Explain these shorts

high waisted wool shorts by ellery

A Monday morning challenge for you, readers: imaginary donuts for the first person to give us a plausible explanation for the existence of these shorts. Under what awful set of circumstances would you need a pair of high-waited, bodycon knitted shorts, we wonder? Surely not to wear like this, with ankle boots or peep toes (Peep Toe Boot Rule! Although the shoes on the left aren’t really “boots”, are they? They’re just… well, ugly, basically.)

Even assuming that you DO suddenly find yourself thinking “Gosh, I wish I had a pair of knitted shorts around about now,” why would you be paying $625 for them? (Knitters! You need to get on this! Seriously, you can make a killing here, if we can just find enough people willing to buy these…)

Do you accept the challenge? Go on, then, tell us why we need a pair of $600 knitted shorts in our lives!

(The shorts are by Ellery, by the way: click here to buy a pair, but tell us when and how you’re going to be wearing them first, we beg you.)

14 Comments

  • September 26, 2011

    Caroline

    I am not rising to the challenge as such, but was going to suggest they do have a vaguely vintage feel. Like the kind of thing you might have worn on the beach in days of yore when wool was the only available fabric – during a cotton drought, perhaps? :S

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    • September 26, 2011

      Caroline

      With a matching knitted bikini triangle top.

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    • October 7, 2011

      Claudia

      Yes. like a Claire McCardell (hope I spelled her correctly) bathing suit from the 50s, but these were fine knit.

      I had something similar as a girl, in angora wool, and I absolutely *had* to wear them under everything, because of recurring urinary tract infections. Now, mine were thin, but if these UTIs should ever return, I get the thick version as depcted above.

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  • September 26, 2011

    Andre

    Well you wouldn’t want a cold crotch now yould you?

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  • September 26, 2011

    Clara

    I could imagine these being worn as warm up clothes for ballet dancers. Many of my friends often layer knitted pieces over their leotards, and that would be a cute look. That definitely doesn’t seem like the target audience here though…

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    • September 26, 2011

      Ria

      That was my first thought- I know people who wear knitted shorts for warm-up and the first few barre exercises, since it’s crucial that the teacher be able to see your legs to correct you. I can’t see spending $600 for them, though… dancewear is expensive, but not that expensive.

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  • September 26, 2011

    Rudi

    These models are wearing them wrong. It’s actually a hat for giant rabbits. (An admittedly niche market – explaining the price tag.)

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    • September 27, 2011

      Lulu

      I dunno if you’ll get an imaginary donut for that comment, but at the very least you deserve an imaginary carrot!!!

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  • September 26, 2011

    Gee-gee

    Someone wanted to knit Long-johns and gave up shortly after completing the legs??

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  • September 26, 2011

    Vintage Hippo Trish

    I would definitely wear these but not styled with heels as shown. These would be perfect for ballet in the cooler months, I actually really want some now. lol

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  • September 26, 2011

    Eriyle

    The only way I can see these being worn is under an otherwise indecently short dress or skirt. Or layered under another pair of shorts, maybe?

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  • September 27, 2011

    Aline C

    you see my legs were jealous of my upper body and its sweaters so they had Ellery make them leg-sweaters.
    Can i get my donuts now? 🙂

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  • September 27, 2011

    Lighty_Lo

    I’ve seen knitted leggins and they’re not that horrible… but shorts are kind of pointless to me…

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  • September 27, 2011

    Alexandra

    Wow, these are amazingly popular in Japanse style right now… but as I don’t live in Japan, or have model-skinny legs, I shall leave them be.

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