wore this for your big night! Especially ay group shots, where you're standing a little way back from the camera, and the detail of the bodice kinda merges into your skin, making you look like you're standing there completely topless! One to show the grandchildren, for sure. [Product Page]

      Ugly Prom Dress Arrest: Animal print – now with added belly-flashing

      Oh, now that’s just GREAT: we’re going to have “Eye of the Tiger” stuck in our heads ALL DAY now. “Risin’ up, back on the street Did my time, took my chances Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet Just a model and her will to wear ugly prom dresses…” This dress is by Jovani, and can be purchased here for $485. It’s funny because, just last week, someone commented on an ancient Ugly Prom Dress post about another Jovani dress, saying that we’re not allowed to dislike Jovani dresses because, OMG, it’s JOVANI, its, like, the BEST LABEL EVER, and that, clearly the only reason we would claim not to like any of their dresses* is because we just can’t…

      Possibly the most confusing (and obscene!) ugly prom dress we’ve ever arrested…

        What. The. HELL? Is that a… ? No, it can’t be. It just can’t. But it looks like…? No. We refuse to believe it. It’s just an unfortunate design, that’s all. A really, really unfortunate design. A really unfortunate design that’s just earned this dress its own special place in the Fashion Police Jail, where we hope it will take the time to think about what it’s done here. Now, let us never speak of this again. [image source] (Thanks to Louisa for the report!)

      Ugly Prom Dress Alert: the belly button dress

      Oh, what a tragedy! An Ugly Prom Dress that wouldn't even be an Ugly Prom Dress but for one tiny detail: the belly button hole. Now, it's our contention that belly buttons have no place at prom. None at all. This dress, however, makes the belly button the centrepiece of the whole outfit, ringing it with rhinestones as if to say "Look! A belly button! Betchya never saw one of these bad boys before!" Yes, it's all about the bellybutton here, and the overall effect is to make the model look like she needed emergency keyhole surgery, and the surgeon didn't have time to remove the dress first. For this reason, and this reason alone, this dress has earned it's…

      Ugly Prom Dress of the Week: the Strawberry Shortcake

        Judging by some of the comments we get on the various Ugly Prom Dresses in the Fashion Police cells, we know some of you are going to just love this one, and that's great: you can wear it, so we don't have to! We, meanwhile, think this looks like Strawberry Shortcake just threw up all over it. And we can't blame her, really: the pinkness, the ruffles, the flowers… None of these things on their own would make for an ugly prom dress, of course, but put them altogether, mix for a few minutes, and you end up with a Toilet Doll with a serious penchant for pink. And let us just be blunt: there's no good way to…

      Unique Boutique floral print corsage mini prom dress: your thoughts?

        The Fashion Police would've been ALL OVER this dress when we were young. Just look at it: it's one part ballerina's tutu, one part trashy princess, and another part that looks vaguely like something the 'Like a Virgin' era Madonna would've totally worn. These days? Let's just say we're not so keen. We are a little confused, though, because we didn't find this while policing one of our regular prom-dress hangouts, but at ASOS.com, where it's priced at £250. Or rather, where is WAS priced at £250, because almost as soon as that dress appeared on the ASOS website, it sold right out. Tell us, then, readers: are our instincts guiding us wrong on this one? Is this dress…

      Ugly Prom Dresses: yes, there’s more of them…

      Since last Friday’s Ugly Prom Dress roundup, we’ve had lots of reports of even more prom dress crimes. The Fashion Police fear these are the work of an organised Ugly Prom Dress Crime Ring, but please don’t be alarmed: rest assured that we’re working round the clock to round up the offenders and make the world of proms a safe place once more. Well, as safe as it ever was, anyway. Here are some of the latest occupants of our cells. All of the suspects on this page are being sold as prom dresses. We live in frightening times, clearly.

      Ugly Prom Dress Roundup

      We’re confused. There’s still a good while to go before prom season kicks off, and yet already the makers of ugly prom dresses seem to have gone into overdrive. The following suspects were all rounded up by Fashion Police Officer Alyssa, and come from ShopShop.com. We’re starting of with the yellow number above, which we call “The Ugly Garden of Eden”. There are more under the jump, though, so if it’s ugly prom dresses you’re looking for, well, you’ve come to the right place…

      Giving new meaning to the phrase “body conscious”…

      If, like us, your abs finished 2008 looking a little less ripped than the way they started it, courtesy of all that lovely Christmas food, this dress is probably your worst nightmare. Actually, on second thoughts: forget the freakin’ abs. Let’s just say that if you’re anything like us, this dress is probably your worst nightmare. Because, let’s face it, you’d be as well just going out naked and having done with it, no? It’s not just the abs that are exposed here: the cut-outs go all the way down to the hip bones, and skirt dangerously close to the crotch. Too close for comfort, in fact. This is the way evening-wear has been going lately. The body-con trend was…

      Ugly Prom Dresses: now with added lingerie

      You know, The Fashion Police could swear we saw that bustier in the TK Maxx lingerie department sale, just before Christmas. Looks like some enterprising person snapped it up, sewed a black skirt onto the bottom, et voila – one Ugly Prom Dress! And the great thing is, you won’t even have to wear underwear with it because… well, because the top half of it IS underwear. Genius. The description on the retailer’s website describes this as "ethereal". Well, that’s one way of putting it we guess, although it possibly wouldn’t have been the word The Fashion Police would’ve chosen… (Thanks to officer Adrienne for the report!)