Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Crimes of Fashion: Ugly Fur Boots Take Over For Fall 2011

Today, we want to talk to you about boots. Specifically furry boots. Now, we know you probably don’t want to think about furry boots in July. Or possibly AT ALL: we know we’d prefer to never have to think about fur boots, but the fact is, we’re The Fashion Police, we have to think of these things.

This year, we have a particular interest in the issue of fur boots, because, as Fall/Winter 2011 approaches, and the new season stock starts to appear on retail website, we’ve been noticing an alarming amount of boots that look like this:

Suspect #1: Faux fur boots, Prada: click here to buy them

Or like this:

Suspect # 2: Miu Miu Mongolian fur boots, $750: click here to buy them

The Prada boots are faux fur, while the Miu Miu ones are real. They’re both ugly, as far as we’re concerned, so we don’t know why they couldn’t have just used faux fur all the way and saved a few furry lives, but that’s another debate, for another time. For now, we just want to know why things like this have to exist:

Suspect # 3: Yeti style faux fur boots, £65, Dune: click here to buy

We mean, OK, sure, if you live in a place that’s colder than Anna Wintour’s heart, fine: wear your Yeti boots with pride, and tell us it’s a purely practical thing, and that you just don’t want your feet to be cold. The thing is, though, all of the boots above would be pretty useless in the snow – just imagine all that wet, bedraggled fur drying by the fire after a long winter walk, with snow clinging to every last strand – so we ask again: why do they exist? Why do people want their legs to look like they belong in The Child’s Book of Monsters?

Suspect # 4: See by Chloe Eco fur boots, £257: click here to buy them

These ones look like you could enter them in Crufts if you wanted to. Is anyone else getting the urge to tie a couple of pink ribbons into each side and create pigtails? Just us?

“Yeti” boots, however, are just one part of the furry boots trend. We also found these:

Suspect # 5: Diego Dolcini fur-collar booties, $825: click here to buy them

The fur-collar “bootie”. WE KNOW.

Suspect # 6: Viktor & Rolf shearling bootie, $995: click here to buy

This suspect isn’t so much a fur boot as a woolly one. If you’re thinking it looks a bit like a sheep, that’s because it used to be one. Yeah.

Shoes are not exempt from the scourge of the fur either:

Suspect # 7: Alexander Wang rabbit fur shoes, $895: click here to buy them

On the plus side, these will come in really useful when you need to clean your floors. In fact, you’ll clean every surface you ever walk on in them. On the minus side, however… we don’t really need to finish that sentence, do we?

What say you, Fashion Police Jury? Are these suspects innocent or guilty of committing crimes of fashion?

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